


Close yet miles away

by UselessSidecharacter



Category: Dimension 20
Genre: Adaine’s parents being dicks, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, As In repeatedly and with no self-confidence, Elf Culture & Customs, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, I hate titles, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Message in a bottle, Music, No Beta We Die Like Gilear, Non-binary Fig, Not Beta Read, Self Harm, Slow Burn, The fluff will make the angst hit harder, Wasn’t supposed to have as much fluff but here we are, just so much angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:27:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 35
Words: 66,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26484142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UselessSidecharacter/pseuds/UselessSidecharacter
Summary: Adaine Abernant was broken.I mean, that was the only explanation wasn’t it? That was the only reason she felt so empty, so alone. She had a family, a family which never actually did anything bad to her. But still, she felt like she had no one.Figueroth formerly Faeth was a monster.She was reminded of that every time her Dad looked at her with something bordering on hatred, or when her mom looked at her with guilt, or when her friends pointed and whispered behind her back, since her horns came in it felt like she had no one.When Fig finds a message in a bottle which Adaine had thrown from the shore of Fallinel perhaps they both find someone.
Relationships: Adaine Abernant & Aelwyn Abernant, Adaine Abernant/Fig Faeth, Figueroth Faeth & Sandralynn Faeth, Figueroth Faeth & The Bad Kids
Comments: 347
Kudos: 110





	1. Alone in a Tranquil Hell

**Author's Note:**

> And thus begins the angst.
> 
> I’m gonna be honest I spent more time staring blankly at the screen than I did writing this chapter so at this point I’m not sure if it’s good or the worst thing ever written but I’ve put too much energy in to not post it, but I might delete it later.
> 
> Adaine is supposed to be a few years younger than she is in Freshman Year.
> 
> Also, eight chapters is the rough estimate but tbh I might abandon it half way through or write like so many more chapters, it’s really up in the air.

Laying on the warm sand Adaine was barely aware of the waves slowly lapping up against her feet, looking up into the cloudless orange sky of the beach she felt, more than ever before, very very alone. 

Being here on the deserted beach, with absolutely zero evidence of civilisation wasn’t the loneliness she felt, no it was a much deeper emptiness she was feeling; for the vast majority of her short life she had been aware that she didn’t feel  _ right  _ with her family; that was the best way she’d been able to describe it, and she knew that it was horrible to feel like that because of course her parents had never done anything  _ bad  _ to her, and even Aelwyn was never overly malicious but something just felt… off.

She had come to the conclusion that she was broken, it was the only explanation as clearly if she wasn’t she wouldn’t feel so… empty. She still hadn’t really been sure how to describe what she was feeling except in vague terms which never seemed to accurately encapsulate her various, confusing emotions.

But today she had finally realised what she felt; loneliness. It still didn’t make sense because it wasn’t like her family left her by herself or anything so she didn’t have a reason to feel lonely, she just knew that she did.

Coming home from school Adaine had been walking a quite away behind a couple of older girls; seeing as they were headed in the direction of the Abernant home and away from the town in which most of the students lived in Adaine had guessed that the blonde girl on the left was Aelwyn but she hadn’t recognised the girl with frizzy black hair walking hand in hand with her sister. 

Despite seeing her sister interact with quite a few friends over the years Adaine had never seen Aelwyn look so comfortable with any of her friends; from what she could see Adaine would say that her sister had actually appeared to be kind of happy: her body was relaxed and she had seemed to laugh a couple of times. In addition Adaine couldn’t remember seeing Aelwyn even standing very close to her friends let alone holding hands with them.

Adaine wouldn’t have been overeager to catch up with her sister anyway, the only reason she would being to not get home after her which would annoy her parents, but with Aelwyn looking so at ease she had had even less desire to interrupt her walk home, it was nice to see her happy; Adaine always seemed to do something which made her angry.

When the pair had reached the gates which stood in front of the Abernant mansion they stopped and, as Adaine drew closer, they had seemed to be saying bye; when Adaine was about halfway to them Aelwyn’s friend and kissed her sister on the cheek, when she pulled away Aelwyn had been beaming uncontrollably and had watched, still grinning , her friend walk away, turning to wave a couple of time before she had gone round a corner and out of sight.

After her friend had disappeared Aelwyn had turned to walk through the gates but seeing movement in the corner of her eye she had turned and seen Adaine walking towards her, in an instant her beaming face had grown pale and she had hastened up towards the house, not sparing another look at her sister.

Adaine, completely confused as to why Aelwyn appeared so freaked out, had proceeded up to the house and headed up to her room to start on her homework; if she started on the large pile straight away she might have time to do some reading before she went to bed.

But it hadn’t been five minutes after she arrived in her room, carefully folding her school uniform and pulling on an almost identical outfit except without the markings of her school, before Aelwyn had burst in through the door without knocking, in one of her restrained rages which she usually slipped into when Adaine had done something wrong.

“I’m not sure what you  _ think _ you saw out there but if you ever tell  _ anyone  _ about it then I will make you wish that you were never born, do you understand me little sister?” Aelwyn had menaced through gritted teeth, towering over Adaine who had cowered before her sister’s anger.

“I didn’t see anything!” She had protested in a small voice, and she had been genuinely confused about her sister’s threat.

“Oh of course not!” Aelwyn had mocked her.

“It’s not like you were itching to tell mother and father about it as soon as you could at all is it? It’s not like you were relishing the chance of having something over me for once in your wretched life, like you were so happy that you could make them hate me so much that they might actually like you more than me.

I bet you were so excited about ruining my life so you could feel better about the fact they like me more than you weren’t you?”

As Aelwyn had talked it seemed to Adaine like her sister was breaking down in front of her, as much as her voice rising into a scream had terrified the younger girl Adaine couldn’t help but feel the urge to give her sister a hug: her stoic, ever present, mask cracking like a porcelain doll dropped to the floor and the young girl felt guilty; Adaine had really not meant to hurt her sister, it had been an accident.

“I’m sorry.” Adaine hadn’t been sure what she was apologising for but had just known that she should.

Aelwyn’s face had hardened again into an unreadable facade and she had stormed out of Adaine’s room leaving the girl confused, sad and guilty.

It was in dwelling on these emotions that Adaine had had a sudden realisation; as she struggled to understand the situation she felt a familiar urge; the urge to talk to someone about what she was feeling however, as always, there was no one she could think to talk to. Aelwyn was obviously out, and she didn’t want to bother her parents with this.

That’s when it had hit her, she was lonely; every time she talked or interacted with someone she had to perform some part so they wouldn’t dislike her, it didn’t come easy to her like it did to Aelwyn who could make all of their parents friends like her. Adaine didn’t have someone she could be… Adaine around, no one she found she could have easy conversation with, she didn’t have a friendship like the one Aelwyn had with that black haired girl where they could make each other laugh without trying.

Her bedroom really hadn’t felt like the best place to think about all this so she’d slipped out her window and walked down to the beach which was only a brief walk from the Abernant manor.

So here she was, laying on the sandy beach, feeling the sea lap at her toes as she stared into the darkening sky, looking towards the setting sun she gazed at the horizon longingly, the world behind her, her family, her school, all of Fallinel felt so cold and empty but out there seemed to be an open, endless world where she could be herself and not have to worry about how people saw her.

_ Was it true?  _ She thought, did her parents love Aelwyn more than her? She knew that they were always nicer to her older sister but that was because Adaine kept messing things up, right? Or was she so much of a disappointment that her parents had decided not to waste energy on caring about her as much as they cared about Aelwyn?

No matter how much she tried to convince herself otherwise Adaine could only come to the conclusion that there was no one in her life who cared about her.

Then an idea struck her. Jogging back to the manor Adaine climbed into her room’s window then quietly snuck into her father’s study, opening a draw on his desk she found what she was looking for, many sets of sending stones; taking an unremarkable pair she darted back put the room, going down to the large kitchens she found an empty brown glass bottle in a bin and after a bit of searching managed to find a suitable cork.

Running back to her room Adaine grabbed a pen and a scrap of paper, writing out a note which she rolled up and shoved inside the bottle with one of the sending stones before jamming the cork into the top of bottle and hurrying out back into the dark night, when she got down to the beach she ran into the waves; not caring about her clothes as they were drenched before hurling the bottle out as far as she could.

If there was no one who she could talk to in Fallinel then she’d find one somewhere else. Adaine stood as the waves crashed into her, watching as the tiny bobbing shape of the bottle eventually disappeared into the darkness, floating in the direction of the last few rays of sunlight.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed; feedback is appreciated as always.
> 
> Just FYI sending stones are not gonna work how they do in DND


	2. Hiding from their Hatred

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, this is like the darkest thing I’ve written so, please be aware of the fact that this chapter includes self-harm.
> 
> So I rewrote part of the first chapter but honestly I don’t think it’s too bad having reread it; so this is going pretty good.
> 
> The angst continues.
> 
> And did I write these chapters so that the sun was in the direction of the other person because I’m soft? Absolutely, I have no regrets.

Despite being only a dull pain the ache that Fig felt throbbing from her skull seemed to consume her whole mind; she couldn’t focus on anything else. It was a cruel reminder of what she was. 

Not that she needed one, the ugly lumps on her head always stared back at her from any mirror or window, following her no matter how much she tried to cover them up, they had recently grown to the point that her hair could no longer cover them and they threatened to tear any tops when she pulled them on or off, she had even gone for weeks without washing her hair to avoid touching them.

But worse than all the inconvenience of her disfigurement, worse than the pain, worse than all her ripped tops; was the looks she saw her parents give her, their eyes felt like knives to her stomach.

As soon as she knew something was wrong she went to her parents; believing wholeheartedly that they at least wouldn’t make her go through this alone, she’d been so scared but knew her parents would help her. Then the arguments had begun.

Fig had barely even seen her parents angry at each other but only a few hours after she had gone to them and shown them the deformities growing on her skull the screaming matches had started; filling the house with echoing yells; Fig had taken to sitting in the dark attic with headphones on, blaring loud metal music to try and drawn out the din she’d caused.

After that first day Gilear had still lived with them for a while, sleeping on the sofa and the look of loathing in his eyes when he looked at Fig made her feel sick with shame, made the ache from her head burn. Even after those first few, horrid days when Gilear’s anger had cooled slightly and the hate in his eyes had departed he still didn’t look at her like he did, he didn’t look at her with love or even affection, he didn’t look at her like she was his daughter.

Somehow seeing how her mom looked at her hurt Fig almost as much; it was as if Sandra Lynn could only see the abominations on her head, could only see her own mistakes, looking at her daughter like she was merely a physical manifestation of her failure.

So Fig had hidden from her parents gaze, not acknowledging them whenever they knocked on her door, which was rarely, she had thrown away her brightly cloured clothes which felt far more cheerful than she did, replacing her tight tops which tore when she pulled them on with looser t-shirts.

She had started wearing makeup and playing music which made her mom look at her with anger rather than shake; she did things like smoke and drink so Sandra Lynn would yell at her instead of leaving an awkward silence hanging between them.

After her parents had been so cruel about her changes she hadn’t held out much hope for her elitist cheerleader friends being anymore accepting but their laughs, their insults still cut her to the bone, still made her cry in the dark of her room until her throat was dry and sore.

The general population of Elmville wasn’t much better; despite the fairly diverse population there weren’t many Tieflings and wherever she went she drew suspicious looks or just blatant stares.

So usually she spent her time during the day locked in her attic room to avoid her mom and then clambered out her window at night to go to a concert at the Black Pit where she could usually escape any judgemental attention in the loud dark club. In the early hours of the morning she would return home, not bothering to sneak in; just going in through the front door and almost immediately being dragged into a huge argument which was the closest Fig could get to having an actual conversation with Sandra Lynn.

Other nights when she couldn’t face being around other people she did what she was doing tonight, she went to the beach. She had loved going to the beach, loved all the people and the heat, loved building sandcastles and watching them get destroyed by the incoming tide and now it felt like the closest thing to her old life; even her home was different now that Gilear had left and her mom was always on edge.

The beach was still the same even though it looked slightly different in the dark, sitting here; listening to the waves lap against the sand and staring up at the stars, was one of the few times she could forget the hideous things on her skull.

But tonight the almost constant pain was a bit more searing than it usually was and it was inescapable, the only thing she could think about, she had been hurling rocks into the sea before the pain had interrupted her and now she just had a rock in her hand she was playing with.

A stray lock of hair had drifted into her face and she lazily brushed it back, her hand making the briefest contact with her right horn and sending an agonising shot of pain through her body.

For some reason that minute instant of pain broke something deep inside Fig, something which had been pushed past its limits by every rejection, every giggle, every harsh look, every shame filled glance, every ripped top and every other shitty thing which had happened to her over the past couple of weeks.

With a sudden, uncontrollable anger Fig grabbed each of her horns in her hands and yanked as hard as she could, praying; begging to any God or devil ever created or imagined that these awful things would just be gone; that it had all been a huge mistake, that everything could go back to the way it was.

But of course it couldn’t.

Even as Fig began screaming in anguish and agony she kept pulling on her horns, tugging on them with all her might. When they wouldn’t budge she began frantically, mindlessly scratching at the skin around them, trying to dig them out of her skull, ignoring the pain, ignoring the futility, ignoring the streams of blood which had begun streaming down her forehead.

With tears and snot mingling with blood running down her face Fig, in a last, hopeless act of furious desperation, grabbed up the rock she had been playing with in both hands and smashed it into her forehead, just at the base of her horns.

Again.

And Again.

She kept savagely smashing her head into the blood soaked rock until it was too wet for her hands to grip it and she collapsed onto her side, hugging herself into a ball as violent sobs of agony and despair racked her body.

Hours later she awoke to the first rays of light cresting over the horizon of the sea, the warm orange light hurting her eyes slightly as she blinked awake, reaching up she found that her self inflicted wounds had stopped bleeding but the are around them was still tender; feeling the rest of her face she found it coated in dried blood which had also dripped down onto her chest.

With a sigh she pulled herself up, her body aching like she had run a marathon. Fig thought she should probably head home, but she had no desire to get yelled out this morning; all she wanted to do was go to bed and sleep forever. 

Stripping off her clothes she stepped into the cold water, walking far enough out so the sea came up to her stomach then began scooping water up to wash away the worst of the blood. When she felt like she’d got the majority of it Fig moved closer to the shore and sat down, letting the frigid water lap against her. 

Looking around she saw that the beach was completely deserted. She was alone. She’d never felt alone, not like how she’d felt since her horns came in. She truly had no one.

As Fig sat in the cold water she was nearly blinded as the morning sunlight reflected brightly off an object bobbing in the water, standing up and walking to it she picked up the glass bottle, inside of which she could see a rolled up piece of paper and a stone.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed... well not enjoyed cause this is some super dark stuff but I hope that you didn’t hate reading it.
> 
> If someone could come up with a decent title for this thing please tell me.
> 
> Comments are really appreciated.
> 
> Ok, I’m gonna write some fluff now cause this made me sad.
> 
> A few hours later and I’m honestly not too sure if I like how dark this chapter was, if anyone has any thoughts on that please let me know.


	3. I dreamt of you before I knew you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s been a while since the last chapter, been having a hard time making myself to write recently.
> 
> Originally this was gonna be the first chapter of them talking but, like, dialogue takes a lot of effort and I’m tired so youse get a weird dream sequence, sidenote I don’t think I’ve ever written a sequence before, pretty fun.
> 
> The next chapter should have some character interaction but who knows at this point?

_ “Adaine.” _

_ The elf looked around her in the endless dark, whirling around desperately for a look at the figure which she could only ever make out as a dark outline, darker than the boundless void which surrounded her, from the corner of her eye. _

_ “Adaine” _

_ Again the low voice echoed around the darkness, seeming to emanate from everywhere at once before cutting out and returning the blackness to the dead silence. _

_ Without Adaine seeing anything change the darkness had morphed and she found herself waist deep in freezing water, looking up she was met with a long well shaft at the top of which, with disinterested looks on their faces stood her parents. _

_ As the frigid water began to rise Adaine shrieked in fear, clawing desperately at the side of the Well shaft; screaming, begging, pleading for her parents to help her but to her dismay no sound came from her mouth, no matter how hard she tried to yell out nothing came past her lips and her parents looked down at her struggles passively. _

_ “Adaine.” The voice again, louder now; echoing up deep and strong from beneath the water. It was somehow comforting and warming, she no longer felt the icy water’s sting; without thinking Adaine dove her head underneath. _

_ For a few moments there was nothing but deafening silence, blood pounding in Adaine’s ears. Then she broke the surface of the water to be met with an overwhelming onslaught of noise, crashes of thunder and the brutal attack of rain upon the waves of the storm churned sea which extended endlessly in all directions. _

_ “Adaine!” Turning to the shout Adaine saw a small boat just behind her, grabbing a hold of the side she dragged herself part of the way out of the water with a scream of exertion; almost falling back when she saw that the boat was occupied by a black silhouette, but there was something about it which made her feel like she could trust it. She opened her mouth to ask for help, but before she could make a sound the figure grabbed her and pulled her onto the boat, embracing her in a warm hug. _

_ The next moment Adaine was almost blinded by the sunlight and she found herself clinging with all her strength to the rim of gargantuan teacup, as soon as she was stable she nearly fell back into the steaming tea as the cup was raised up by something. Something which turned out to be Arianwen Abernant who flicked her daughter from the rim of the cup with as much interest as someone would swat a fly. _

_ Crashing heavily onto her side Adaine looked around her surroundings and found herself in an impossibly large version of her mother’s study, either that or she truly was the size of a fly. Surveying the room from what appeared to be a low tea table next to a wingback armchair Adaine watched in confusion as a cat which was also her sister chased a rat across the huge room. It wasn’t a cat with Aelwyn’s features or Aelwyn with fur but more like she could see both the cat and Aelwyn at the same time and knew that it was one in the same. _

_ The rat made a dart to the fireplace and suddenly it was snapped up by the cat’s jaws who carried it with pride over to Arianwen; when she dropped it down in front of her Adaine could see that the rat was also Aelwyn in the same way as the cat, except when she looked at the cat she saw an angry Aelwyn, the Aelwyn she was most familiar with, the perfect daughter Aelwyn, and when she looked at the rat she saw Aelwyn in her few moments of vulnerability, she saw Aelwyn laughing with her girlfriend. _

_ Arianwen affectionately scratched the cat behind the ear while looking with disgust at the rat. _

_ “Adaine.” The voice returned, clearer and less remote, Adaine found herself following the voice to a tiny door which was built into the spine of a book resting on the table. Opening it she went through it and found herself in her Father’s office, Angwyn sitting imperiously behind his huge oak desk: exactly like she’d seen him a thousand times except now his face was gone, no eyes or eyebrows, no mouth, no nose, no ears. Just skin. _

_ Adaine took a step towards her father, then another, and another, until she was running towards the desk but she couldn’t seem to get any closer, no matter how many steps she took she found herself not one step closer. _

_ “Adaine?” The voice sounded like it came from her shoulder, clear and beautiful like a dancing candle in the dark or a warm blanket in winter, filling her completely and making her feel whole.  _

_ Turning around Adaine found herself facing her front door upon which someone was knocking urgently, she reached out to the handle, turning it and swinging the door open... _

Adaine woke with a start, shooting up into a sitting position, gasping as her mind raced with thoughts. After a few moments she managed to get her breathing under control, with a groan she rubbed her eyes and looked at her clock. It was still early in the morning, she collapsed back down onto her back. 

When she couldn’t stop her mind racing she reached over to her bedside table and picked up the necklace she’d worn everyday for years, allowing the string to run through her fingers as she played with the sending stone.

After all these years she knew that it was highly unlikely that someone would ever find the matching stone, but something about the one she’d kept comforted her, it was the possibility that, maybe someday, she’d hear a voice from it she supposed.

Or perhaps it served as a promise. A promise that one day she’d find a proper family.

Adaine sat there in silence and the dark for what felt like hours before she moved to put the necklace down again, just as she was about to let go of it she received a shock so great she almost screamed.

A small and nervous voice filled her head.

“Adaine?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, I really hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Any comments or feedback is really appreciated.
> 
> Also thank you so much to Rowan12628 for helping me get this work back on track after my plans fell apart by me ignoring my plan.


	4. I heard your voice in the dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a lot longer than I had hoped it would, sorry about that; I’ve never written two characters meeting for the first time before and apparently it’s super difficult, so I ended up writing three different versions and then just kinda shoving them together, so it might not be great but oh well.
> 
> And yes, I’m already up to having twenty chapters planned because I have no self control or sense of my own abilities.

Adaine dropped her sending stone with a start, it bounced off her bedside table and landed on the floor, rolling under her bed; frantically Adaine scrambled to follow it, practically diving under her bed, reaching with blind hands until she felt the cold stone beneath her finger tips, not even stopping to get out from her cramped location she spoke into the stone, still half unbelieving that she had, in fact, heard the voice call her name, the voice which had somehow followed her out of her dream.

“Hello?”

Fig could have cried when she heard the breathless, shocked voice in her head, instead she let out a laugh which bordered on the manic, the tension in her chest which had been there for weeks loosened slightly as she allowed herself to laugh for the first time in what felt like forever.

“I… I found your bottle,” Fig found herself grinning uncontrollably, hugging her legs to her chest, “I really didn’t think anyone would answer, I just… I… I just…” 

Fig trailed off, pressing the stone to her forehead, mouth moving as she searched for words which could suitably describe her feelings while she stared out at the sea.

“I really didn’t think anyone would ever find it, it’s been years.” Adaine’s voice was filled with as much speechless excitement as Fig was sure hers was.

“I thought it was probably at the bottom of the sea.” Adaine wasn’t entirely sure that she’d meant to think that or send it, her thoughts were whirling around her brain, how could she have dreamt about the voice which was currently filling her head.

“No, it got here.” Fig grinned, she really wasn’t sure why she couldn’t stop doing that, in the excitement of the morning it hadn’t fully dawned on her that the few sentences that this girl had spoken to her was the closest thing that she’d had to a conversation in weeks, except perhaps the occasional screaming match with her mom.

“Where is ’here’?”

“Oh, Solace.” Fig laughed before adding quickly, “And I’m Fig.”

“Hi Fig; it is… an absolute pleasure to meet you.”

“Same here, I…” Fig trailed off before laughing again.

“I really don’t know what to say.”

“Neither do I.” Adaine was speechless, she had long ago given up hope that anyone would find her message let alone respond to it but here she was: on her stomach underneath her bed, clutching the stone so hard her knuckles were white, so scared was she that if it fell from her hands she’d never hear the voice again.

“You’d think I would after so long.” she added in amusement, awkwardly shuffling her way back out from under her bed before straightening up and on impulse walking to her window, staring out over the orange sea in the direction of Solace, a place which everybody had told her was inhabited entirely by unintelligent savages… but then they said that about everywhere.

“How long ago was it?”

“About three years ago.” Adaine sighed slightly.

“It feels like yesterday.”

Fig sat silently for a few moments, gazing across the sea toward the rising sun, three years; what were the odds it would wash up at the exact moment for her to find it?

“Why did you send it?” Fig’s mind was spinning, she’d gone from such a low, empty point to being overwhelmed with a sense of something she could best describe as relief and now she couldn’t think of much to say so asked the first thing that popped into her head.

“I…” Adaine hesitated before continuing, she had never actually talked about her feelings with anyone and for a moment she wasn’t sure if she could start now, but then she remembered the mellifluous sound of the voice in her dream; and felt again the same calm surety that made her confident in trusting this person.

“I just felt so alone. My family isn’t particularly… affectionate and I decided to try and find someone somewhere else.

I kinda gave up on it years ago, but I kept the stone just in case I guess, just kinda hoping y’know?” Actually admitting that out loud gave Adaine a sense of release of sorts.

For a few moments Fig was silent and Adaine felt the familiar panic rise up in her chest.

_ Had she gone too personal too quickly? _

_ Did admitting that make her seem pathetic? _

Her spiral was cut off by Fig speaking up again, however Adaine could tell that what she was saying was very difficult to verbalise, her tone had slowed and she spoke with less speed and excitement, like she was revealing a disgusting secret.

“My parents are shit too.” Fig took a deep breath before continuing, although she knew what she was saying was true thinking about it still hurt.

“They hate me.”

“I’m sorry.” Adaine replied, hoping her voice didn’t sound as awkward as her words felt, apparently in vain.

“I wouldn’t know how to answer that either.” Fig snorted ruefully, one hand absently circling the base of her horns which still stung from her blows.

“And don’t be, it’s my fault.” Adaine’s heart stopped slightly at that, the hopelessness she heard in this girl’s voice mirrored what she’d felt for so much of her life, that the fact that her parents didn’t seem to care about her was due to her own shortcomings.

“That’s not true.”

“How would you know? You don’t even know me.” Fig said with a sad laugh.

“No,” Adaine answered carefully, trying to think of what words she’d like to hear on bad days, “but you seem like a good person, and I’m sure that if anyone hates you then that’s on them not you.”

Fig laughed again, although it wasn’t the same as her previous, despondent one.

“I’ve spoken like, five sentences to you; how could I ‘seem like a good person’?”

“I’m a good judge of character.” Adaine responded, thinking that maybe saying that she’d heard her voice in a dream just moments before might freak her out.

“Thanks.” It felt an insufficient reply, Fig’s heart had twinged pleasantly when Adaine had said that she seemed like a good person, it was the first nice thing anyone had said to her since her horns came in.

“I’m sure your parents are idiots as well.” She added after a few moments of silence, casually picking up a rock with her left hand and chucking it out to land with a splash a few yards away, she felt her breath hitch slightly when she heard Adaine release a clear, genuine pearl of laughter.

“Yeah, they are… but to be honest they don’t hate me, they really don’t care enough about me to have a positive or negative perception of me.” Adaine heard a creak somewhere in the house and in the following silence she became aware of how loud her voice had been.

“Hey, Fig?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you give me five minutes to run down to the beach, I just don’t want to wake anyone up.”

“Yeah, sure; where are you anyway?”

“Fallinel.”

“I’ve heard everyone there are elitist snobs.” Fig said jokingly.

“Well I’ve heard that all Solacians are uncultured brutes.”

“That’s actually fairly accurate.” Fig replied, making Adaine laugh again.

“I’ll be back in five minutes.”

“Cool.” Fig grinned, staring out across the sea as the sun rose steadily into the sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed.
> 
> Hopefully the next chapter shouldn’t be too long but I’m honestly not sure, we’ll see.
> 
> Feedback is, as always, really appreciated.


	5. So, why are you alone on the beach in the middle of the night?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so yes I’m already up to having twenty four chapters planned, so I hope you are ready for this work to never be finished because I keep making it longer.
> 
> Also, this was supposed to be a short chapter, like a couple of hundred words but apparently not.

“So,” Adaine broke the comfortable silence which she and Fig had fallen into after a few minutes of chatting when she’d arrived on the beach; each of them content to sit and know the other was there, “what were you doing at the beach this early in the morning?”

“I like the beach… good memories y’know?” Fig looked down the sand, remembering rocks she’d used to climb on and places where she’d built sandcastles as a child.

_ Not really.  _ Adaine thought to herself, her family had never done things like go out to the beach, or anything family-y.

“Yeah… but why this early?”

“I don’t really like being around people right now, or, like, they don’t really want me around.” Fig shifted uncomfortably, fingers tapping on her leg.

“Why not?”

“I’m…”  _ a tiefling _ . But Fig couldn’t bring herself to say that, couldn’t face the idea that Adaine might drop the stone and hate her like everyone else did.

“I’m not really sure.”

Adaine could tell that Fig wasn’t saying something but knew from experience how painful it could be to have someone interrogate you on something you weren’t ready to talk about and so didn’t follow it up.

“So what do you do when you’re not hanging out at the beach at night?”

“I go to clubs a lot-“

“Clubs? Like book clubs?” 

“No,” Fig chuckled, “Like music, drinks, dancing that kind of thing?”

“So… like a party?”

“No, well kinda; think of it like a party but it’s every night, always in the same building, and it’s not to celebrate anything, and you pay for your drinks. Do you not have clubs in Fallinel?”

“We’re not exactly big on parties, I guess the closest thing to them would be banquets; I’ve only been to a couple and for an event which is completely based around eating and drinking they are exceptionally dull, but there is music and dancing.”

“What kind of music? I’m guessing not metal?”

“No, I’m not really sure what that is, it’s always very slow and very sad.”

“Oh, metal is… y’know, I have absolutely no idea how to describe metal; I’d have to play some for you.”

“What instrument do you play?” Adaine asked, intrigued.

“I play bass; which, again, I’m really not sure how to describe. Do you play any instruments?”

“Not really, we all have to learn the violin and piano in school but I was never really good at them, I was never allowed to practice at home because it annoyed my parents… not that they ever had a problem when Aelwyn practiced.” Adaine added that last part ruefully.

“What was that?”

“Oh, nothing; just that they never had a problem with it when my sister practiced… that’s just how it always goes to be honest, they never have any problems with Aelwyn but if I do the same as her then they get angry at me.” Adaine realised she was gripping her sending stone very tightly and relaxed her grip slightly.

“That sucks.” Fig replied sympathetically.

“Aelwyn’s actually the reason I sent the bottle.”

“How come?”

“Well, the day I sent it I saw her kissing her girlfriend; she freaked out because she thought that I was going to tell our parents and she yelled at me, a lot. Somehow it just kinda made me realise how alone I was, I really didn’t understand why she was angry at me, I didn’t even know it was her girlfriend, I just thought it was a friend.”

“You saw two girls kissing and thought they were friends?” Fig was slightly incredulous.

“Shut up.” Adaine laughed. 

“We don’t don’t get told that homosexuality exists, I didn’t realise it was a thing someone could be until a year or so after that.”

“How did you find out?”

“I had a errr dream.” Adaine didn’t feel like going into detail about her weird prophetic dreams, certainly not the one in which she was marrying a woman.

“A dream? I don- ohhhhh, I get you.” Fig inflected the last three words suggestively.

“No, not like that!” Adaine felt herself blush but she grinned despite her embarrassment.

“It just started me thinking.”

“Mmmkay.” Fig dropped her insinuating tone before she continued.

“But didn’t you say your parents let her do whatever she wants wouldn’t they be ok with this?”

“They don’t let her do whatever she wants, as long as she does what they want they act like whatever she does is exactly what they wanted her to do.” Adaine sighed before continuing.

“And Fallinel is  _ very _ traditional, if you do something against the traditions then you’re considered less of an elf, especially if you go against the whole ‘man and woman’ thing, so my parents definitely wouldn’t accept her, they’d ignore it until it was unavoidable though.”

“That’s awful.”

“Hmm. What’s it like in Solace? In terms of homosexuality?”

“It’s… complicated. A very large proportion of the population worship Sol and they hate gay people, some bullshit about falling short of the grace of the sun or something, then a lot of the elves are kinda dicks about it as well but most of the other people are chill.”

“That sounds nice.” Adaine said wistfully, hugging her knees to her chest.

“I do feel sorry for Aelwyn; she’s a complete bitch most of the time but I get how scared she must feel.”

“Yeah…” Fig spoke without thinking, lost in her thoughts, “it really sucks when people hate you for something that’s not your fault, that you didn’t choose.”

“I suppose it must.” Adaine replied awkwardly.

Fig was silent for a few moments before realising how Adaine interpreted her words.

“Oh, no I’m not- well I am- well kinda- I think, I’m not sure; that’s a whole thing, I’m not talking about that right now though.” Fig wasn’t worried about people thinking, or rather knowing, she wasn’t straight; she’d known she’d been attracted to women for a while but had never told anyone and would’ve preferred the first time to be slightly less awkward, or at the very least she’d like it to be intentional.

“It’s… a whole thing for me too.” 

Again they lapsed into a slightly awkward silence, not in the sense that they felt uncomfortable, just that they weren’t sure what they should say next, until Fig spoke again, changing the subject.

“Do you guys play Bloodrush in Fallinel?”

“No, I’m assuming that’s a sport? We do things like fencing, archery, falconry that kind of thing.”

“What the hell is falconry?”

“Well, basically it’s where you train a falcon to hunt a bird.”

“Why?”

“I really don’t know, but it’s like a whole thing here, there’s different types of falcon you can have depending on your social status and everything.”

“That sounds really dumb but at the same time super cool.” Fig remarked making Adaine laugh.

“So, do you play Bloodrush?”

“No I’m, or was I guess, a cheerleader.”

“A what leader?”

“Cheerleader, we do chants and different acrobatic things to get crowds hyped up at Bloodrush games.”

“It’s so boring you need people to keep people excited?”

“No, it just gets the crowd engaged y’know? So they don’t just sit there.”

“So they  _ don’t  _ sit and watch the thing they’re there to see?”

“No, like, it makes sense ok?”

“Sure.”

“Shut up.”

An hour or so later the sun was climbing higher in the sky and, Fig knew she should be getting home, she was exhausted and she liked making her mom angry, not scared.

“I should be heading home.” she said with a resigned sigh.

“Same.” Adaine said, sounding equally disappointed, but she knew her parents would be furious if they found her out this early.

“But… this was really… nice or whatever.” Fig said awkwardly.

“Yeah, it was.” Adaine replied with a smile playing around her lips.

“Would… would you maybe want to do this again at some point?”

“I’d love to, similar time tomorrow?”

“That would be great.”

“I’ll talk to you then Fig.”

“Bye Adaine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> I just want to thank everyone who’s commented or left kudos on this work, it seriously means the world to me.


	6. How could someone hate you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I writing more fluff than planned to make the angst hit harder or do I just like writing fluff? Who knows? Not me, I have no clue.
> 
> Ok, so six chapters was originally the planned length of this work but honestly I’m super glad it’s already expanded to nearly five times that cause I’m really loving writing this, and a big part of that is all the comments I’m getting; again they mean so much to me, thank you all so much.

“Why do your parents hate you?” 

Every night since Fig had first spoken into the sending stone a few weeks ago she and Adaine had talked; both of them finding the other easy to speak to in a way they didn’t have in the rest of their lives but Fig fell silent after Adaine broke the unspoken agreement they had to not discuss their families, it wasn’t that Fig was angry Adaine had asked or anything, she just really didn’t know how to respond.

“I’m sorry, that just slipped out.” Adaine said, hurriedly.

“It’s just that… you seem really awesome and I just don’t get how anyone could hate you; you don’t have to answer, I’m sorry.” 

“No, no it’s fine, I’m just… I really don’t know how to answer, I’ve never really talked to anyone about it… I haven’t really talked to anyone about anything since…”

“Since?”

“Well, it’s been a while.” Fig felt her breath quicken slightly as she narrowly missed revealing her horns, she wriggled her toes in the cool water and the sensation helped her to calm down slightly. She couldn’t explain why she always came to the beach when they talked, she knew that it had no impact on how clear they were, it was just nice looking out to sea and knowing that there was someone miles away looking back.

“My parents,” Fig began with a sigh, “they were always  _ so  _ in love, or at least I thought so; they were always happy to be around each other, they were always laughing at inside jokes and things like that, when I was a kid they seemed like what the perfect couple should be like you know?”

Fig buried her face in her hands, holding the stone in her right hand.

“Then, a few weeks ago, we found out that… my dad… isn’t my dad.” Fig fell silent.

“Gods, Fig… I’m so sorry, I can’t even imagine how hard that’s been for you.”

“And since then my D- Gilear, he’s looked at me like I’m not his daughter, like I’m my mom’s mistake, like… like I’m a freak.” Fig hadn’t even noticed the angry streams of tears which had begun rolling down her face until her body was wracked by a huge sob.

“Fig…”

“And worse than that, my mom looks at me like that too.” Fig was getting angrier now, the pain and hurt which had burrowed itself deep into her was coming to the surface and she felt her blood boil and her skin burn in pure rage at the unfairness, the rejection, everything.

“Like I’m a freak, a monster, something which isn’t a person, isn’t her daughter, is just a reminder of her fuck up. And it’s not fair!” Figs arms were shaking in rage, her hands clenched in painfully tight fists, she stood up from the sand and stamped heavily up and down, nails digging into her arms sending shots of sharp pain through her body.

“It’s her fucking fault! She doesn’t get to hate me for her fucking mistake! She’s the reason I’m a freak! She’s the reason everybody hates me! It’s her fault not mine! She’s the one who fucked up! She’s the one who fucked a demon!” With a scream of anger and pent up frustration and without thinking Fig hurled the stone clenched in her hand into the shadows of the beach.

As she felt the adrenaline leave her body Fig collapsed heavily to her knees, face wet with tears and heart pounding, it wasn’t until a few moments of silence had passed that she realised what she’d done.

“Adaine!” She screamed out, diving desperately in the direction that she’d thrown the stone; frantically grabbing handfuls of sand, ignoring the dust which she inadvertently threw into her own face, feverishly searching for the small stone which, in the dark of the morning was lost in shadow.

  
  
  


“Fig? Fig!” Adaine yelled desperately, as the other girl’s voice cut out suddenly, she stood up and ran a couple of paces into the sea, her chest clenched tight in fear and helplessness, heart pounding as she stared out across the endless miles of ocean.

“Fig, please…” she let out in a barely audible whisper, she had no clue what was happening other than the fact that Fig had been spiralling and then- nothing.

The silence was deafening, after Fig’s voice had disappeared the only sound which Adaine registered was her heart pounding in her ears.

Adaine could have had a heart attack when she heard Fig’s voice ring through her mind again, instead she laughed in relief.

“I’m sorry… I… I don’t know, I was just so angry and I threw it.”

“Fig- I’m really sorry, I shouldn’t have brought your parents up; I should’ve known how much it must hurt.”

“How could you?” Fig laughed, still feeling completely drained and exhausted. 

“Honestly… that felt kinda good… I’ve never actually talked about that with anyone and, it was… nice I guess.” They both sat in relieved kind of silence for a few moments before Adaine broke it.

“Fig… you’re not a freak and you’re definitely not a monster.” Fig snorted in response.

“I’m serious!” Adaine insisted.

“You don’t know me Adaine.” Suddenly the emptier beach felt a lot lonelier to Fig.

“Yes, I do. I know that you play bass, that you like metal music, that you love loud clubs because your scared that everyone judges you, I know that your parents are idiots, and I know that you were a cheerleader and that you used to go to the beach with your parents and you like it there because it hasn’t changed since then… And I know that you’re incredibly strong.” Adaine stopped, surprised at her own loquaciousness; when Fig didn’t say anything she carried on.

“And you’re not a monster, because… because you're the first person who’s ever been nice to me.”

“Thanks.” Fig said, awkwardly really unsure of how to act in the face of such honest kindness.

“No problem.” Adaine replied sheepishly.

“You’re really rad too.” After a while of the two sitting in silence they again lapsed into easy conversation as if they hadn’t strayed to such a real conversation, chatting about things like food instead.

“What the hell is ‘startreedew’?”

“Well what the hell is ‘milkshake’?”

“It’s milk, but, like, shaked, and flavoured, kinda. It’s in the name!”

“Well So is startreedew it’s dew collected from the foot of star trees!”

“Oh that makes perfect sense!”

Earlier than usual Fig called it a night, or morning, she was exhausted from her outburst and just wanted to collapse into bed, after they said their goodbyes Adaine spoke up.

“Seriously Fig, your parents are idiots, and you deserve so much better.”

When Fig unlocked and opened the door to her house she was met, as usual, by her mom wearing a disapproving look; before Sandra Lynn could say anything.

“Mom, seriously I’m super exhausted can we just, like, not have a screaming match just now?” With that she pushed past her mother, ignoring her indignant remarks and climbed up to her attic bedroom, crashing down onto her bed and dreaming of a melodious voice.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed.
> 
> The next chapter might take a while, my brain is being a bit stupid right now so I might take a bit of a break from writing.
> 
> Feedback is, as always, appreciated


	7. The Bluecap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “I’ll take a break from writing for a bit” They says
> 
> “I’ve been having a hard time make myself write recently so I’ll not make myself for a few days” They says
> 
> Dream sequence! The first dream chapter I did just cause I didn’t have the energy to do a normal chapter but it was honestly super fun so I’ve got a few more planned, and I feel like it makes sense cause of Adaine’s Oracular abilities.

_ Opening her eyes Adaine found herself in a city, surrounded on all sides by towering concrete buildings, the grey constructions all perfectly uniform, the exact same height, the same number of windows, all exactly the same. The road she was standing on was perfectly uniform, running down between opposing sets of towers, intersecting with identical streets all of which were flanked by equally dull pavements. _

_ After taking in the grey city for a moment, which was standing below a cloudy, dismal sky, Adaine was struck by something; the noise. Or rather lack of it: the city was so deathly quiet that it felt almost suffocating, there was no sound at all: no footsteps, no voices, no birds, no wind, nothing just… silence.  _

_ Without realising it Adaine had begun to walk down the road, her own footsteps as silent as the concrete forest which surrounded her, she had no concept of how far or for how long she walked; everything was so identical that she had no clue where she’d started from, adding to her disorientation was the fact that the city didn’t seem to have any borders and appeared to be built on perfectly level ground; the street she was walking along seemed to go on forever, fading out into the distance. _

_ Coming to a junction of two intersecting roads Adaine stopped, turning around and taking in her surroundings she could see no distinguishing feature anywhere, and now she wasn’t even entirely certain which direction she’d come from or where she’d been walking. _

_ “Hello?” It seemed hard to make any sound and it came out as barely a whisper, Adaine locked her lips nervously before trying again. _

_ “Hello?” She repeated, this time louder; the sound echoing across the empty streets; the concrete buildings spitting her voice back at her derisively. _

_ The endless city amplified her voice tenfold, hurling the word back at Adaine deafeningly, assaulting her ears mercilessly; overwhelmed by the ringing storm of noise Adaine clapped her hands over ears and squeezed her eyes shut tightly, collapsing to the ground as her head was bombarded by the echoes. _

_ Eventually the noise died down and Adaine lowered her hands and opened her ears, she fell back in shock at what was floating in front of her; a small, flickering blue flame which bobbed a few feet off the ground. Climbing to her feet Adaine inspected the flame which rose with her so it remained level with her eyes.  _

_ After her initial fright Adaine calmed slightly, the flame seeming unthreatening, in fact quite the opposite of threatening, it gave off a calming aura. Adaine extended her hand out to touch it but just before she did it moved, floating serenely down the street in front of her, without hesitation Adaine began following it; there didn’t really seem to be much else to do. _

_ They moved in a straight line for a while, the endless buildings rolling past them without objection; suddenly the blue flame turned down onto another road; as it did two things happened; firstly it began to rain a miserable, grey drizzle, the second thing was that Adaine caught movement out the corner of her eye, turning back the way she’d come she saw, far in the distance, a dark shape. _

_ Something about it made Adaine’s skin crawl and she hurried after the blue flame.  _

_ Again Adaine lost track of time as she followed her guide through the grey, damp streets; it seemed to turn and double back at random, leading her through identical rows of towers. Somehow the very meagre rain began to pool on the roads, quickly coming up a few inches deep. _

_ Whenever the flame took them along a long straight stretch Adaine could see the dark shape, coming closer and closer each time. _

_ By the time they stopped Adaine was wading through knee deep water which made her fall behind slightly, the flame was dancing in front of a building which was identical to the hundreds they passed, when Adaine caught up to it the flame floated through a grey steel door which opened noiselessly. _

_ The interior of the building was impossibly dark, it was so black that Adaine wasn’t entirely sure that she wasn’t looking at a solid black wall; the darkness made her hesitate for the first time since she started following the flame, unsure if she wished to enter.  _

_ Looking over her shoulder Adaine saw the dark shape, closer than ever now; she could make out that it strode through the deepening water on four legs but beyond that she could make out no feature, the thing which made Adaine’s skin prick in fear was how it moved; somehow it’s motions seemed… intelligent, not like an animal, but like a person. _

_ That made her mind up, she stepped into the dark room; pulling the door closed behind her; almost screaming when she heard it click shut behind her, the first noise she’d heard since arriving in the city apart from her own voice. _

_ For a few moments Adaine could see nothing, the darkness was so all consuming it made no different if she had her eyes open or closed, then the blue flame appeared again; despite it’s brightness it only illuminated a small area, Adaine still couldn’t see her own feet; but at least she could see something. _

_ Again the flame led her forwards, taking her across the room, which seemed impossibly large to be contained in the building Adaine had seen from outside, to a flight of stairs, taking her up them slowly as she carefully felt for each step with her foot before putting her weight on it, when they got to the next floor the flame led her to the opposite corner to another flight of stairs, this repeated again and again with nothing much changing. _

_ It wasn’t until the fourth floor that things worsened. Instead of silence Adaine could make out, barely audible creaks, like weight shifting on floorboards at the edges of the room and, even quieter, whispering voices. _

_ A few floors later the creaks had grown louder and the whispers had been joined by low moans and distant wails, the floor after that she began to be able to make out flitting shadows just outside of her eyeshot. _

_ It wasn’t long before the sounds had become blood curdling screams of abject horror and shrieks of pain, the creaks had become running footsteps which echoed around her, the shadows turning into horrifying faces which would appear then vanish in an instant, worse than that was the feeling of spectral hands grabbing at her ankles and arms. _

_ Despite her overwhelming desire to run, the flame continued at its own, steady pace and Adaine dared not leave its light, fearing what else was lurking in the dark, waiting for her. _

_ After one, particularly long, staircase Adaine found herself in a corridor, she could tell by how close the walls felt, at the end of the hall was a very faint square of light, the outline of a door, for a moment Adaine felt her spirits soar, then die almost entirely as the blue flame disappeared and suddenly the door seemed a lot further away. _

_ Immediately Adaine heard screams and yells of delight, accompanied by running footsteps behind her; instinctively she ran towards the door, trying to shut off the cacophony of noise from behind her, pushing herself to run faster than she could but still the sounds drew closer and closer, then, within reach of the door Adaine felt something grab her leg and she fell, crashing hard into the ground and then they were on her. _

_ She was lost in a sea of shadowy figures, grabbing her, holding her, dragging her back down the corridor, ignoring Adaine’s desperate screams. _

_ Cutting over the din of the shadows there came a deep, ringing noise; a very deep musical note somehow amplified to a deafening boom. _

_ As the noise died down Adaine realised that the hollering of the shadows had stopped as well, the hands restraining her had disappeared too, leaving her free to stand to her feet, shakily. _

_ Leaning on the wall for support, her ribs burning from the tackle, Adaine walked to the door at the end of the corridor, pushing the door open and almost collapsing as she crossed the threshold. _

_ What created Adaine was a completely insane view; she was on what she guessed was the roof of one of the huge concrete buildings except she couldn’t see any other buildings, what was more surprising however was the water. _

_ The water which had risen and was now only a few feet below her, the grey water mirroring the sky which was still spitting out drips of water. It stretched in every direction as far as Adaine could see. Sitting down on the barrier around the roof Adaine stared out across the perfectly flat water, no clue what to do. _

_ With a thundering crash the door was thrown off its hinges and hurled with a splash into the water. Stepping through the empty doorway was the black shapeless shape, its appearance filled Adaine with such an intense panic that she dove, without thinking, into the grey water. _

  
  


_ Immediately after hitting the surface of the water Adaine found herself standing in the middle of a field filled with lavender, warm, heavy rain pouring down upon her quickly drenching her as completely as the dive would’ve done. _

_ “Adaine!?” Someone called her, shouting over the sound of the downpour. Turning around Adaine felt her breath leave her, facing her was the most beautiful person she’d seen in her entire life, dressed in a T-shirt and leather jacket, with boots and torn jeans, her hair in a side plait, rain dripping down her horns onto her forehead. _

_ “Fig?” Adaine asked, speechlessly. _

_ “We should probably be heading back now.” Fig laughed, pointing up at the sky, Adaine just blinked repeatedly. _

_ “C’mon.” Fig grinned, extending her hand out, Adaine took it without hesitation. _

Adaine shot up in bed, covered in sweat and gasping for air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Ok, seriously this time, it might be a while before I update again.
> 
> Any comments are super nice to receive!


	8. The Exam Pt. 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so somehow I wrote more when I’m not trying to write than when I actually plan on writing which somehow makes sense I guess?
> 
> I’m not gonna question it, this is the most I’ve written in ages.

“So you have to do a test to get in?” Fig queried.

“Yep.” Adaine replied, trying to keep her anxiety under control.

“What happens if you don’t get in? Do you just not go to school?”

“I wish.” Adaine snorted.

“If you fail you get sent to ‘remedial school’ which is where they stick everyone who they say is worthless just to keep them out of the way.”

“Well, you’ll ace it; you're the smartest person I know.” Fig affirmed confidently.

“Hmm.”

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s just that… I can do it, I know that I can take the test and do well but… in a practice one I had a panic attack so I only managed to do about a third of the paper, and I really don’t see how I’m supposed to stop that happening again.”

“You wouldn’t be able to have another go?”

“No, if you mess up you mess up, it doesn’t matter why or what happened, if you fail that’s it.” Adaine fell silent.

“What will your parents do if you f- if you don’t do well.”

“They’ll disown me.”

“Really?”

“Really,” Adaine let out a mirthless laugh, “if I ever do anything less than perfectly I get punished, even if I do something perfectly they never acknowledge it, they just act like that’s what’s expected and I shouldn’t want praise for it.”

“Man,” Fig replied after a few moments of silence, “your parents really suck.” Something about the way she said it, so matter-of-factly, made Adaine giggle and then laugh loudly, the stress about the exam momentarily receding from her mind for the first time in days. 

It had been around a week since her last dream and it was still stuck in her mind; mostly she could only remember flashes of random, sometimes interconnected scenes which she couldn’t make head nor tail of, but she could remember every detail of being alone in the grey city, of the dark, horrifying building and the field of lavender where she had seen Fig.

Adaine hoped that the Solacian girl had put her oddness down to stress for the exam, and, partly, that was true but there was no doubt that seeing Fig for the first time had… confused her slightly; she couldn’t exactly describe it, perhaps it was her relaxed appearance in opposition to the enforced dignity of Fallinel, but whatever it was for a few days Adaine had felt slightly more tense when speaking to Fig, but she relaxed slightly as she laughed.

“Yeah, they do.”

“And I know that it doesn't really help,” Fig continued, “y’know compared to your family being awful and getting stuck in a different school but… even if you do really shit on the exam I’ll still be here for you.”

“Thanks.” Adaine smiled.

“It does help.”

“I’m glad.”

They fell into a comfortable silence, both girls playing with their respective stones as they stared out to sea.

“So you don't have any kind of exam to get into high school?” Adaine broke the quiet after a while.

“No, well, there is a school called Hudol, it’s where all the rich kids go and most of the people who are from Fallinel: you have to take exams to get in there but you don’t have to for the other two main ones which are Aguefort and Mumple.”

“Which one are you going to?”

“Aguefort.” Fig replied with a sigh.

“Basically everyone from my middle school is going there and I’ve barely seen any of them since… since my parents split.”

“But,” Adaine asked quizzically, “won’t your friends, I don’t know, be nice about everything?”

“I don’t think I have friends anymore to be honest.” Fig answered unhappily, one hand instinctively going to her horns like it always did when she was thinking about them.

“Why not?”

“People in Solace don’t really like… people like me.” Fig was glad when Adaine didn’t press the subject, clearly picking up on her unwillingness to discuss it, she really wasn’t ready to talk about her horns which everyone seemed to think marked her as evil, and she certainly wasn’t ready to admit to basically the closest thing she had to a friend that she was the spawn of a devil.

“It’s gonna make finding an adventuring party fun.” Fig laughed humourlessly.

“An adventuring party?”

“Yeah, Aguefort is an adventuring academy, so like, it trains the students to be adventures and go on quests and stuff-“

“Sounds a lot more interesting than school here.”

“What, reading endless books so you can make sparks dance around isn’t super exciting?” Fig asked in mock shock making Adaine snort.

“And basically you choose an adventuring party the first day and you train with them and do quests and things like that.”

“What happens if you can’t find a party?”

“You get placed in a random one, usually the people no one else wants to team up with.”

“And you have to stick with them for the next four years?”

“Yep.”

“That’s almost as bad as having one test decide your entire future, so what’re you going to do for a party?”

“I’m thinking I’ll get sent to detention and just join up with all the badass kids there.”

“That’s a great plan,” Adaine said, voice dripping with sarcasm, “find the people least likely to care about anything and immediately agree to spend the next four years working together.”

“Well it’s the best plan I’ve got, cause I don’t know anyone and most people are gonna be grouped off already and I can’t just find one in class, cause they’ll all be the same class; detention I could get a diverse skill set.”

“I doubt you’d get a wizard.”

“Yeah, but who really needs wizards?” Fig teased.

“Oh fuck you!” Adaine shot back, laughing loudly again.

“Seriously, I bet you’d be a great party member.” Fig said after recovering from her own laughter.

“Do you think if I ask nicely my parents will let me move to a different continent to a country they hate to enroll in a school they’d consider barbaric and train to be an uncouth vagabond?”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine if you explain that you’d be staying with someone you met by talking on a stolen sending stone.”

“I think the only thing they’d pay attention to is the fact that I stole something years ago.”

“Well if you lead with that then the rest of it will seem more reasonable and they’ll say ok.”

“Honestly, I’d probably have better luck if I tried to swim there.”

“You could just float, based on the bottle you’d end up here in three years so you could still make senior year.”

They stayed talking for a few hours before Adaine decided to head to bed, hopefully she’d have a dreamless night and she might not fall asleep halfway through the exam.

“Hey Adaine?” Fig called just as Adaine was about to put the stone back in her pocket.

“Yeah?”

“When is the exam?”

“In about… eight and a half hours, why?”

“Oh no reason, goodnight.”

“Night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Feedback is always super appreciated, I always love getting comments.


	9. The Exam Pt.2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I was going to post this chapter a few days ago but then my brain wasn’t letting me for some reason, but it’s here now!

“Answer every question,” Arianwyn continued to drone off the list of rules for the exam as Adaine felt her palms moisten, the closed paper staring up at her menacingly, of course she’d get her mother as an invigilator, because if she didn’t that would be far too easy wouldn’t it?

Somehow, despite not straying from her customary, disinterested tone, Arianwyn managed to sound menacing, managed to make every warning directed at her daughter, each word biting into Adaine. Each time her mother passed her Adaine felt her skin crawl and had the building urge to vomit. She wasn’t sure she’d get passed the first page of the paper before she fully lost control and freaked out.

“And before you begin,” the stern professor added after she finished reading off the instructions, “I’ll remind you that anything under eighty percent is deemed to be… unacceptable.” 

She enunciated each syllable in a threatening manner, looking around the hall, her face not betraying any emotion but her stare sent shivers down Adaine’s spine and she gulped, her throat feeling dry.

Adaine was slightly comforted by seeing some other faces wearing expressions of panic which mirrored her own. However, most of her fellow pupils wore smug expressions which showed supreme confidence in their own abilities.

“You may now begin.” Arianwyn’s voice carried easily through the large hall from the front and the next second came the sound of hundreds of pages being piled open. Adaine flicked open her own paper and stubbornly ignored her own rising panic.

Thankfully Arianwyn appeared to be sticking to the few rows of desks at the back of the hall for now which meant that at least for a bit Adaine could have a bit of peace on that front, she was never more thankful for her alphabetically early surname than in that moment, usually it was the worst, trying to work with everyone able to see you and not being able to see anyone except to your sides but right now it meant she could get started without her mother hanging over her, hopefully by the time she got to the front Adaine would have been able to become too engrossed in the exam to notice her.

But, unfortunately it was a feeble hope; the closer Arianwyn’s ringing footsteps came to her desk the more difficult Adaine found it to focus; it didn’t help that the first section was summoning which had always been one of her weaker subjects, however she got through most of it, managing to get into a clearer mindset for a while, almost forgetting about her mother drawing closer.

Then she was faced with an extended writing question: ‘Explain how the Council’s seventeenth resolution on the restriction of dangerous summoning affected the membership of the Stormcaller’s guild.”

Adaine reread the question several times and couldn’t see how she was meant to even begin answering this one; the Council’s seventeenth resolution on the restriction of dangerous summoning was an extremely minor piece of legislation which was only meant to clarify an earlier resolution, and it certainly had no bearing on the membership of a guild which had nothing to do with summoning. Perhaps it meant a different resolution? Maybe the one it amended?

But neither the twelfth resolution, nor any other could really be argued to affect the Stormcallers, even in an indirect way. Adaine’s panic grew again, if it had been any other invigilator she’d have asked for clarification but she would rather not write anything than admit to her mother she was unsure of it.

Adaine sat and stared at the paper, mind blank as she scrambled for a solution, stealing furtive looks around she could see that no one else seemed to be having any difficulty, all writing away without difficulty.

Just as Adaine felt her chest tighten anxiously her mother, still about halfway across the hall cleared her throat imperiously.

“Attention.” She called in a clear voice, immediately everyone turned to look at her.

“For question…” she bent down to read a student's paper, “thirty-two, it should say the Astrologer’s guild.”

_ Thank the Gods. _ Adaine breathed a sigh of relief, that made a lot more sense.

Due to an ambiguously worded passage in the Council’s twelfth resolution on the restriction of dangerous summoning, many wizards who had wished to pursue outlawed practices found a loophole which allowed them to continue summoning certain entities as long as they claimed that they were to help them with astrology: after several incidents of demons being summoned by ‘astrologists’ the council had to reword the twelfth resolution, after that was done in the seventeenth resolution the membership of the Astrologer’s guild plummeted.

Despite the clarification Adaine still felt unnerved, in her panicked state she failed to realise that if no one had asked about the question before that meant she’d been the first person to reach it and instead had the overwhelming fear that she’d wasted too much time on trying to answer the question and was now behind.

Frantically she wrote the explanation which answered the question, her handwriting becoming sloppy in her haste; hand tensing and gripping the pen hard. Her panic continued to grow and, only a few questions later she found herself stuck again, except now on a divinatory section which she should be able to do without difficulty.

No matter how many times she read the question she wasn’t able to take in any of the words, it didn’t help that she could hear her mother’s footsteps coming closer and closer, each thud making her neck prick. 

After about five minutes of staring unseeingly at the paper Adaine was still no clearer on what she was supposed to be doing, her lips were dry and she could feel her arms shaking as she tried desperately to contain her anxiety. Despite her best efforts, however, she knew she was on the verge of an anxiety attack, running her hands through her hair she tried to calm herself, or at least resist the urge to scream.

The next second she nearly screamed.

“Adaine?” Came a soft voice, it took Adaine a few moments to realise it came from her mind.

_ Fig? _ She thought in confusion.

“If you can hear me cough once, if you want me to stop: cough twice.” Adaine coughed once, as quietly as possible so as to not draw attention to herself.

“I knew that you wear the stone as a necklace but I wanted to make sure.” Fig explained.

“Ok, if you’re feeling panicked, take a deep breath in… and now let it out, breathe in… and out.” As stupid as it felt Adaine did as she was told, and it helped, a little.

“You’ve got this, and if you don’t it’s not the end of the world ok? It might not be great but it’s not the end of the world; and you’re not getting rid of me even if you get everything wrong.”

Adaine couldn’t resist a slight smile tugging at her lips as her breathing returned to normal.

“If you’re stuck on a question guess ‘B’ and move on, I don't care if it’s multiple choice or not, just write B.”

Adaine bit her tongue to stop herself giggling.

“I’ll be here for the rest of the exam, if you need some encouragement then cough once, and if you want me to stop then cough twice.”

_ Stop what? _

“I have no clue if this’ll work, cough once if you can hear this:”

For a few moments Adaine couldn’t hear anything and figure that whatever Fig had tried to do it had failed; then her jaw dropped. In her head she could hear a sound; a deep musical note which resonated beautifully before dying down to nothing. The exact same sound she’d heard in her dream when she was saved from the shadow monsters. 

Snapping herself out of her reverie she coughed once.

“Oh, great,” Fig said, audibly slightly shocked, “honestly, did not think that would work, Ok… here we go.”

With that deep notes began playing through Adaine’s head, melding together perfectly into a beautiful melody. After only a few moments of the music Adaine felt herself calm fully and looked back at her paper, immediately fully comprehending the question she’d been struggling with and writing down her answer in a much more relaxed manner than her hasty scribbles she’d put down for previous questions.

By the time Arianwyn reached her Adaine was fully engrossed in the exam and the music, finding the questions not much of a challenge, she was so absorbed that she didn’t notice her mother at all until the professor leant down over her table, something she hadn’t done for other students, and stared at her paper intently. Arianwyn gave her daughter an unreadable look before standing and walking away.

Adaine coughed once and immediately the music stopped and Fig spoke up again.

“You’ve got this Adaine, your parents are idiots and if they reject you for doing badly then they don’t deserve you.”

Adaine bent her head and beamed uncontrollably down at her paper, the panic which had shot up in her when her mother leaned over her disappearing almost immediately. After a moment or two of silence the music picked up again.

At a couple of times when Adaine felt her anxiety spike slightly she coughed and was calmed down by Fig’s reassuring voice. Adaine finished her exam very early, then checked and double checked everything, when she was done with that she sat back and enjoyed the music.

When the exam was over and the students stood up and walked out Adaine bent down under the pretence of tying her shoe and pulled out her stone to whisper into it.

“I’m done thanks, I’ll try and talk as soon as possible.”

With that she stood back up and walked to the door, hoping to pass her mother without an interaction but unfortunately for her Arianwyn pulled her out of the crowd leaving the hall.

“You know Adaine, it’s very unprofessional to take an exam while unwell.” When Adaine looked at her in confusion Arianwyn elaborated.

“You coughed several times, I hope you shall avoid this in future.” With that she walked out the hall, leaving Adaine gaping in disbelief at her back.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> As always I love getting comments so any feedback is welcome


	10. The Exam Pt.3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, for some reason I've been trying to post this chapter for a couple of days but my brain hasn't been letting me; sorry about the wait.

“Seriously?” Fig asked, disbelievingly

“Seriously.” Adaine confirmed

“‘You know Adaine, it’s very unprofessional to take an exam while unwell.’” She quoted her mother’s words, mimicking her haughty tone before groaning in annoyance.

“Thanks again for… y’know, the music and everything.” She added awkwardly.

“It really wasn’t anything.” Fig dismissed Adaine’s thanks easily, focusing on fiddling with her bass as she lay in bed with her legs up on the wall.

“No, it really was I… I don’t think I could’ve made it through that without- if you hadn’t helped.” Adaine played with the corner of a page of the book she had open in front of her on the table tucked away in a corner of the school library, everyone had to stay for a couple of hours after the exam finished so that the hall could be inspected for any sign of magic having been used in the past few hours.

Adaine had very rarely allowed herself to be vulnerable in front of other people, and had never had anyone actually help her when she did; now that someone had it felt weird, like she owed something; to have Fig be so casual about it was slightly unnerving.

“I’m glad it helped.” Fig smiled.

“I know how important doing well on that exam is to you.”

“I wish there was some way that I could return the favour.”

“I mean, I’d love to hear you play the violin or piano at some point, but seriously, don’t worry about it, I’m happy to do it, it’s what friends are for.” They both fell silent for a few seconds, that was the first time either of them had verbally acknowledged the other as a friend, it wasn’t that they didn’t think of each other as friends but Adaine had never really had anyone she would’ve described as a friend and Fig’s friends had all abandoned her at the hardest point of her life, so they were both hesitant to use the word.

“I’m really glad that we’re friends.” Adaine responded, breaking the silence.

“Yeah… me too.”

“And, I think my mother has a violin somewhere so I can play at some point, I’ll warn you: I’m not very good.”

“Well now I have to hear.”

At that moment the bell sounded, letting the students know they were free to go as the inspectors hadn’t found anything which hinted at cheating.

“They’re letting us out now, talk later?”

“Yeah- but, I mean, if you want you could walk and talk? I’m not doing anything right now so I’m fine to keep talking.”

“That sounds nice, I’ll have to stop talking for a few minutes until I get out of school but yeah, that sounds good.”

It didn’t take long for Adaine to escape from the school and to get away from the crowd of other students who were also leaving, thankfully most of them going the opposite to her, heading to the more residential part of town.

“So, like, what grade do you think you’ll get?” 

“Grade?” Asked Adaine, confused.

“You know, on your exam? Like A, B et cetera y’know?” Prompted Fig.

“We just… pass or fail.” Adaine answered awkwardly.

“Oh, ok, seems a bit intense… How much do you need to pass? Sixty? Something like that?”

“Eighty.”

“Eighty!?” Fig exclaimed.

“Well you need eighty to pass but anything below eighty-five is ‘deemed to be unacceptable’” Adaine imitated her mother’s haughty tone again.

“So what does that mean?”

“If you get more than eighty but not eighty-five then you can get into the good school but basically you get treated as a cleaner as well as studying because you should count yourself lucky to be there.”

“Damn, that’s fucked.”

“Yep.”

“But like, it can’t be that hard to get eighty percent though, right? Like the questions must be easy so most people can do it.”

“Only about thirty percent of people get in on the first try.”

“Thirty? Fucking hells… wait, first try? I thought you said you only had one shot at it?”

“Yeah, well it’s weird, after you’ve gone through the bad school you can opt to retake it, so in four years you get another try but very few people take it.”

“What happens to the people who don’t make it into the good school?”

“They end up in the army, or labourers, stuff like that, stuff that ‘proper elves’ are too good for.”

“And seventy percent of you end up in that kinda thing?”

“Yeah. How do you think we have such a powerful army for such a small population?”

“I don’t know, I figured magic.”

“Well yeah, that too; but mostly because so many of us get put there and the council has no issue letting them die because they think that’s the only way that they can serve Fallinel.”

“I really didn’t think that this exam was such a big deal.”

“It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not, it’s fucked up, you shouldn’t have to deal with that.”

“Yeah well… I think I passed though.” Adaine said as she came into view of the Abernant home.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I had a bit of trouble on the first bit, summoning isn’t my strong spot but I did ok, and I think I got the rest of it.” Adaine slowed her walking speed, not overly excited about getting home.

“That’s great!”

“Yeah…” Adaine responded, despondently.

“What’s wrong?”

“It just… I’ve been stressed about this stupid thing since I started this school, actually since Aelwyn started here, and now that I’ve done it… it just feels so dumb. I did years of work, so I can do years more work, so that I can do more work until I can’t work anymore. It just feels unfair you know? I’ve been pushing myself to get past this for as long as I can remember and now that it’s over I feel… empty. Like it wasn’t worth any of it, no matter how well I do, it won’t make a difference. 

My whole life I’ve been told that I should  _ want  _ this, that I should  _ want  _ to get into high school and make my family proud. And for so long I tricked myself into thinking that it  _ is  _ what I wanted. But… it’s not what I want.” Adaine sat down on a bench beside a small grassy patch, the scent of lavender filling her nostrils.

“What  _ do  _ you want?” Fig asked, quietly.

“...I…” Adaine searched her mind, what did she want? It didn’t feel like she was trying to work out the answer, more like she already knew it and she was reaching for it, like she was trying to remember it.

“Adaine?”

“I don’t know… I want to  _ want _ , y’know? I want the passion other people have, I want to have a goal beyond spending my life working for the Council, I want to… live.” It was a very vague answer and she didn’t feel like it was the one she was looking for.

“That’s the best I can verbalise it right now,” Adaine added after a few moments of silence with a slight chuckle, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, it sometimes helps to just… talk. I wish I could help more.”

“You have, you’ve helped me so much.”

“I just played the bass a bit.” Fig said dismissively.

“No, not that; I mean, yeah that helped a lot but, like… just being there, being there as a person I can talk to, and listen to and... just kinda… existing I guess.” Adaine kicked her feet on the ground uncomfortably before chuckling awkwardly again.

“I’m sorry, that probably sounds incredibly dumb.”

“No! No, I… I feel the same, it's just really nice to have someone to talk to, even if I’ve never met them; it just makes things feel less… boring in the rest of everything.”

They lapsed into silence until Adaine spoke again.

“My Dad’s probably wondering where I am, I should go.” Adaine said, resignedly, looking up the street to the gates of the Abernant mansion.

“Yeah, sure, no worries.” Fig replied, slightly flustered from all the talk about emotions.

“But I can talk in a few hours? I owe you an attempt at a violin solo.” Adaine added hopefully.

“Sounds good.” Fig smiled, after Adaine’s voice stopped coming from the stone Fig still gripped it and sat in silence.

Adaine walked up to her house, past the spot where she had seen her sister being kissed tenderly by her girlfriend, all those years ago. Again, she had the persistent feeling that she had forgotten something and she was trying to remember it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I'm serious this time; it might be a while before I update again, hopefully it shouldn't be too long but we'll see
> 
> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed; feedback and comments are always appreciated.


	11. You're beautiful to me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so originally I was gonna write a short chapter set a few hours after the last one, but I came to the conclusion that I didn’t have enough stuff to put in it so I abandoned to bit I’d already written for about six days or do.
> 
> Then I had the idea to put things I like but couldn’t fit into the work into another work, so I decided to finish the one I’d started off and make it a few hundred words or so.
> 
> Then it became almost two thousand words.
> 
> So yeah, I just shouldn’t try to have plans.

Adaine took a deep breath, and, standing straight backed on the beach as the warm light of evening streaked across the gentle waves of the calm sea, began to play. Soon she found herself lost in the music, her fingers dancing across the slender neck of the violin; instinct alone carrying them to their proper placement, the low; mournful tune one that every elf was required to know intimately from a fairly young age.

The haunting notes carried across the water as Adaine drew her bow across the strings with practiced, fluid motions. Apart from the sound of the violin the evening was silent and Adaine lost track of time, while in reality the piece was maybe ten minutes long it felt like hours; at the same time, however, standing there with no sound other than the music and the waves of the golden sea, she felt almost timeless, she found the thoughts which usually crowded her mind melt away and all that was important was the music and who she was playing it to.

Eventually the last notes faded away, drifting away across the water until there was only the sound of the waves. Adaine stood, unmoving, staring out, not really looking at anything, over the water.

“Adaine…” Fig eventually broke the silence.

“That was beautiful.”

“No, I’ve never been very good at the violin.” Adaine dismissed the praise easily, blushing slightly all the same.

“Adaine, seriously anyone who tells you that you’re bad is deaf.” Fig insisted.

“Thanks.” Adaine said, awkwardly holding the violin.

“Was it your parents?”

“What?”

“Was it your parents who said you were bad?”

“...yeah?”

“Well we’ve already concluded that they’re idiots so their opinion doesn’t matter.” Adaine laughed slightly.

“Thanks.”

“No problem, thanks for playing for me.”

“You’re welcome.” Adaine responded and then they both lapsed into silence as Adaine packed away the violin.

“So when do you think you’ll get your results?” Fig asked, breaking the silence.

“Two weeks.” Adaine answered with a sigh.

“Exactly two weeks?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s actually the day I start at Aguefort.”

“Odd coincidence.”

“Yeah.”

“Are you still going with your terrible plan to find an adventuring party in detention?”

“I’m going with the  _ awesome  _ plan to find an adventuring party in detention.” Fig corrected.

“Oh, I’m sorry; my mistake: your  _ awesome  _ plan to join up with probably the least invested in working people at school.”

“Yep, glad you’re starting to get it.”

“I can see you finding a rogue, or a fighter or barbarian or someone like that but you’re not gonna find a wizard or a cleric or anything like that.”

“Again, no one needs a wizard,” Fig said cheekily, “and also I don’t really want a cleric; they’d probably be Helioic and they’re super homophobic and shit.”

“But don’t you kinda need a healer?”

“It’s school, what’s the worst that could happen? It’s not like anyone actually has to do anything more dangerous than find a book or something.”

“Yeah, I suppose you're right. I’m not sure how long getting my results will take, but I’ll try talking to you as soon as possible.”

“Thanks.” Fig said with a smile before groaning and rubbing her eyes.

“I’m really not looking forward to this, I’m a bard. I don’t need an education, can’t I just skip school and tour the world or something?”

“But don’t bards need to learn how to, you know, bard?”

“I know how to bard!” Fig replied indignantly.

“Besides even if I didn’t then I’d wouldn’t learn at a school, I’d learn out in the world, writing songs and shit; I definitely don’t need to be surrounded by judgmental assholes everyday, that’s gonna really stifle my creative genius.” Fig adopted a grandiose tone; raising her hand in the air before dropping it onto her bed with a groan.

“But doesn’t art come from frustration, or something like that?” 

“I’ve got enough frustration to last a lifetime, I get anymore I’ll be the greatest artist of all time forever, and that just seems unfair to everyone else.” Adaine laughed.

“And clearly the most humble.”

“Well obviously, I’m the most humble person to have ever humbled.”

“I think you’ll find that I’m more humble than you are.” Fig gasped in mock outrage.

“You are nowhere near my level of humility!”

“I am so humble that you cannot even begin to comprehend how humble I am because you’re so proud.”

“You take that back! I have never been proud of anything I’ve ever done!”

“Fig?” Fig started at her mother’s voice calling from outside her room, she had lost track of how loud her voice was getting; forgetting that she wasn’t on the beach as usual.

“Who are you talking to?”

“I’ve got to go, talk in a few minutes.” She hissed into the stone before shoving it under her pillow; it’s not that she was worried about her mom being angry at her about the stone, but she really didn’t feel the need to let Sandra Lynn know anything.

“No one.” She called back.

“I can hear you Fig.” Sandra Lynn stated as she climbed up the ladder staircase into her daughter’s attic room.

“Well if the noise bothers you then you could put in the muffling spell I’ve been asking for for ages.”

“The noise isn’t a problem.” Sandra Lynn replied in an annoyed tone. 

“But-“

“Great!” Fig said, turning up her amp and flicking a string on her base which vibrated loudly around the room.

“I can hear you talking to someone!” Sandra Lynn yelled over the waning sound.

“So first I’m not allowed to talk to my Dad, and now I’m not allowed to talk at all? Got it.” Fig but back, ignoring the look of frustration on her mom’s face as she flopped back onto her bed and turned over so her back was to Sandra Lynn.

“You are allowed to talk to your dad.”

“Oh really?” Fig asked in an over exaggerated tone of excitement, not turning to face her mom.

“I can finally meet my Dad?”

“Your Dad is Gilear, the person who raised you, and loves you.” Fig snorted, deciding to ignore the blatant lie at the end of her mother’s sentence.

“If that meant a damn then there wouldn’t be any problem with you telling which demon you fucked.” Even though she couldn’t see her Fig knew she’d touched a nerve.

“That doesn’t matter.” Sandra Lynn was speaking in a voice which suggested she was barely holding back her anger.

“Why not!?”

“Because it’s none of your business!” Fig rolled over and fixed her mom with a look of determined defiance.

“None of my business.” She snorted derisively as Sandra Lynn’s eyes dropped, and she rolled back over.

“...I was just wondering who you were talking to.”

“Myself.”

“Yourself?”

“Yeah, it gets pretty lonely when you have no friends because everyone hates you ‘cause your mom fucked a demon.”

“Fine.” As Fig heard her mother’s footsteps fade she sat up and hugged her knees to her chest; she sat there for a good half an hour, unmoving, before she unraveled herself. 

Pocketing the stone Fig clambered out her window and nimbly clambered down to the street outside her house before heading off towards the beach.

It was still early, at least relative to how late she was usually here, and there were still a few people dotted around the sand; thankfully, however, it was still fairly easy to locate a lonely spot which she sat down on, staring out to see for a few minutes before reaching into her pocket and bringing her stone out.

“Hi.”

“Hey, What was that about? Are you ok?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. My mom heard me talking to you, then we got in a fight.”

“I’m really sorry Fig.”

“It’s not your fault.” Fig replied, laying back on the sand and looking up at the sky.

“She’s just a bitch.”

“... What… what did you fight about?”

“I don’t even know really… we got onto my dad, like my actual dad, like always but… I was just angry.”

“What did she say about your dad?”

“That it’s none of my business who he is.”

“Oh, Gods… Fig that must suck so much.”

“I’m used to it.” Fig forced a small chuckle.

“You shouldn’t have to be.”

“I know.” Fig fell silent for a moment before continuing.

“It’s just… so unfair: it’s her fault, it’s her fault everyone who sees me hates me, it’s her fault I can’t go anywhere without people staring at me… it’s her fault I don’t want to go to Aguefort because I’m so scared of what people will think when they see me.” As Fig continued her voice began to shake with emotion.

“I’m guessing Solacians aren’t very accepting of Tieflings?” Adaine said after a brief silence.

“What?” Fig almost yelled, shooting up into a sitting position again, looking at the stone in her palm like it might burn her.

“What did you say?” She asked breathlessly when Adaine didn’t answer.

“I… I said: ‘I’m guessing Solacians aren’t very accepting of Tieflings.’” Adaine answered, awkwardly; playing with the clasp on the violin case nervously: she hadn’t meant to say it, it just kinda slipped out.

“What? How…? How did you…?”

“I… I kinda, errrm… saw you?”

“What? How?”

“In a dream.”

“In a dream?” Fig asked, pinching the bridge of her nose as she tried to make sense of what was happening.

“Yeah, since I was a kid I’ve had these… visions, in my dreams and mostly they’re super vague and unhelpful but sometimes…” Adaine shrugged her shoulders.

“When… when did you see me?” Figs heart was pounding in fear, like she was a child caught doing something naughty.

“About a week ago I think.”

“A week…?” Fig was speechless.

“I’m sorry, I guess I should’ve told you earlier, or not told you at all… I understand if you’re annoyed, if you want I’ll go?”

“No! No, please, stay.”

“Ok.”

“I… I… you  _ saw _ me?”

“Yeah.”

“And you don’t hate me?”

“No! I couldn’t hate you Fig.”

“But… but you saw me? And you didn’t think I was a… freak… or hideous?”

“No, I… I thought you were-“ Adaine stopped herself.

“Yeah?” Fig prompted.

“I thought that you were beautiful.” Fig felt like her heart, which had been trying to escape her chest, stopped; then she was grinning and laughing uncontrollably.

“Fig? Are you Ok?” Adaine aske, concerned.

“Yeah, Yeah.” Fig reassured her as she wiped tears away from her cheeks.

“That’s just the first nice thing I’ve heard about how I look in months.”

“Oh, well you’re welcome.” Adaine said awkwardly.

“And,” She added in a more confident voice, “If anyone at school judges you then they’re stupid and if I find out who they are I will float across the ocean and, in three years, make them laugh so much.”

“Is that a threat?”

“Well, I know Tasha’s hideous laughter and I would cast it on them then they’d laugh uncontrollably… it didn’t sound as tough as it did in my head to be honest.” Fig laughed again.

“Thanks Adaine.”

“No problem.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Originally I wasn’t gonna have Adaine reveal she knew Fig was a Tiefling until MUCH later on but it just felt right to have it here, however I would love some feedback on wether or not it fits here.


	12. First Day Pt.1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I haven’t slept in two days and at this point I really have no clue whether or not this chapter is any good, but y’know I might as well post it.

“So,” Adaine said nervously after a fairly long silence, “good luck I guess?”

“Yeah, thanks; good luck with your results… talk later?” Fig replied, her stomach twisting in unwelcome apprehension.

“Of course… you’ve got this Fig.”

“Thanks.” Fig wasn’t entirely sure she believed Adaine.

She placed the stone in her pocket and, with a deep breath, climbed down the ladder staircase from her bedroom; planning to not acknowledge her mom’s presence and just walk past her to catch the bus. She had been thinking about refusing to go and having an argument but after last week she still felt a bit drained. And Adaine was right; the more people she spoke to the less daunting the prospect would become.

“Fig?” Sandra Lynn called her daughter from the kitchen table where she was drinking coffee and finishing the end of a half burned breakfast; Gilear had always been the one to cook, the lack of diplomatic relations with Fallinel made his job as translator one which had very few hours enabling him to stay home a lot of the time.

_ Shit. _ Fig cursed mentally but still turned around to face her mom with an implacable expression; raising her eyebrows, prompting her to continue, but not moving any closer to make the conversation more convenient; hopefully discouraging a drawn out interaction.

“I hope… that today goes well.” Sandra Lynn said awkwardly, forcing what Fig assumed was supposed to be a warm smile but her eyes were still filled with the same, almost guilty, look as she always had when she wasn’t arguing with her daughter, and her body was still stiff.

“Somehow I doubt it.” Fig returned, scratching her right horn pointedly; Sandra Lynn sighing in annoyance and closing her eyes, running one hand through her hair.

“Fig, could you just…?” She trailed off, drinking a swig of coffee before continuing.

“You used to be so polite.” She ended up stating almost wistfully but the clear implication was  _ You used to be so polite and now you irritate me every time we’re in the same room as one another. _

“I wonder what changed.” Fig was honestly pretty proud of how much sarcasm she’d injected into her voice.

“Nothing changed!” Sandra Lynn snapped before composing herself.

“You know, Fig…” she began, searching for the right words, “you act like you didn’t  _ choose _ to change, but you can’t blame your horns for everything; you can’t blame  _ me  _ for everything.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t remember being included in your decision to cheat on your husband and fuck a demon?” Fig was incredulous at her mother who seemed to be trying to take the moral high ground somehow, Fig’s temper raised; she could feel her ears burn with anger at her mom, at how unfair she was being, at how unfair life was being. 

“You know that’s not what I meant! Just because you found out you’re dad isn’t your biological father doesn’t mean you have to act out like this.” Sandra Lynn shot back in a defensive tone.

“If it’s not a big deal then just tell me who my dad is!”

“I can’t!” Sandra Lynn put the coffee mug down on the table heavily.

“Why?”

“It’s… complicated!”

“Why?”

“Fig!” Sandra Lynn shouted, slamming her palm down on the table angrily.

“It’s complicated. That’s all you need to know right now.”

“How is it complicated? You know who my dad is, I don’t, you can tell me. Easy.”

“It’s not that simple!”

“Why!? Why is it not simple? Are you embarrassed about  _ which _ demon you fucked? Why is  _ that  _ the part which is hard to own up to?”

“Why do you always do this?” Sandra Lynn hissed through gritted teeth, not making eye contact with her daughter.

“What? Dare to ask who is the reason I’m alive? I’m so sorry that my desire to know who my Dad is is such an inconvenience to you.”

“Always try and make me angry?”

“Because when you’re angry it’s the only time you don’t look at me like a freak! Because it’s the only time you look at me like a person and not like a mistake.”

“Fig-“

“Who’s my dad Mom?” When Sandra Lynn didn’t respond Fig turned and walked out the door, slamming it behind her, running to catch the bus which stopped just down the street from her house.

When she slumped down in a seat in the corner of the bus she allowed hot, angry tears to escape from her eyes, rolling down her cheeks bitterly. She played with the sending stone in her pocket. She really needed to talk to Adaine, to vent… but that wasn’t fair. Adaine had her own problems today, she didn’t need to hear Fig’s.

Instead Fig pulled a locket out from under her “Chaotic Organisation of Ordered Anarchy” band T-shirt and snapped it open, pulling open then folded piece of old paper, reading the faded words.

“Hi, I don’t know if anyone will ever find this; but my name is Adaine and I feel  _ so  _ alone. I’m hoping that this bottle will find someone who I can be friends with. Or just talk to. If you find this, I’ve included a sending stone linked to mine, please, use it, if you want.”

Fig had read and reread this note so many times since she’d found the bottle that the folds were beginning to tear, she ran her finger over the delicately penned words. She didn’t know why she kept reading it. It gave her such a feeling of… safety she supposed. This note was the first thing Adaine had said to her. She had no clue where she’d be if she hadn’t found the bottle and this note was a reminder that she didn’t have to worry about that.

Fig looked over the note over and over as the bus continued on, by the time she hopped off at the stop near Aguefort her anger and hurt had subsided, and she felt calmer. Not calm, but calmer.

As she walked in through the big doors of the school she ignored the few judgemental stares of some students who eyed her horns suspiciously. A week ago they might’ve hurt her, the looks and the whispers. But not now.

_ I thought you were beautiful. _ That memory brought a smile to Figs face in spite of her anxieties. She didn’t care what other people thought of her. Still, the attention was unwelcome.

Thankfully a few moments later everyone’s attention was gripped as a dignified half elf in a letter man jacket walked up to a huge Orc who seemed to be carrying a small tin flower which was dwarfed by his large hands. Fig was passing the two of them when the shorter suddenly punched the orc in the face, whipping his head back; with a dramatic twirl he turned to the shocked corridor.

“I am Fabian Seacaster, son of Bill Seacaster and I am here to be awesome.” Fig was about to surge forward and attack this ‘Fabian Seacaster’ but was beaten to it when the orc, who had been being comforted by a ginger human girl in a tie dye shirt, straightened up and grabbed Fabian’s shoulder, turning him around and planting a satisfying blow to his chin, lifting the half elf almost a foot into the air to land heavily on his ass, the hoodie clad orc seemed shocked at his own action, standing awkwardly, still with his tin flower as a large Dragonborn in a suit pushed through the crowd of students and grabbed both the brawlers.

Fig slipped away, figuring that now would be the best time to do something which could land her in detention. Without bothering to be sneaky Fig barged into the empty teacher’s lounge and began rifling through the fridge pulling out a Tupperware box containing a translucent steak. Setting the box down on a table Fig opened it and tried to pick the steak up: her hands passing through it. It didn’t feel like moving her hands through air, more like trying to grip water.

Just as Fig was about to abandon the steak and return to searching through the fridge the door of the lounge opened abruptly and the large Dragonborn strode in, seemingly barely fazed by Fig’s presence.

“Ok, immediate detention.” He said in a deep, echoing voice.

“We’re three for three and I haven’t- I’m  _ about  _ to ring the first bell.”

“The crazy thing is; you’re playing right into my hands, welcome to my game: you just did exactly what I wanted you to.” Fig responded, the Vice Principal seemed like a fun person to mess with.

“I don’t know you? Like, this is just baffling.”

“I know, and that’s how I was able to two-step around you so easily.”

“Describe your two-step to me, how have you bamboozled me in this situation? Walk me through it.”

“Alright, So, my plan, all along was to get caught so I’d get sent to detention, and you fell for it.” Fig swung her booted feet up onto the table.

“And what’s with the steak?”

“It’s for ghosts, it’s ghost food. Now, I feel like you’re trying to trick me into thinking that you want to be in detention so I won’t give you detention-“

“I do want detention.”

“Why would you want detention?”

“Well, anybody who’s anybody is in detention, so why wouldn’t I want to be in detention?”

The Dragonborn was silent for a few moments in confusion.

“...So, you’re definitely going to detention-“

“Great.”

“I’m still not entirely clear about whether or not you’re trying to trick me into letting you out of detention-“

“Oh, I am.”

“What?”

“That’s exactly what I was doing.”

“Well, then detention?”

“Great.”

“Get out.” With a smirk Fig left the teacher’s lounge; honestly she’d been hoping to be the first person given detention but Fabian Seacaster and the Orc had been impressive with how fast they got in trouble with the faculty.

Slipping between people Fig allowed herself to be carried by the crowd into a large auditorium which was filling up with Freshman; with surprise she made out the letterman jacket of Fabian, she’d assumed he had to be in a higher year to have the jacket, but apparently not.

As the hubbub of the crowd died down and Fig found a seat fairly close to the back and closer to a fire alarm, she played with the sending stone in her pocket; mulling over what she’d do with the rest of her day until detention. She’d promised Adaine that she’d at least try some of the classes, maybe if she asked nicely she could take lunch lady lessons or something like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Comments are always appreciated.
> 
> I’m sorry that this chapter ended kinda abruptly, I really had no idea how to finish it.


	13. First Day Pt.2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, apparently whenever I plan to write a ‘short chapter’ I end up writing the longest one yet.
> 
> I wanted to do the Bad Kid’s introduction proper justice so it kinda just kept going.
> 
> Now, it’s time for some counselling with a lot of feelings.

“So,” Fig asked, legs up on a table in the almost empty classroom, twirling a guitar pick through her fingers “What did you guys do?” 

Four of the other occupants of the room, who had been sitting in silence as Goldenhoard talked to a well dressed Gnome in hushed tones by the door, turned to her.

“I bore false witness.” The ginger girl who had been comforting the Orc earlier and was sitting at the front of the class, right in front of the teachers class, answered quietly.

“What is that?” Fabian asked, sitting, also with his legs up while drumming his fingers on the table in a bored fashion, at a desk in one of the middle rows, very close to the door.

“Oh, it’s… bad.” The girl said without elaborating, face blushing deeply.

“Ok... well my crime was being too good at sports.” Fabian said in a self important tone.

“Didn’t you punch him?” The girl asked, pointing at the hoodie-clad boy at the back of the classroom.

“Well, yes, technically, but, like; that’s a thing, to punch someone on your first day.” Fabian argued.

“What?” Fig asked, “that's not a thing.”

“That absolutely is a thing.”

“Did you see anyone else punching people for no reason?”

“No, but- I had to punch the toughest guy here.”

“Dude, he offered you a flower.” The goblin dressed in a suit broke in, Fabian falling into muttering to himself.

“Well, I punched him.” The Orc in question said sheepishly.

“Sorry by the way.” He added to Fabian who just looked bitter.

“No, don’t be sorry; it was totally awesome.” Fig insisted.

“So when he does it, it’s ok?” Objected Fabian.

“Yeah, ‘cause he had a reason.”

“I  _ had  _ a reason.”

“What was it?” Fig queried.

“You have to punch the biggest guy to prove you’re tough.”

“So what’s proved when the guy gets back up and fuckin decks you?” Fabian went silent.

“I shouldn’t have got mad.” The boy interjected sheepishly.

“I agree, anger is never the answer.” The girl in a tie-dye shirt added.

“So he should’ve just let him punch him?” The Goblin asked incredulously.

“Helio says to turn the other cheek.”

“Well, I don’t believe in Helio.” The Orc answered, his tone almost guilty.

“What about you?” Fig asked, turning to the Goblin who was sat almost directly in front of her in the front row.

“Oh, I stole a tea bag from Principal Aguefort.” He said dismissively.

“Why?”

“I just… needed it… what did you do?” His tone was suspicious, intriguing Fig, perhaps he was part of a tea thieving ring.

“Oh I’m here ‘cause Dragon dude’s got a crush on me-“

“That is not true!” Bellowed Goldenhoard.

“Mmm? Oh,” Fig looked around at the other occupants of the room, “suuuurrrrrrrreeeee.” 

She then gave an overexaggerated wink before turning back to the other kids. “I was given detention because we were in the teachers lounge, alone, together,  _ not  _ doing anything inappropriate.”

“That is not-“

“Is that not what happened, did we do anything inappropriate?”

“No, but-“

“Exactly.”

“It was the way-“

“I said it completely normally, right guys?”

“Just stop.” Fig smirked at how easy he was to rile up but fell silent anyway.

“Now,” Goldenhoard turned to the rest of the room, “Troublemakers… and Kristen. Troublemaking bothers me, on a deep level, this school can be a dangerous place; students put their lives on the line here and you with your tomfoolery, your jackanapery, and your shenanigans-“

“I’m sorry,” Fig cut in, “are those three separate things, like, are there certain things which fall into each category?” Goldenhoard ignored her.

“-are a liability; it cannot be allowed. Mr Gibbons will handle your disciplinary action while I’m gone.” With that he walked out of the door.

“So,” The Gnome teacher said, hopping up to sit on a desk at the front wall of the classroom, “I heard you discussing what you did, and that’s very good; it’s good to own up to our mistakes and be open about ourselves; but it’s always better if you’re opening up to people we know, so let’s start with telling everyone our full names and our classes shall we? I’m Hylobatidae Gibbons, you can call me Hylo”

“I am Fabian Seacaster, son of Bill Seacaster.” Fabian said proudly, “and I, of course intend to uphold my Papa’s swashbuckling legacy and so I am taking fighter lessons.”

“I’m Gorgug Thistlespring… I’m, err, son of Digby and Wilma Thistlespring; well not biologically but I don’t know my birth parents so… yeah.” Said Gorgug in an unconfident voice, “and I’m a barbarian, because, I guess, I’m good at getting angry and hitting things?”

“My name is Kristen Applebees, nice to meet you all; praise Helio, I’m a Cleric of the God Sol, specifically Helio; I was chosen at a young age to be able to speak to the God of corn.”

_ So, Adaine was wrong about the cleric. _ Fig thought to herself.

“I’m Riz Gukgak, I’ve got business cards-“

“We don’t need to be so official Riz, let yourself relax.”

“Ok, well; I’m a rogue, not to imply that I’m a criminal, I’m on the side of law and order; I’m a private detective.”

“Didn’t you steal some tea?” Fabian asked.

“Yeah, but that was part of a very important criminal organisation.”

“What?”

“I… I’m not at liberty to divulge details of ongoing cases to people not involved in said cases.”

“I’m Fig, I’m a bard, so I really shouldn’t have to go to school, ‘cause, like, name one bard who learned how to bard in school and not in the real world.”

“Laundarent Beno?” Gorgug replied without hesitation.

“Just ‘cause you can play music does  _ not  _ mean you’re a bard, ok? He could play music but he didn’t have the spirit of a bard.”

“Wow, that’s a lot of feelings, and music is a great thing to have feelings about isn’t it guys? And what’s your second name?” Mr Gibbons asked

“I don’t have one.” Fig said shortly, hand going into her pocket.

“How do you not have one?” Kristen asked.

“Well, the name which used to be my surname is the name of some random guy who I have zero connection to so…”

“But, you can’t just  _ not  _ have a surname.” Fabian said.

“Now, now.” Mr Gibbons, raising hands in a calming motion.

“Our Surname is meant to be what connects us with our family, and our family is people who we feel comfortable around; if Fig doesn’t want to use her surname anymore because she no longer feels comfortable with her family that’s fine, however everyone else has opened up and told us their surnames; so, Fig, could you perhaps give us a name which you feel is important, perhaps your mother’s maiden name or an important friends surname?”

_ Telling people your surname isn’t really ‘opening up’ is it?  _ Fig thought to herself.

“Fig…” she thought for a few moments, “Abernant.” She shrugged.

“Ok, well done; now we know who we all are and what we did to get detention; how about we talk about how we’re feeling about what we did?”

“I feel bad, I shouldn’t have got mad; I’m sorry.” Gorgug said.

“Wow, a lot of feelings there, Fabian; is there something you want to say?”

“Yes, the only reason I’m here is because I’m too good for the Bloodrush team.”

“Didn’t you bribe the coach?” Riz asked.

“How do you know about that?”

“I hear things.” Riz answered, cagily.

“Well, Yes, I suppose, to be perfectly honest, certain amounts of gold may, or may not have traded certain palms… but I should’ve gotten on the team anyway.”

“Wow, That is a lot of feelings; but I was actually talking about the incident earlier this morning, do you have anything that you’d like to say to Gorgug?”

“Not that I can think of.”

“Ok, how about explaining why you punched him?”

“I had to prove I was tough, and cool or whatever.”

“I would’ve thought you were cool if you hadn’t punched me.”

“Why?”

“Well, I don’t know, but I think most people are pretty cool if you get to know them even if they do bad things; like I get angry a lot and I break things, but I don’t know if that makes me not cool.” 

“Sorry.” Fabian said in a very low, barely audible voice after a long moment of silence.

“Wow… a lot of feelings there; how about you Kristen?”

“Oh, I’m not bothered; I break rules like  _ all  _ the time; it’s not even a big deal.” Kristen responded in a voice which did little to hide the fact that she was lying.

“Wow, Yeah, y’know ;bearing false witness is a very serious deal, are you sure you wouldn’t be bothered about bearing witness?”

“...Nope.”

“So you’d bear false witness again?”

“Yes…?” Kristen answered, sounding very unsure.

“Wow, well y’know, rebelling like this can be caused by feeling smothered in our life, feeling like we can’t be who we are because of what someone else tells us, do you ever feel like that Kristen?”

“No, of course not, why would I? Helio is all loving and all good, so if he said I couldn’t do something then of course it’d make sense and not be a completely stupid, and obviously I wouldn’t have any problem ignoring parts of me which want to do things which Helio doesn’t like.” Kristen said in a rushed breath, blushing in the following silence.

“Wow, that’s a lot of feelings, lotta feelings, lot of stuff to work through there, Riz; would you like to go now?”

“I mean, I stole a tea bag so I’m not really going to feel guilty about that.”

“Wow, y’know Riz, sometimes it feels like we’re a nice mug of boiling water; and we’re just looking for that one thing that’ll help us get to where we are going, we’re looking for what will take us from water to tea, y’know? You ever feel like that Riz?”

“I’m not sure…?” Riz replied; in a very confused tone.

“Wow, well, something to think about.Fig, if you could go back would you do what you did again?”

“No.”

“Wow, that’s good, it’s good to admit when we make mistakes; how would you have done things differently?”

“I would’ve got something else out the fridge, I saw the ghost steak and I was like, wow, I gotta try that, but knowing that I couldn’t eat it I’d probably go with that yogurt or something.”

“Wow, a lot of feelings, I think a lot of the time we often regret the food we tried to eat but failed and wish we’d gone with the safer option, do you feel like that Fig?”

“Yeah, That’s exactly how I feel.”

“Wow. A lot of feelings.” Mr Gibbons said nodding seriously.

“Now, how's everything at home guys, is everything good?”

“Well I broke my bed again, but my parents are artificers so it’s fine.”

“I’m sorry,” Fabian asked, “but, you broke your bed ‘again’, how many times have you broken?”

“Like… a lot, I guess?”

“How?”

“Well, like my parents are halflings right? So like the biggest bed we can fit in my room is pretty small still and ‘cause I'm a bit bigger than them, I always end up breaking my bed, but like I said they’re artificers so it’s fine.”

“Wow, ok. A lot of the time we feel like we’re too big for somewhere, like we’re being constricted, and when we feel cooped up like that we sometimes act out, do you think that that’s true for you Gorgug?” Gorgug was silent for a few seconds.

“Ye- yeah, I guess so yeah, maybe?”

“Wow.”

“You look sad, are you ok?” Kristen asked Fig who was fiddling with the stone in her pocket, really not prepared for a question which would hit so close to home.

“What? Oh, yeah, I’m good; home’s a bit weird right now.”

“Wow, that’s a lot, do you want to open up about it?”

“No, seriously I’m good; just my parents are getting a divorce so it’s a bit odd, and my dad always used to cook so the food’s got a lot worse.” Fig laughed dismissively.

“Wow, y’know, sometimes we feel like our breakfast is overcooked-“ Fig mentally groaned so loudly that she missed most of what Mr Gibbons was saying.

“-and so that’s why mushrooms taste like cheese sometimes, y’know?”

“Yeah, sure, makes perfect sense.” Mr Gibbons didn’t seem to detect her sarcasm, again nodding like she’d come to some life-altering epiphany.

“Ok, now; we all have people who we trust don’t we? So let’s all go around and say someone who we trust alright? I trust Principal Aguefort to not do anything to hurt me y’know?”

“I’m sorry, but why do we have to do this?” Fig asked in boredom.

“This is all about opening up and revealing parts of ourselves to each other so we can all grow ok?”

“Can’t we just write lines?” Fig groaned.

“Wow, that’s a lot of feelings, y’know sometimes we want to write lines don’t we-“ Fig blocked him out again.

“So we always end up in spider filled caves don’t we?”

“Sure.”

“Ok, now let’s start with you?” Mr Gibbons said, turning to Gorgug.

“Oh, Yeah, well I trust my Mom and Dad to always try and help me I guess.”

“Wow, it’s nice to have that isn’t it? People who are always there for us like that?”

“How about you Fabian?”

“Well, of course I trust my Papa to… to… to make sure I become who I am destined to be.”

“Wow, that’s a lot of feelings there isn’t it; you must feel a lot of expectation on you huh Fabian?”

“Well, Yes, of course but, well, I always deliver so it’s a good thing.”

“Are you ever worried you might not deliver?”

“What? Of course not, I am Fabian Seacaster.” Fabian laughed overly loudly.

“Why would I be worried?”

“Wow. How about you Kristen, who do you trust?”

“I trust Helio.”

“How about someone on this plane?”

“Oh, well I trust my mom and Dad, and my brothers, and pastor Amelia obviously; I trust them all to keep me in Helio’s light.”

“Wow.” Mr Gibbons was silently nodding for a few seconds before turning to Riz.

“I trust my Mom, I know she’ll never give up and she’ll always do the right thing.”

“Wow, having such a dedicated parent must make it stressful to relax sometimes right?”

“No, I’m always relaxed, except when I’m working, which isn’t all the time.”

“Wow, lot of feelings, lot of emotions; how about you Fig?”

“I…” Fig fell silent, a few months ago this wouldn’t be tricky; she could name a dozen friends, or her parents, or any of her extended family. But now. Now she sometimes felt like there was no one she could trust.

“I trust Adaine to always be there for me at my worst.”

“Wow, has she been there for you at your worst a lot? She’s seen you go through some bad times? She’s helped you through them?” Fig thought about after fights with her mom, talking to Adaine for hours late at night, remembered when she freaked out and hurled the stone away, remembered that first morning, dry blood still caked to the base of her horns.

“Yeah.” She said simply, agreeing genuinely with the counsellor for the first time, without a hint of sarcasm.

“And you’ve been there for her at her worst?” Fig thought about Adaine stressing out about her exam, ranting about her parents and her sister.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“And you accept each other for what each one views as their flaws.”

_ I thought you were beautiful. _

“Yes.”

“Wow, a lot of feelings there. I think we all wish to have a romantic relationship which is that strong and meaningful.”

“Oh, no, Adaine isn’t- we’re not, she’s just a friend.” Mr Gibbons looked at her for a very long moment, expression not changing in the slightest and Fig felt her cheeks heat up.

“Wow… that’s a lot of feelings.” Fig audibly groaned and she heard a couple of the others chuckle.

“Ok, now how would those people we trust react to hearing about what we did to get here?”

“I guess they’d be upset that I couldn’t keep my anger under control but I think they’d be ok because I said sorry.”

“My mom would tell me that I shouldn’t have got caught.”

“My Papa would laugh.”

“Oh, I think my parents would be fine, y’know they don’t always get this ‘walking among the sinners thing’ but they support it.”

“I thought you bore false witness?” Gorgug asked.

“What? Oh, right yeah, you’re right, they’d all be sssuuuuuuuppppppeeerrrr pissed, but y’know; that’s just how it goes.”

“She’d be smug.”

“Wow, that’s a feeling, why do you think she’d feel smug? Do you think she knew you’d get in trouble? Do you act out because people expect you to? Y’know-“ Fig ignored him.

“-Pancake day is on Tuesday. You get what I’m saying?”

“Sure. But she’d be smug ‘cause I said I’d get detention before lunch and she said I’d get detention before classes start, so yeah she’s gonna me smug about being right. And she was right about there not being any wizards in detention so she’s going to be annoying about that,” Fig said with a grin, “but, she also said there wouldn’t be any clerics and she was wrong about that one, so she didn’t get everything right.”

“Wow, ok, that’s a lot of feelings. Why do you think she said there wouldn’t be any wizards or clerics in detention?”

“Well, clerics are all goodie-two-shoes-“

“Not all of us, I drank vodka at a party last week, ask anybody who was there.”

“So normally they wouldn’t be put in detention; although I’m sure many of the human invaders of Solace were clerics so not all of them are super peaceful and reflective and shit. She didn’t think Wizards would get detention because she’s a Wizard and she thinks she’s too good to get detention.”

“Wow, So do you agree that she wouldn’t get detention?”

“Oh yeah, if she ever got in trouble it’d be because she accidentally borrowed a book for too long or something.” Fig chuckled.

“Wow, those are some big feelings aren’t they?”

“Not really.” Fabian drawled.

“Wow.” Fig swung her legs off of the desk and placed her head down. Ok, so maybe this had been a terrible plan; nothing could be worth sitting through this guy.

“So,“ Mr Gibbons said after a silence, “I guess you guys are an adventuring party now, how are we feeling about this guys?”

“Does that mean, that we’re, like friends?” Asked Gorgug.

“Well, mostly adventuring parties are made up of groups of friends but seeing as you guys are kinda being forced together here I suppose it’s a little early to say wether you’re friends or not.”

“Yes, we’re friends.” Fig said, partly to go opposite of whatever Gibbons was saying and partly because Gorgug genuinely seemed very kind.

“I mean, technically; through Helio we are all family.” Kristen said, musingly.

“Wait, If we’re family do you know my birth parents?”

“No, I was just saying that yeah, we can be friends.”

“I suppose I’d say yes as well,” said Fabian, “those guys on the Bloodrush team are douches, and it’d be a good idea to be friends with the one person who might be able to beat me in a fight.”

“No one else could beat you?” Riz asked dryly.

“No.”

“Well, I guess me too.” Riz said to the rest of the room.

“Why? Let me guess, you want to keep an eye on the people who’ll commit the majority of crimes over the next four years?”

“That might be part of it.”

“Come on, The Ball; crime is fun.”

“Please don’t call me ‘The Ball’” Riz said exasperatedly running his hand through his hair.

“Why not, what else would I call you?” Fabian asked, feigning confusion.

“Riz?” The Goblin returned in annoyance.

“Why would I call you a random syllable?”

“I mean, technically; if you think about it all names are just random syllables.” Kristen interjected.

“My name is Riz Gukgak, please address me as such.”

“Sure thing Such.” Riz groaned.

“Ok, how about we all say a weakness we have?”

“Do you just have a list of these questions on a sheet somewhere? They’re all really dumb.” Fig objected.

“Wow. Lots of feelings.”

“I guess I’m always a bit worried about getting angry and stuff.” Gorgug said after hesitating for a moment or so.

“Well, I suppose in a fight I can’t really do damage to the enemy, if they’re undead I can be useful though.” 

“I’m not great at talking to people.” Riz admitted simply.

“Isn’t that kind of an important part of being a detective?” Inquired Fabian.

“Well, yeah but I can have someone else ask questions.” 

“Well, I suppose  _ if  _ I have a weakness it’s the fact I can’t do magic.” Fabián said loftily.

Fig hesitated and thought for a few seconds, allowing the silence to continue so that everyone was looking at her, her face saying that she was about to say something deeply personal. 

“Blondes.”

Fabian laughed loudly and the rest of the group let out small chuckles.

“Seriously though, I’m probably weak to a bullet to the head, although I suppose everyone is.”

“Well,” Mr Gibbons spoke up, “unless you’ve been shot in the head you have no evidence that you  _ are  _ weak to a bullet to the skull.”

“So you might not be weak to a bullet to the head?”

“I suppose we sometimes always feel that we’re invulnerable to bullets don’t we? You see-“

_ Aaaaaarrrrrrrgggggghhhh!!! _

“-and that is why we don’t fall off the earth right guys?”

“Sure.”

  
  
  
  
  


After what felt like hours of endless personal questions they were allowed to leave, Fig heading straight for the beach. It was still early afternoon so they’d still be people there but something about being on the beach when she talked to Adaine was just… nice.

If Adaine’s exams had gone well then Fig was planning on being very annoying about how she had been right about finding an Adventuring Party in detention, and how there’d even been a cleric. If she hadn’t done brilliantly then she’d save off for a few days.

Before she’d even sat down on a fairly empty part of the beach Fig had pulled out her sending stone.

“Adaine?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What if we were really good friends who were both into each other but we were like super oblivious and when someone mistakenly calls us a couple we both become super flustered and it’s obvious we’re into the other… haha jk… unless…?
> 
> I’m so lazy at coming with names.
> 
> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed! I think this is the longest chapter I’ve ever written and now this work is about a quarter of the words I’ve written overall; so thanks to everyone who’s left comments or kudos you guys really keep me motivated to keep writing.
> 
> Also the more time elapses the more I dislike this works title and the more I’m really tempted to change it to something like “Pen Pals”
> 
> Because the next few chapters won’t be as plot heavy as the last few they’ll probably be shorter and might take a bit longer to post, but please bear with me.
> 
> Also! No girls have been kidnapped at this point; I have now realised that that means Riz wouldn't have stolen the teabag but y'know what? Maybe he wanted some tea, I don't know!


	14. Let me help you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, the next time I say I’m going to write a short chapter I need someone to slap me in the face.
> 
> And yes, we’re now up to there being thirty one chapters planned, which yes is three times as many as I originally had planned; I have exactly zero self control.

“So,” Fig asked once Adaine had answered her message, “how’d it go?”

“Pretty good, I got ninety one percent.” Adaine answered, Fig could hear the tiredness in her voice, the stress of the past few weeks leaving her slightly empty.

“Holy Crap, Adaine; that’s incredible!”

“Yeah.” Adaine responded, sounding unconvinced.

“What’s wrong?” Asked Fig, concerned.

“Ah, nothing,” Adaine brushed off Fig’s question, “just my parents being dicks, y’know: the usual.” Adaine laughed but Fig could tell that her friend was hurt.

“What did they do?”

“My Father… said that if I’d studied a bit harder I would’ve done better, and my mother said that ‘an Abernant should be able to go above and beyond the expected’.” Adaine laughed bitterly.

“They didn’t even say well done or that they were proud of me or anything.”

“Fuck, Adaine; that’s such bullshit.”

“I know that I shouldn’t let it get to me, but it does; I just know that they’re always comparing me to Aelwyn y’know?”

“Yeah. What did Aelwyn get when she took the exam.”

“Ninety seven. She barely had to study, everything just always came so easy to her.”

“Well…” Fig said, “I’m proud of you, you did really well.”

“Thanks.” Adaine replied and Fig could tell by her tone that she was smiling.

“But how did your first day go?” Adaine asked after a brief pause.

“Did you kill anyone?”

“Nah,” Fig laughed, “you’re not allowed to kill anyone on the first day.”

“Shame.” Adaine said with an over exaggerated sigh.

“No, it was… it was good. I guess.” Fig fiddled with a guitar pick in her pocket.

“You guess?” Adaine asked, concern evident in her tone; easily picking up on the oddness in her friend’s voice.

“Yeah I… I had another fight with my mom today.” Fig said, dismissively 

“Oh, I’m sorry; what happened?”

“I don’t even know really, she was complaining about me being rude or whatever.” Fig replied bitterly, picking up a handful of sand and watching as the grains flowed out from between her fingers.

“You’d think she’d lay off on your first day.”

“I know right?” Fig scoffed, throwing what was left of the sand over the beach towards the sea.

“Like, I get it, it must suck for her losing her husband and her daughter not liking her as much, but like, she  _ chose _ this right? She  _ chose  _ to fuck a demon, she  _ chose  _ to cheat on Gilear, she  _ chose  _ to lie about it for years and… and she’s acting like we’re in the same boat, like we’re both equally to blame and both suffering the same amount when we’re really not.” Fig tucked her knees into her chest and rested her chin on them.

“If she’d just tell me who my Dad is then… the fact that she won’t tell me just means that she cares more about protecting herself from whatever she’s ashamed about than she cares about me.” Fig sighed and sat in silence, staring out to sea.

“How did it go apart from that?” Adaine ventured after a few moments; hoping to take the conversation to a less upsetting topic 

“Good actually.” Fig replied, after pulling her thoughts back to the conversation.

“How soon did you get detention?” 

“Before the first bell.” The Tiefling smirked.

“Ha! I knew it!” Adaine’s voice was triumphant.

“I knew you were going to be a dick about that.” Fig grinned.

“Yeah, you know me too well,” Adaine replied, “what did you get detention for?”

“I went into the teacher’s lounge and I tried to eat a ghost steak.”

“A What?”

“Like, a see through steak for ghosts I guess? Couldn’t eat it though.”

“Probably because you’re not a ghost.”

“Possibly.” Fig answered in a pondering voice.

“So you were the first person to get detention and it was for failing to eat a steak.”

“Well actually, I wasn’t the first person to get detention, I can’t believe you’d make such an assumption about me Adaine; you’re lack of faith in my rule obeying abilities is starting to negatively affect my academic drive, if I end up failing school it’s your fault.” Fig’s voice as she said this wavered as if she was on the verge of tears from hurt at Adaine’s betrayal.

“I’m so sorry, I never should’ve assumed the worst of you; I repent entirely and beg your forgiveness.”

“Granted.” Fig said imperiously before breaking into a grin again when Adaine spoke again.

“So someone got detention before you? That’s impressive.”

“Yeah, as soon as I walked in this guy just went up to someone and punched him in the face.” Fig laughed slightly remembering how suddenly it had happened.

“Wait really?”

“Really, it was crazy; then the second guy knocked him on his ass, it was honestly pretty hilarious, and then the Vice Principal picked them both up and gave them detention.”

“Wow, that sounds… exciting?” Adaine said with a laugh.

“Why did he punch him?”

“Something to do with wanting to be cool.” Fig shrugged before explaining,“We had to talk about what we did when we were in detention.” 

“Punching people randomly is cool? No wonder I’m not popular.”

“I think he thought it’d make people take him seriously or something.” Considered Fig.

“Like, after he punched him he shouted ‘I’m Fabian Seacaster and I’m here to be awesome.’ Or great or amazing, something along those lines.”

“Sounds like a douche.” Adaine chuckled before something clicked at the back of her mind.

“Wait, did you say ‘Seacaster’?”

“Yeah?” Said Fig, confused.

“Like, oh what was it? Whatshisname?” Adaine snapped her fingers together, searching for an almost forgotten thought.

“I don’t know!” Fig laughed.

“Bill! Bill Seacaster that’s it!”

“Yeah, he said that was his Dad I think, why? You know him?”

“No, but a while before I was born a Lady of the Luminelda called Hallarial, I think, ran off to become a pirate with Captain Bill Seacaster, last anyone heard of her they’d fallen in love and got married with a kid on the way.”

“Wow, small world.” Fig marvelled. “What happened with the rest of her family? Why wouldn’t she keep in contact with them?”

“Well after the shame of their daughter running off like that and marrying someone who wasn’t high elf they ended up basically quasi-exiled; they’re in charge of the school you go to if you failed the exam.”

“But they didn’t do anything?”

“In the council’s view we share in our family’s successes and are responsible for our family’s failures.” Adaine responded resignedly.

“And marrying someone who isn’t high elf is one of the biggest failures.”

“Even other elves?”

“Yeah, hells; even marrying high elves not born in Fallinel is a bit taboo.”

“Gods, So her family doesn't even talk to Hallariel anymore?”

“Well, either that or they don’t tell anyone about what she says.”

“Damn. The more I hear about your country the more horrible it seems... no offence.”

“No, we’re pretty much assholes.” They both laughed.

“So who else is going to be in your Adventuring party?”

“Well, Fabian who’s a fighter, Gorgug who’s the guy who got punched and he’s a barbarian, then there’s Riz Gukgak who’s a rogue.”

“And no wizards? Told ya.” Adaine replied, smugly.

“Yeah, but there was a Cleric; little miss knowitall so ha!”

“A cleric? Didn’t see that coming to be honest.”

“Yeah: Kristen, she’s Helioic but she’s got big repressed gay vibes.”

“Well at least you’ve got someone who can heal you when you’re looking for a random gem or whatever you adventurers do.”

“Yeah, it’s gonna be invaluable.” Fig laughed.

“But she seems nice, if a bit intense about Helio.”

“What did she do to end up in detention?”

“She bore false witness? Something weird like that, not really sure what it is.” Fig answered, struggling to remember what Kristen had said.

“Bore False Witness? That’s not really a rule, it basically means she lied.”

“To anyone?”

“No like, more serious than that, like if you say you saw someone do something that they didn’t do.”

“So like lying in court?”

“Yeah, kinda: but it’s not a law, well it’s not here and I don’t think it’s one in Solace, it’s a religious rule.”

“That’s weird.” Fig mused.

“Do you think she was covering up why she was actually there?”

“Seems unlikely,” replied Adaine, “Bearing false witness is a big deal; I don’t think she would say she’d done that unless she had.”

“So what do you think she was doing in detention?”

“Maybe the same thing as you?” Adaine ventured.

“Maybe she wanted to find an adventuring party and decided on the bad kids but couldn’t actually do anything to get detention?”

“Possibly.” Fig nodded, Adaine’s logic making sense.

“Goldenhoard did seem a bit confused when the coach gave her detention.”

“Goldenhoard?”

“Yeah, he’s the Vice Principal, he’s completely in love with me.”

“What?” Adaine almost shouted in a stunned voice.

“Not really, I’m just messing with him.” Fig laughed at her friend’s shocked reaction.

“Good.” Adaine chuckled as well in relief.

“He’s not really my type.”

“What is your type?”

“I don’t know,” sighed Fig, “after the past few months I think I’d settle for someone who’s kind and doesn’t think I’m a monster because of my horns.”

“You deserve a lot more than that Fig.”

“I know.” They both lapsed into quiet for a few moments.

“So,” Adaine said, breaking the silence, “how did detention go?”

“Not gonna lie, it was absolutely awful, like I was seriously thinking through the whole thing ‘is this whole thing worth it.’”

“What did they make you do?” Adaine asked, sounding anxious.

“Oh, don’t worry; I’m being dramatic, it was just really boring and the guidance counsellor kept asking us questions which sound like the first things you’d get if you asked any random person what questions you should ask teenagers in detention, then going on forever making a weird metaphor about whatever we said.”

“So what you’re saying is,” Adaine said, her voice becoming smug again, “I was right about it being a terrible idea?”

“No, it was an amazing idea with, admittedly, some unfortunate effects, like the rotting of half of my brain cells.

But the others actually seem pretty decent to be honest, Fabian’s a bit self important but I’m sure he’s actually ok, Gorgug seems really nice; he brought a tin flower into school to give to someone, Kristen like I said seems a bit intense about about Helio but I suppose that’d probably happen when your gay in a homophobic religion. I couldn’t get much on Riz, seems kinda closed off but I guess that’s understandable for the first day.”

“Sounds like you lucked out; still think it was a bad plan.”

“That’s only if you think about it logically.”

“That is how I tend to think about things.”

“And that is why you shall never be the greatest bard in the world like me.”

“So all bards are illogical?”

“Yep, music is completely illogical; it’s a lot of sounds at the same time which we’ve agreed upon as sounding good.” Fig could hear Adaine starting to speak a few times before she evidently decided not to try and debate the point.

“Fine, what classes did you take?” She asked with a laugh 

“Lunch Ladying.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Yeah, I helped the lunch lady, Doreen, with food and stuff.”

“Why?” Asked Adaine, exasperatedly.

“Because she's the only member of the faculty not peddling bullshit and actually doing honest work so I figured she’d be the best person to learn stuff from.” Justified Fig.

“You said you’d try some classes.” Adaine chastised.

“Ugh, Fine ‘mom’ I did some bard and barbarian classes; it’s fine.”

“You’re not a barbarian though.”

“Oh my Gods get off my back! I said I’d take classes, I took classes; I never specified  _ which  _ classes, it’s your fault for assuming.”

“Don’t you take that tone with me young lady!” Adaine adopted a faux-stern voice which made Fig snort loudly.

“So what happened after detention?” Adaine asked after they both contained their laughter.

“Nothing, really; I just came down to the beach.”

“Wait,” Adaine’s tone was one of slight confusion, “when did you argue with your mom?” She asked.

“This morning, before I left for school, why?” Fig replied suspiciously.

“Why didn’t you message me?” Adaine asked, perplexed.

“I… I didn’t want to bother you, you already had enough to deal with today.” Fig explained.

“Fig… If there’s anything that you ever want to talk about then I  _ want  _ you to bother me, I want to be able to help you even if all I can do is listen; it doesn’t matter when or what’s happening ok? It’s fine to ask for help from people who care about you.”

“Adaine,” Fig laughed slightly, “you’ve been stressed about these results for weeks, I couldn’t just message you asking to vent when you were getting them.”

“You’re more important than some exam results Fig.”

“Really?” Fig asked sceptically.

“Exam results which determine your entire future.” Fig’s tone was joking but Adaine’s words did make her feel nice.

“Yes.” Adaine replied simply and seriously; not a hint of humour in her voice. Fig didn’t answer, her lips were suddenly very dry.

“Fig, I-“ Adaine stopped herself and fell silent for a moment “You’re really important to me Fig, and I want to be sure that you’re ok.”

Fig opened her mouth to speak a few times before she could finally string some words together; almost completely unprepared for such an emotionally blunt moment.

“Thanks,” she eventually said in a quiet voice, “you’re really important to me as well.”

“So, do you promise to message me whenever you need to?”

“Yeah.” Fig answered with a smile.

“I promise.”

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> I’m not gonna try and guess when the next chapter will be posted because it always ends up being the opposite of what I guess. I was supposed to have a regular update schedule but if I’m honest that was never gonna happen.
> 
> Comments are always welcome!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “I’m gonna take a few days off from writing” they says.
> 
> “I’ll just try and sort out my half a dozen notebooks crammed full of nonsense” they says.
> 
> Ok, so like, my original estimate for this work was about 6000 words and now I’m writing over 2000 for chapters that really don’t advance the plot. That’s not a bad thing I just like venting about how uncontrollable my brain is.

“Uurrrrrregggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh.” Moaned Fabian in extremely exaggerated frustration; theatrically running his hand through his hair before dropping it onto the table in front of him.

“We have been at this almost,” He looked down at his watch and groaned, “Seven hours; by the time we finish we’ll have to head straight to class.”

“If we finish.” Kristen replied sleepily, head resting on her arm; eyes staring vacantly at the open pages of her book.

“Why can’t either of you work it out?” Fabian continued, ignoring Kristen’s interruption.

“You’re spellcasters aren’t you? That’s basically the same as a wizard.” He pointed his remarks to the half asleep Kristen and Fig who, along with Riz, was one of the two students still functioning enough to actually study the heavy tomes piled in front of them.

“You’re a stuck up dick, isn’t that basically the same thing as being a wizard?” Fig bit back, barely looking up from her book: ‘On ancient curses and wards, archaic runes and extinct magical language.’ which she’d have trouble following even if she was wide awake and as it was could barely decipher it.

“I’m just saying that I don’t get it, isn’t magic all just kinda… magic?” Fabian made a weird motion with his hands.

“Is that your sign for magic?” Riz asked disparagingly, looking in confusion at the huge book open in front of him; if he knew what he was looking for it wouldn’t be an issue but with just a vague idea of what they were searching for his investigative skills weren’t overly useful.

“Shut up The Ball.” Fabian said, rubbing the corner of his eye, knocking his elbow into Gorgug accidentally making the sleeping barbarian murmur slightly in his slumber.

“Applebees gets her magic from a corn God; I get mine from being awesome at music; wizards are actually smart and talented and shit.” Fig replied to Fabian’s question, trying a swig of her coffee and grimacing at the cold, bitter liquid.

“Didn’t you just call them stuck up dicks?” Shot Fabian, tilting his chair back slightly abandoning even the pretence of working a while ago. Fig brought her eyes up to meet Fabian’s, noting the heavy bags under his eyes and knowing she wouldn’t be much better despite her tendency to stay up very late.

“People can be two things.” She turned to Riz who was clearly accustomed to functioning on very little sleep but was still having trouble keeping focus.

“Found anything?”

“I’ve got a bit about some theories on early magic use,” Riz sighed, flicking through his notes, “but not really anything useful.” He finished, hanging his head in defeat.

“I can’t really make head or tail of any of this Wizard jargon.” He added in annoyance.

“Yeah, it’s like you've already got to know everything about everything ever to even try figuring this out.” Fig agreed.

“You got anything Fabian?”  _ Slim chance  _ Fig thought, which was mean but she was tired and in a bad mood.

“Something something something, heptarchy, something something.” Fabian read out before slouching slightly.

“I’m sorry guys, I’m having difficulty with this high Elven; my mama is a highborn lady and this language is so… vulgar? But also primitive? I can make out some words here and there but…” he shrugged apologetically.

“Kristen, how about you?” Fig asked; turning to their last hope; at least clerics had some level of academic magic work required; even if it was mostly Helioic and not very useful.

“Mmmmm,” the red headed girl groaned sleepily, “most’f its elvish. I don’t speak elvish.”

With a sigh Fig slammed her huge book closed, prepared to admit failure.

“Well,” she said looking down at her wrist and seeing the face read 3:00, “if we all have four hours sleep or so we might be able to bluff our way through.”

“How are we gonna bluff our way through a magical obstacle course which is using primeval spells and magic from a time period none of us have even heard about?” Riz asked in a very unconvinced tone.

“Skill and positive thinking my dudes.” The others looked at her sceptically.

“Well, the two options are; we stay here and continue to drive ourselves mad looking for something when we don’t even know what exactly we’re looking for, or go get some sleep and hope everyone else is as useless tomorrow as we are.” Fig threw hands up in defeat.

“Today.” Kristen said in a muffled voice.

“Not helpful, c’mon guys; positive thinking! We need to visualise our victory.”

“So imagine all the other Adventuring Parties dying before the test?” Fabian replied.

“Or just their wizards.” Riz mused.

“How would that help?” Fabian asked.

“They would’ve already worked everything out.”

“Fair point.” Riz yawned.

“Still don’t get how basically every other party has at least one wizard and we don’t.” Kristen moaned, sitting up and stretching, closing the books in front of her as she and the others slowly began packing up in resignation.

“We met in detention,” Fig replied, “wizards don’t get detention.” 

Fig froze as realisation struck her.

“Fig,” Riz asked in concern, “you Ok?”

“Yeah… yeah, I’m fine; I think I just had an idea.” Fig answered. She did have an idea, but was it fair? Yes Adaine had made her promise to message her whenever she needed help but this wasn’t like, arguing with her mom or something, it felt kinda wrong to just message her in the middle of the night to ask for help on homework which they should’ve done a week ago. But then again Adaine was the only person Fig knew who could possibly know something about some super obscure time period and archaic form of magic.

With another moment of hesitation she pulled the sending stone out of her pocket; ignoring the weird looks on her friends’ faces and spoke into the stone.

“Adaine?” She half expected no response, or at most a sleepy and half annoyed groan and so jumped slightly when a voice which was clearly wide awake responded.

“Fig? What’s up?” Fig managed to control her breathing after the shock and flapped her hand at Fabian who looked like he was about to ask a question.

“Not much, I was just wondering if you could- Wait, why are you up this early?” Fig almost entirely forgot the reason for messaging her friend and the urgency of the project, slightly worried by Adaine being clearly up and about.

“What? Oh, right; we had astrology homework, I’ve been up for about half an hour now, I was actually about to message you.”

“Oh?” Fig queried, since starting her upper school in Fallinel just over a week ago, and a week after Fig’s first day at Aguefort Adaine had been very stressed about the amount of work which she was expected to do and often messaged Fig to talk while she was doing it to escape the sheer tedium; but so far she hadn’t asked for company while doing her astrology homework which she seemed to have a particular knack for along with divination.

“Yeah, I’m just gonna be staring at the stars for an hour or so and I was just, kinda wondering if you wanted to join… or something.” Adaine answered, her voice sounding slightly awkward.

“Oh,” Fig said, taken aback slightly; with both their workloads mounting it’d been hard to find time to just talk without the excuse of homework, “that sounds lovely; I’d love to.” She said with a grin, The she caught the eyes of her friends looking at her in confusion and she remembered why she messaged.

“But, I was wondering if you could maybe give me a hand with something? I completely understand if you don’t; you have your own work, I’m just kinda desperate here and I don’t know any other wizards and it’s just… a lot.” Fig said in a rush.

“Fig.”

“Yeah?”

“It’s Ok to ask for help. I’m always happy to help you, ok?”

“Ok.” Fig smiled.

“Now,” Adaine continued, “What’s the problem?”

“Ok, so basically,” Fig started, reaching to her notes on the group assignment, “for one of our Adventuring Party test thingies we need to be able to pass through a maze, obstacle course thing which will have loads of different magics and shit frommmmm-“ Fig drew the word out as she flicked through her unorganised notebook before Riz passed her his.

“From the Heptarchy, and none of us know when that was, and basically no one in our year did, we think it was some kind of Elven thing but we have no idea and we have to do it tomorrow, or today or whatever, and we have no wizard, or slightest clue of what we’re doing so help?”

Adaine laughed.

“Ok, so the Heptarchy was this thing that existed millennia before humans came to Solace, or Highcourt or anywhere near that part of the continent. It was the five dominant powers at the time, in the north were the Woodelves and Halflings, in the Crimson Waste were the Sand Mages, in the south were the High elves and on an archipelago which has since been destroyed were the sea people.”

“Ok.” Fig said, slightly confused, “but how does that help magically-y?”

“Well, the magic used at the time was a lot more… not primitive? More like… simple? Intuitive. Yeah, that’s it: intuitive. Basically instead of runes and specific words with diamonds and gold the people used plants and emotions, intentions and stuff like that to perform magic.”

“Ok, so are you saying we can just kinda push through?”

“No, it’s not that that type of magic is inferior it’s just that it takes hundreds of years to master so humans came up with their own forms of magics which other people ended up adopting because it was easier to learn.”

“So, you’re saying we can’t do it.”

“No, sorry,” Adaine laughed, “I’m getting to the point; I swear. I’m assuming that someone casting that type of magic today isn’t going to be a master of it for obvious reasons, so they’d probably use basic spells of defence, which would affect anyone who would want to harm something so all you’d need to do would be to focus on  _ not  _ wanting to harm whatever is at the end of the maze, so imagine something you like at the end and you should be fine.”

“Wow, That sounds… way too easy.”

“Well if you want I can tell you exactly how to counter each and every heptarchy era magic which someone could conceivably know of today?”

“Y’know What, I think the first option is gonna be better.” Fig said with a laugh.

“Thought so.”

“So, I need like ten minutes to clear up here and then I can come meet you?” Fig suggested.

“Sounds great.” Just as she was about to put the stone away Fig stopped.

“Hey Adaine?”

“Yep?”

“But, like, no one would want to harm something at the end of the maze so wouldn’t the magic have absolutely no affect?”

“Well, it stops anyone who could conceivably hurt it, so anyone who  _ wants  _ to go to the end could wish harm to whatever they find there unless, assuming the caster isn’t proficient in ancient magic, they’re thinking about how much they  _ don’t  _ want to hurt it… that doesn’t really make sense does it?”

“Not really,” Fig said, grinning, “talk later.”

“Bye.”

Fig pocketed the stone, she hadn’t actually been worried about Adaine leaving a hole in the plan but it was nice hearing her talk about something she knew a lot about and was interested in.

“Ok, so basically,” she said, turning to the other Bad Kids, “as long as we think super hard about something which we would never hurt being at the end of the course we should be fine.”

“That’s it?”

“Apparently.”

“According to who exactly?” Fabian asked suspiciously.

“Oh, Adaine; she’s a friend and a wizard.”

“So why didn’t you ask her seven hours ago?” He demanded in an extremely annoyed tone.

“I didn’t want to bother her.” Fig said dismissively.

“How do we know we can trust her?”

“You think she’s trying to trap us?”

“I’m just saying it’s very convenient she happened to know everything about this thing none of us know anything about, this thing that no wizard in our year knew about?”

“We can trust her.” Fig replied decisively.

“She’s smarter than all the wizards in our year.”

“Fine.” Fabian said after a moment of silence before poking Gorgug awake.

“Gorgug, wake up; Fig’s friend saved us.” 

With many yawns and groans of annoyance the Bad Kids as they had dubbed themselves packed up their stacks of heavy obscure books and headed out of the Aguefort library. Unlike the rest of her friends Fig wasn’t planning on going to bed and sleeping for as long as possible but was instead going to head down to her usual spot on the beach; looking up she knew it was a good night for stargazing.

Fig found herself stopped by Riz giving her a searching look, like he was trying perceive something about her, Fig immediately adopted a stint, stoic expression; she wasn’t exactly sure what she was trying to conceal but she knew she didn’t want Riz knowing what she didn’t know he wanted to know. After a beat, Riz seemed to either get what he was searching for or decided to give up, his face relaxing.

“Goodnight.” He said with a smile.

“Try to get some sleep, tomorrow will probably be tough.”

“Same to you.” He said suspiciously watching her as she walked towards the sea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed! I’m sorry that the next few chapters won’t be super plot important; next important plot chapter will probably be in like, five chapters or so, but then again that is a me estimate so it might be a hundred.
> 
> Also while I wrote this chapter my tea went cold. I know that really isn’t important to anything but I just had to share the tragic news.


	16. Happy Birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so this chapter was gonna be set the day after last one with maybe a couple of hundred words about Adaine and Fig chatting but it just kinda ended up like this.
> 
> Also, I’m not really sure I like this chapter, I’m just not sure if it works, if that makes any sense? I might rewrite part of it at some point. I wish I could say I definitely won’t delete it and completely change things but I can’t.

“So,” Fig asked as she gazed up at the twinkling tapestry of stars, the tiny pinpricks of light in the sheet of nothingness shining peacefully back at her; the full moon bathing the beach in cool, silvery light, “What’s your homework?”

She was laying on her back, her bare feet resting so that the gentle, cool waves lapped up against them, after sitting in the library for so long the bracing water was refreshing and welcome.

“I’m supposed to try making some big, long term predictions tonight,” Adaine replied, she was also laying down, eyes searching for patterns among the chaotic beauty of the heavens, “usually with astronomy you can just get some vague things, like a warning to be careful of burns next week, and it’s very rare it extends too far into the future.”

“What’s different tonight?” Fig queried, lazily spinning a guitar pick in her fingers as she wiggled her toes in a small wave which rolled over her feet up to her ankles.

“Oh, apparently you can get a lot more sense out of the stars if you watch them on the anniversary of your birth when there’s a full moon.” Adaine replied casually, glancing towards the Raven constellation and making a note of the morning star’s presence in it, jumping slightly as Fig shouted suddenly.

“Wait, What!?” Fig shot up into a sitting position in shock.

“I erm said that apparent-“ Adaine began to repeat herself; taken aback at Fig’s reaction.

“It’s your birthday?” Fig cut in excitedly.

“Or yesterday was? Doesn’t matter, that means your fifteen right? What did you do? Or are you doing? Oooh! Presents! Do you do presents for your birthday in Fallinel? Oh my gods! How come you never said anything?” Adaine was very flustered at Fig’s quickfire questions; really not understanding her friend’s interest in something so mundane as the anniversary of her birth.

“Yes, today is the day I was born; fifteen years ago. We really don’t do anything for it here.” She said in a confused tone, sitting up and trying to figure out what was going on.

“What?” Exclaimed Fig, aghast.

“You don’t have birthdays at all in Fallinel? No party? No cake? Gods, I knew it was all dull and shit there but damn.”

“Well, like I said it can make certain magics more potent; like with astrology and the full moon but no, we don’t celebrate it: why would we?”

“I don’t know? It’s just something everyone does, it’s super fun! You get a cake with candles for how many years you are and everyone sings happy birthday and you get presents and everything, it’s awesome.” Gushed Fig, wildly.

“So it’s celebrating you surviving another year of life?” Adaine asked sceptically.

“I mean that’s actually a super metal way of describing it. It’s just a day which is about celebrating you.” 

“I can’t imagine my parents would be overly excited about doing that even if we lived in Solace.” Adaine laughed hollowly.

“Also,” she continued with more humour in her voice, “I suppose if we got candles for each year of our lives we’d probably run out after one old person’s birthday.”

“That’s true.” Laughed Fig.

“And it'd be difficult for one person to blow out, like, five thousand candles.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, right; after everyone sings ‘happy birthday’ the person whose birthday it is blows out the candles.” Explained Fig animatedly.

“Wait, So you light all the candles just to blow them all out again? That’s... so dumb.” Adaine giggled.

“Yeah, it’s just a fun thing to do I don’t know.”

“So it symbolises the fact that another year of your life has been extinguished?”

“Again,  _ super  _ metal way of thinking about it and I love it.” Fig replied grinning.

“I can’t believe you don’t celebrate your birthday.”

“I wish we did, it sounds fun.” Fig was silent for a few moments after Adaine said that, leaving a pregnant pause in the conversation.

“I mean… if you want…” She eventually mumbled awkwardly.

“What?” Adaine prompted.

“Ok,” Fig said, her voice returning to its excited tone, “This is gonna sound super dumb, but how about we do celebrate it?”

“What?” Repeated Adaine, chuckling slightly.

“I’m serious, can you take a break from your homework?”

“I mean…” Adaine responded, looking up, “Sky’s not going anywhere.”

“Great.” Grinned Fig.

“Ok, so if you can try and find some candles and a cake or something then I’ll sing happy birthday and you blow out the candles? I know it sounds super dumb but I just thought, y’know since I can’t get you a present or anything-“

“That sounds fun,” Adaine smiled broadly, “I’ll see what I can find; I’m sure we’ve got candles somewhere.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


About ten minutes later Adaine sat back down on the beach, she’d only managed to find two regular sized candlesticks and as a cake she had a loaf of bread she’d pilfered from the kitchen; it wasn’t like the Abernant family could be expected to have any variety of sweet treat.

“Ok,” She said as she lit the two candles, “I’m ready.” Adaine couldn’t control the huge smile on her face as Fig began singing, entranced by Fig’s melodious voice.

“ _ Happy birthday to you _

_ Happy birthday to you _

_ Happy birthday dear Adaine _

_ Happy birthday to you.” _

Beaming, Adaine blew out her two candles as the final notes of the song ended, followed by Fig raucously cheering which sent Adaine into fits of unrestrained giggles, soon echoed by Fig.

“Make a wish!” The Tiefling encouraged.

“What?” Adaine asked, still laughing.

“Just make a wish, it’s tradition!”

“Ok, errr, I wish-“ Adaine started uncertainly, only to be cut off by Fig.

“No, No! You can’t say your wish out loud or it won’t come true!” She gasped in mock horror.

“Sorry.” Adaine rolled her eyes as she apologised.

“Don’t you roll your eyes at me!”

“How-?”

“I could hear it.” Adaine laughed again, but more of a happy, contented laugh than an excited giggle.

_ I wish…  _ for a moment Adaine’s mind was blank and then she was hit by an idea that, once it appeared, seemed so obvious Adaine wasn’t sure how she hadn’t thought of it before.

_ I wish that I was there, I wish that I was there in Solace with Fig, not having to steal an hour or so when I should be doing homework to talk to her and just being this happy all the time. _

“Did you make a wish?” Fig asked excitedly.

“Yep.”

“A good one?”

“I think so yeah.” Adaine responded, still grinning madly.

“What was it?”

“You just said I couldn’t say it out loud!” Adaine protested in amusement.

”But I wanna know!” Fig whined.

“Fine, don’t tell me,” she relented, “but I better get something out of this wish too.”

“I thought this was supposed to be about me?”

“Yeah, well it’s actually tradition for the person who tells you about birthdays to get all the good stuff.”

“I think you just made that up.” Adaine replied in an over exaggeratedly sceptical voice.

Fig scoffed in faux-offence.

“How dare you suggest I would try and scam or in any way take advantage of my best friend?”

“I’m sorry, you’re completely selfless.”

“Thank you,” Fig responded, smugly.

“Now, time for cake.”

  
  
  
  


After a while of munching on bread with liberal dollops of butter and jam spread haphazardly on each slice and talking loudly with Fig, her voice echoing around the deserted beach and across the gentle waves, Adaine found herself again laying down, gazing up at the impossibly chaotic and beautiful tapestry of twinkling lights.

“So,” Fig asked after a long, comfortable silence, “what’s your future looking like? Are you going to be a librarian, or a warlord, or something cool like that?”

“That’s not really how it works.” Adaine laughed.

“Ok, so what do you see.” Grinned Fig, now laying back down as well; staring up at the silvery, brilliant; soft stars completely lost in their impossibilities.

“Well, The Morning Star is entering the Raven which is my star sign.”

“Mmmmmmmmm-Kay.” Fig hummed until she located the constellation which could, possibly resemble something like a raven if you squint.

“And what does that mean?”

“Short term doom approaching.” Replied Adaine casually.

“Oh, that’s… bad.” Fig said awkwardly, confused by Adaine’s lack of concern in predicting personal doom.

“Not always, it can mean something like the ending of something, or it can be something bad happening to me.”

“Still sounds bad.”

“Yeah, but it’s short term so if it does mean personal doom then it won’t be someone dying or something like that.”

“Alright. Who knew stargazing could be so fun.” Fig remarked sarcastically.

“Ok, I started with a bad one.” Grinned Adaine, raking her eyes across the sky and finding the two lovers.

“The Lovers are close to The Guard.”

“You know, it’s a dick move making me ask what you mean each time.”

“Sorry,” Adaine chuckled, “the Guard is also sometimes called the Watcher.”

“Oh, Yeah.” Fig found the constellation which looked absolutely nothing like a watchful eye.

“And that sign is basically the status quo, so whenever rebellious celestial objects move close to it that means change shall be resisted by an outside force.”

“Yeah, I think I knew that one; I can see the Lovers, but I’ve never heard about them.” Fig said, squinting at the two specks of light which were close to the Watcher, one a dull reddish glow, the other a sharp blue

“They’re called Líss and Gutho, except no one knows which is which because every writer has always referred to them alongside the other. They are supposedly ancient Gods who were worshipped by the earliest elves before they adopted Galicaea as their God. 

Líss was one of the fallen; they were a celestial of love, peace and harmony so when the first Gods declared that no mortal would be allowed to stray from the plan they laid out for the world Líss rose with many of their siblings against the other Gods. They wanted to give the people of our world free will, they had seen how strict and brutal the world the Gods wanted would be and knew it had to be stopped. The rebellion won, they severed the connection of the God’s to our world so even now they can only interact with us when we worship them and provide them with footholds. But it came at a price. Líss and their siblings who rebelled lost their divinity, cast down to the world; many went mad and fell into the deep pits but Líss became lost, alone in our plane.

  
  


Gutho was a devil; long before the world was created, so before there were sinners to punish or races to corrupt, the Devils weren’t evil, they were just the opposites of the Gods: for light there was dark, for life there was death, for kindness there was the strength to fight to protect others. And for Líss’ love, peace and harmony there was Gutho, the devil of hatred, war and anger. Not long after the first people came into existence many of the devils came into our plane; most became abstract concepts; spreading around and becoming part of all races.

But Gutho made a form for themselves, they wanted to protect people and believed that becoming like them would be the best way to do that.”

“Wait,” Fig cut in, “protect? I thought you said they were all hate and stuff?” She had been listening in rapt attention; Adaine’s enchanting voice became almost impossible to ignore when she talked about something she loved.

“Yes,” Conceded Adaine, “but they weren’t evil; he hated injustice, they believed in fighting for what was good and had anger at unfairness. Still, despite their best intentions had they been the sole influence on early civilization Gutho might have inadvertently destroyed the races before they began.”

“What stopped them?”

“Líss. Despite losing their divinity they lived for millennia, travelling the world; preaching against hatred and war, calling for peace and healing people wherever they found sickness. For a long time both Gutho and Líss existed and operated independently of each other, gradually learning more and more of each other as time went on; soon realising the identity of the other and becoming bitter enemies, very rarely coming into contact, where they went they spread their philosophies; Gutho teaching to fight injustice and Líss teaching to care for the oppressed.

Where just Gutho passed war followed, constant power struggles as hundreds tried to prove that they were the ones who should fight the injustices which existed. Where just Líss passed compassion grew and often people were cared for but it allowed for cruel people who didn’t listen to them took power and oppressed the others.

But where both passed there arose great cities and countries, where the least of all people were cared for and people viciously fought against any injustice that they saw. But still despite this Gutho and Líss were still enemies.”

“What changed?” Fig asked, engrossed in the story.

“The great inter-planeray war. For the thousands of years in which Gutho and Líss walked the world the Devils and Gods had become more and more at odds, instead of working together to organise the world they worked against the other, causing chaos and destruction. When the Great War Came it brought untold devastation and unimaginable suffering, despite neither side being able to enter the mortal plane their clashes in the other planes tore great rents in the fabric of reality so primordial horrors, demons and other creatures spewed forth into the world.

It was then that Líss and Gutho’s relationship changed, Líss saw how Gutho prevented much suffering and pain by fighting the invaders, their anger spearing tens of thousands. And Gutho saw how Líss’ love inspired the mortals to work together, helping those displaced or wounded by the war.

After the Great War finally ended Gutho and Líss agreed to travel the world together to help rebuild the early civilisations, working together they brought balance from the chaos and soon they fell in love; despite their differences, and for thousands of years they helped maintain order and justice in the world.

When it was finally time for Líss to pass Gutho gave up what remained of their powers and they passed into the heavens arm in arm as they still are up there.”

“Wow.” Fig said, breaking the silence which followed the story’s end.

“That’s… beautiful, why haven’t I heard it before?”

“I don’t think many people know it anymore. Even here it’s not very popular since Galicaea became our God of choice. I just like it. I like how they were completely opposite of each other and still fell in love, how things only went well when they worked together. In Fallinel they encourage us to be independent and work for ourselves or for Fallinel, not other people and I just think it’s nice to think about how working together saved the ancient civilisations.”

“Yeah.” Fig said quietly.

“What does it mean when they’re close to the watcher?”

“Either that I have a relationship which will be challenged by outside forces or I will have to fight someone I love.”

“Sounds a bit dramatic.”

“Most of astrology is making extremely dramatic statements.” Adaine chuckled before both of them fell into silence, staring into the sky.

“I-“ Fig said before stopping herself.

“What?”

“It’s stupid.” Dismissed Fig.

“No, it’s not.”

“You don’t know what it is.”

“I know you’re saying it so it won’t be stupid.”

“I want to hug you.” Fig said in a rushed breath.

“I just… I just had this urge to hug you even though you're hundreds of miles away. I know it sounds stupid I just… I really wish you were here.”

“Yeah… me too.” Adaine replied softly.

“I really want to hug you as well, someday.”

“Yeah maybe.” Fig responded and for the first time since she’d started messaging Adaine she felt more alone when they were talking than when they weren’t.

“No, someday. I mean it.” Adaine said with sudden determination.

“What?”

“Seriously, on my nineteenth birthday we are going to hug, and you are going to get me presents and cake and it’s gonna be awesome.” Fig chuckled.

“It’s a date.” Both of them froze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed.
> 
> Sorry about the whole ass backstory for two random stars, I’m tired and it just kinda appeared.
> 
> Any feedback is really appreciated especially any thoughts if this chapter actually makes sense/works, cause I’m really not sure.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, first off I just want to say thank you again to everyone who has left comments or given this work kudos. It seriously means the world to me, especially when I was having doubts about the last chapter.
> 
> I really hope that you like this chapter, again I had trouble with this one but I think it's Ok.

Fig fought to keep her mind focused on her friends, as she and the other Bad Kids walked past trap after ward after spell of confusion with ease; despite how easy Adaine had made it sound focusing on not wanting to hurt something was extremely difficult; perhaps because there was so little which didn’t give her some amount of anger or irritation when she thought about it.

She had planned to think about Adaine and that probably would’ve worked; had this morning happened differently.

Why did she have to say that thing about a date? Fig thought angrily to herself, again losing control of her thoughts, tightening her grip on Kristen’s hand in front of her and Gorgug’s behind her she focused on her beloved bass guitar and the branches of the hedge they were passing, which had been slowly creeping towards her when her mind had become filled with unwelcome thoughts, again became stationary.

They had agreed upon holding hands in a chain after being temporarily separated by a cloud of fog which had come from nowhere early on in the maze to blind them, with Riz leading the way as he seemed to have an innate ability to find the correct paths and they all seemed to find it helped with grounding their thoughts.

However thoughts and worry kept pushing their way into the forefront of Fig’s head.

Why did that even make it weird? It’s a common fucking expression! Unless… Did Adaine think Fig had meant a date? Or did she want her to mean a date? Or did she think that Fig thought she wanted her to think she wanted a date? 

Again the thin, snaking branches began to twitch and Fig focused her attention on the back of Kristen’s head and tried to focus her mind on the cleric which seemed to calm the hedge.

Which makes sense, thought Fig, seeing as I never have any thoughts of hurting Kristen... not even when she goes on and on about Helio and shit.

The branches shifted.

Oh come on! Fig screamed internally.

I’m thinking about how sometimes my friend gets on my nerves enough for me to possibly, consider, maybe, fantasising about punching her; that’s got nothing to do with you, you stupid plant! 

Apparently the hedge didn’t agree with her argument as the branches moved closer and closer.

Fine. Groaned Fig, silently, retraining her mind to all the times Kristen didn’t go on and on about Helio, the branches quickly going back to their lifeless state.

Still, it was becoming harder and harder for Fig to focus on not wanting to hurt stuff, and even harder to not let thoughts of someone she definitely wasn’t thinking about into her mind.

After the Bad Kids had made it past the hedges they came to a perfectly square, concrete tunnel which was about thirty metres long; the surface was perfectly smooth and even, it was eerie in its uniformity after the irregular, almost haphazard design of the rest of the maze. From seeing various groups coming out of the course half-covered in specks of concrete dust they knew this was something which was difficult to avoid.

Hesitantly Riz slid his feet onto the smooth ground of the tunnel, carefully not putting too much pressure on it; when the floor didn’t give way he continued to move further out until his second foot joined the first, again, barely stepping and more like sliding across the menacing, grey stone. Soon his and Fabian’s arms were stretched as far as they’d go and Riz stopped to allow Fabian to follow him.

As soon as Fabian’s foot left the grass and slid onto the concrete the tunnel let out a monstrous growl which seemed to emanate from all sides of it, making the whole group jump; Fabian letting go of Riz’s hand and lurching back onto the grass. The instant he left the tunnel the growl died and the Bad Kids looked at each other.

“I think,” Riz whispered, even his low voice sounding out of place after the silence they had lapsed into for most of the maze, “we’ll have to go one at a time.”

“Oh really? What gives you that impression?” Hissed Fabian, clearly quite badly spooked by the echoing growl.

Riz ignored him and slowly, carefully slid on his feet down the tunnel, body tense and head moving constantly, looking all around for any hint of an oncoming trap. When he finally got to the end his relief was visible, sagging slightly and letting out a deep breath before beckoning to the others.

Fabian stepped onto the concrete, rather than following Riz’s lead and slowly creeping past the smooth surfaces Fabian practically sprinted to the other side, as he moved the others could see that with each footstep the solid concrete seemed to sink slightly but nothing serious happened before he crossed the opposite threshold.

Both Gorgug and Kristen passed without issue, each one joining their companions with sighs of relief. Next up was Fig. She took a deep, steadying breath as she tried to clear her cluttered mind of the swirling mass of confusing, overwhelming thoughts.

When she placed her foot on the concrete Fig could tell something was wrong, her foot sank a few inches into the concrete witch was suddenly liquefying into a viscous pool giving way beneath her; panicking Fig began running, or at least trying to; she only managed a few steps before she was sunk down to her knees, unable to feel a bottom of the trap; she kept trying, desperately, to pace forwards but she was quickly sinking deeper and deeper.

Ok, ok. Calm down, I can do this if I just keep calm. Trying her utmost to ignore her growing fear as the thick, crushing liquid rose up to her waist. Frantically she tried to focus her mind on her friends, her guitar; anything which might soothe the angry, living stone currently trying to drown her.

However nothing worked, Fig realised with mounting terror. As the concrete rose up to her chest Fig closed her eyes and did the one thing she could think to do, the one thing she did when she was scared and didn’t know what else she could do.

She thought of Adaine.

Instead of focusing on the awkward silence which had followed her disastrous phrasing she remembered her friend’s unrestrained laugh after she blew out her candles, the passion in her soft voice as she talked about the stars, how she’d made Fig promise to message her whenever, She clung onto the feeling of relief and happiness she’d felt when Adaine revealed that she knew what Fig looked like and had kept talking to her.

“I thought that you were beautiful.” Adaine’s words echoed with a sense of warmth and comfort in Fig’s mind.

Adaine wouldn’t get freaked out that easily. She decided.

I freaked out and she got confused then I read into her silence; and it’s not fair for either of us if I start to freak out like this without at least talking to her about it.

Eyes still closed, Fig reached for her locket which contained the message from Adaine; with a start she found that she could move her arms, opening her eyes and looking down she saw that she had been pushed out of the concrete, only her feet still covered by the unnerving grey material which she easily pulled out of, not wasting a second Fig ran to the end of the eerie tunnel and bent over panting at the end.

“By. Helio.” Kristen said, her voice shocked.

“That, was scary.”

“You’re telling me.” Fig winced as she rubbed her ribs which were still tender from being almost squashed by living concrete.

“How did you get out of that?” Gorgug asked with concern.

“Oh, you know just positive thinking; family and shit.” Fig replied awkwardly.

“We should probably keep going.”

They managed to pass through what remained of the maze without too much difficulty; there were only a couple more challenges and the magic seemed to be neutralised by their mental focus.

“How did you do that?” Goldenhoard’s booming voice shocked them all almost as soon as they finally left the maze.

“Oh hey Goldenrod!” Fig replied loudly, “what’s up?”

“How did you get through so fast, those magical defences should’ve taken you hours to get through?” The Vice-Principal ignored Fig calling him the wrong name.

“Are you sure you didn’t make it extra easy?” Fig winked.

“You, you stop that now!” Goldenhoard blustered before regaining his composure.

“How did you get past everything so quickly?”

“With the power of positive thinking!” Fig declared theatrically, throwing her arm up dramatically then wincing as the motion sent a shot of pain through her body.

Goldenhoard just looked at her sceptically.

“Well,” Gorgug began, “we just focussed on not wanting to hurt the end of the maze cause that kind of magic is all, like, intention and stuff y’know? So it wouldn’t hurt us if we definitely weren’t going to hurt whatever was at the end.” Goldenhoard looked confused for a few moments before seeming to catch up.

“Wow, that’s… ingenious. How did you come up with that?”

“Oh, you know; just reading and guesswork.” Fig said, dismissively, ignoring her friends’ confused faces.

“Well… I suppose since it’s clear that you’re going to have the fastest time by far you can… have an early afternoon I guess? Well done.” With that he paced off to start off the next Party.

“Why didn’t you tell him about your friend helping us?” Asked Riz, suspiciously.

“Oh, I just thought he might’ve thought it was cheating.” Fig said, waving her hand. While that might be partly true it felt wrong to Fig to involve Adaine in the rest of her life; her friendship with Adaine was a lifeline to her when everything else became way too hectic or intense and for some, not entirely clear, reason she didn’t like the idea of letting everyone in the rest of her life know about said lifeline.

“Now, I think we all deserve some ice cream, who’s in?” With that they headed off to Basrar’s, Fig thinking about how she could clear up the awkwardness with Adaine the next time that they spoke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
> 
> I'm going to take a break from writing for a while, I know I say that all the time then write five chapters but I'm not doing too great with my head right now and I don't want to just leave this work without an explanation, I'm really sorry if it ends up taking me weeks to post the next chapter.
> 
> Feedback is always appreciated.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait on this chapter; I'm suffering from a bit of burnout so I might not be able to update as often but I'll try and add chapters fairly regularly.

_ Adaine fell heavily to her knee, burying herself almost entirely in the thick snow which stretched out endlessly on every side, looking back she could no longer make out the tracks she’d left behind her during her hours of walking through the frigid substance, although wading was probably a more accurate term; despite the fact that there was no more falling the snow was constantly growing deeper, when she’d found herself in the featureless, flat wasteland Adaine had found the snow already up to her ankles but now it had passed her waist, given that she’d now collapsed it was up to her shoulders and still rising. _

_ Knowing she must leave or be completely buried Adaine attempted to struggle to her feet but her body wouldn’t respond to her mind’s commands. It was too cold. Her muscles felt like they were frozen solid under her skin which was somehow on fire. She’d been walking for hours, knowing if she just sat down like her exhausted body wanted her to she’d die here, alone in an empty tundra. _

_ Far in the distance Adaine could just about make out a minuscule shape, dark against the endless expanse of white. Maybe it was a person. She tried to stand, to shout, or just raise a hand in signal. But she had nothing left. Nothing left to give. She couldn’t keep moving forward. And with that Adaine bowed her head and allowed the snow to rise up over her face, filling her nose and ears; encasing her head and senses in darkness; the cold searing against her skin and making her want to scream. If she had any energy left with to scream. _

_ And so she knelt there, entombed in ice, the snow a million tiny knives slicing repeatedly at her skin. She would die here, Adaine knew it. There was now way she could escape this, not alone; and who would save her? So she let the cold consume her, let it penetrate every fibre of her being right down to the bone marrow, let it overtake every single one of her senses and thoughts. She let herself fall into darkness. _

_ As she felt herself drifting off into unconsciousness Adaine felt hands grab her under her arms and pull, dragging her out of the snow; the next moment she was wrapped in a warm embrace, she could feel herself being brought back from the edge of life and death; still she wasn’t really aware of what was going on. She could feel the cold around her disappearing and she was aware of the fact that she was now sinking; pulling away from her rescuers hug slightly Adaine looked around and saw the landscape around her changing. _

_ The snow was disappearing, melting rapidly to uncover a meadow of beautiful, fragrant wildflowers, and from somewhere hills and trees rose up, enclosing the previously boundless void of white into a concealed, protected glen. The snow which had by now almost entirely melted into warm water had flowed into a newly formed, rock-walled pool; the water rising up to Adaine’s shoulders; its warmth returning her brain to some semblance of clarity. _

_ Clarity which was promptly shattered when Adaine turned her head and Came face to face with her rescuer. _

_ “Fig?” She breathed. For a second time Adaine was stunned by Fig’s beauty; except this time it was much more intense seeing as they were only standing a few inches away. In water. Wearing significantly less clothes than last time. Adaine knew she was growing red and could feel a tightness in her chest as she tried to formulate words into some form of coherent sentence. _

_ “Adaine.” Fig said simply, with a small, breathtaking smile, Adaine noticed how the right side of her mouth skewed up slightly more than the left. She wasn’t sure why she noticed it but it was… cute. _

_ “I...I…” Adaine stammered, nervously. With a bigger grin Fig placed her hand on Adaine’s cheek and the wizard felt her anxiety lessen significantly. She looked at Fig’s face, searching it again and again; unable to take her eyes away from it. She noticed how Fig’s nose bent ever so slightly to the left; the result of some long ago collision, she gazed into her eyes and memorised each and every speck of gold which Ashe found in her reddish brown iris’. Adaine made a note of every single freckle adorning Fig’s cheeks, committing every single detail of her to memory: every small scar, each one perfectly imperfect, which adorned the Tiefling’s face, every hair in her eyebrows and every eyelash. Adaine wanted to be able to study Fig’s face for a lifetime and recall it at any moment. _

_ Adaine licked her lips, not noticing how dry they had become while she had been intently inspecting Fig until the girl in question’s amused look had partially brought Adaine out of her reverie. Adaine grinned awkwardly, aware of her own odd behaviour, then she looked up and gasped at Fig’s horns. _

_ The Tiefling wore an expression of terror as Adaine’s hand moved up to the base of her horns but they weren’t the thing which had shocked Adaine, she gently ran her finger tips over the scarred flesh around the base of them with sadness in her eyes, she looked back into Fig’s eyes and saw shame in them; then brought her hand down to cup Fig’s cheek tenderly. _

_ “What-?” She asked gently. _

_ “I… I err.” Fig started, uncertainty before stopping and starting again. _

_ “The night before we met… I… I freaked out. I just wanted them gone, so I tore at them, I yanked on them, I took a stone and I… I…” silent tears ran down her cheeks which Adaine wiped away, lovingly, Fig looked up at her and spoke with new determination. _

_ “Before I met you, I thought I was a monster. I didn’t think I could ever find anybody who wouldn’t hate me for how I looked. And then I met you. And you were nice, and kind and… amazing,” Fig laughed slightly, “You were kinder to me than anyone had been in months. And then you saw me… and you kept being kind, and you kept being nice and you kept being amazing. And you thought I was beautiful, and no one had ever said anything like that since my horns came in.” _

_ “You are beautiful Fig.” Adaine insisted. _

_ “You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen, and you’re the most incredible person that I’ve ever known and…” Adaine trailed off as the two girls both moved in, their faces close, just a fraction of an inch. Adaine could feel Fig’s breath on her mouth, could smell her hair; could almost hear her heart which was surely pounding as much as Adaine’s was.  _

_ One of Adaine’s hands was on Fig’s cheek; the soft skin sending shockwaves up her arm; the other was on her waist while one of Fig’s was tousled in Adaine’s hair, the other on her shoulder.  _

_ Both of them were breathing deeply as they moved in. _

_ Just as their lips were about to come together, so close that Adaine could swear she was feeling electricity bounce between them, they were pushed apart and Adaine was blinded by wings, hundreds; thousands.  _

_ Butterflies of all shades of blue were flapping up madly from beneath them, taking up her entire field of vision; looking down Adaine could see them flying up out of the water, no, not out of the water; they were the water. For a brief instance she saw a blob of water shooting up before morphing into a deep blue butterfly which took wing, eagerly. _

_ When the onslaught finally dissipated the scene around Adaine had changed once more; looking around she found herself in an endless sea of heather and wiry grass; looking around the moor she could see nothing of note until her eyes alighted on Fig; only a few yards away, across a narrow stream; barely a foot wide.  _

_ Without hesitation Adaine sprinted towards Fig, preparing to leap across the thin waterway; but halfway across the barrier she was stopped, suddenly and was aware of a hand wrapped around each of her ankles; she felt herself being dragged down; Fig turned to her with fear on her face; grasping desperately for her; Adaine reached back but Fig’s hand passed clean through her own and in the next instant she was pulled down, deep, deep down. _

_ She had no clue how long or far she fell; but it was a long way. No sunlight found her when she came crashing to the bed of the stream and came face-to-lack-of-face with what had grabbed her; Arianwyn and Angwyn Abernant. They were faceless, skin stretched hideously over their features, behind the, Adaine saw Aelwyn; she had all her features except her mouth which was covered with skin; however what caught Adaine’s attention were her sister’s eyes. They were both blue but one was a deep blue, it looked scared and childish; the other was ice blue: it was filled with malice. _

_ Adaine tried to scream as her parents' freakishly pale, dead hands reached for her but only a handful of bubbles shot out from her lips which were seized roughly. The next minute Adaine’s mouth was smiling back at her from her father’s hands. _

With a scream of terror Adaine shot up in bed, a second later a familiar voice filled her head.

“Adaine?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Feedback is always appreciated: I love getting comments, they always make my day.
> 
> Again; thank you for all the comments previous chapters have received.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, some plot important chapters are coming up so be prepared for that, also, I’m honestly I’m pretty happy with this chapter so I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Also, I was going through some previous chapters and remembered I gave Mr Gibbons the first name Hylobatidae. Past me thinks they’re so smart don’t they?
> 
> And what are you talking about? This work was always going to be forty chapters. I don’t know what you’re on about.

Adaine took a series of steadying breaths, rubbing her palms into her sleep filled eyes, before she answered Fig’s message; her brain was still trying to process the huge array of emotions which her dream had left her with when she replied in an unsteady voice.

“Hi Fig.”

“Are you Ok?” Fig had had a whole plan of how this conversation would go, she’d been so worried about any threat to her friendship with Adaine that she had been meticulous in her strategising. She’d even written notes which were sprawled on her bed in front of herBut the second she heard her friend’s breathless, wavering voice all thoughts of trying to explain away her phrasing last night or her behaviour following it fell away and she just needed to know she was ok.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. Yeah.” Adaine gushed; it wasn’t like she was actually lying, she wasn’t sure how she felt about that dream. It had felt so much more… real, than her previous ones. Even now she could feel the cold embedded in her bones, could still hear the bat of thousands of wings. 

Could still smell Fig’s hair, could still picture her face perfectly, could still feel the exhilaration of touching her, of having their lips so close.

Blushing deeply as she remembered how close she’d been to kissing the dream Fig, Adaine continued with her insistence.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Are you fine?” Fig asked with a small laugh, yet with concern still in her tone.

“Yeah.” Adaine replied, chuckling; relaxing slightly at the sound of Fig’s laugh.

“I err… I had a… dream.”

“A dream? Like a dream dream, or a ooooOOOooooOOoOOHhhhhhhh kinda dream?”

Adaine laughed, picturing Fig wiggling her fingers to indicate the mystical as she ‘ooh’ed.

“A oooooOooOooOOOhhhhhh kinda dream.” She replied, pulling her blankets tightly around her as she did; feeling oddly uneasy in her own room.

“What was it about?” Fig asked sympathetically, swinging her legs off of her bed and climbing into the windowsill, one leg hanging off the edge lazily as she gazed out of the circular window which faced the sea.

“Oh, errrm…” Adaine hesitated; she didn’t want to lie to Fig about her dream but then she really didn’t know how she felt about it and she didn’t really want to talk about it before she had some time to reflect on it. In addition, Fig had seemed kind of freaked out the last time they talked; after she said that thing about the date, Adaine hadn’t been able to work out why.

Did Fig think Adaine thought she meant a ‘date’ date? Or did she  _ want  _ to mean a ‘date’ date and hadn’t been prepared to say something like that? Did she think Adaine  _ wanted  _ her to mean a ‘date’ date?

Did Adaine want Fig to mean a ‘date’ date? Again, Fig’s intense, beautiful eyes filled her mind. Ok, she definitely wasn’t gonna think about that question right now.

But, in short, Adaine didn’t want to say something which might make Fig freak out again.

“Ah, y’know,” She said lightly, “snow, water turning into butterflies, faceless parents ripping my mouth off of my face.”

“Gods, Adaine.” Fig said softly, any thoughts of defending herself had completely left Fig’s head.

“That sounds horrifying. I mean, also super metal and gives me a great idea for a song, but mostly horrifying.”

“Yeah, not the first time something like that happened though; actually the night before you messaged me I saw my Father in his study without a face and I couldn’t get close to him, also Aelwyn was a cat and a rat at the same time.”

“What?”

“Like, I looked at this cat and it was also Aelwyn? But then she was also this rat that got eaten by the cat?”

“No, not that. Well actually yes that as well, and that’s super twisted and kinda awesome, but that’s not what I was talking about; what do you mean you couldn’t get close to him?”

“Oh right, I was in his study; he was at his desk and he just had skin where his face should’ve been and I tried walking towards him but I just couldn’t get any closer to him-“

“Don’t see why you’d want to.” Fig butted in, making them both laugh.

“And then I heard your voice call me, I turned around, opened the door and then woke up to you messaging me.”

“Wait-“ Fig said, after a confused silence.

“I thought you said this was  _ before  _ we started messaging?”

“Yeah, it was?”

“Then,” asked Fig in confusion, “how come you heard my voice?”

“I errr…” Adaine responded, awkwardly, “I really don’t know; I honestly don’t know how my dreams work… I… I don’t know. I’m sorry if I freaked you out.”

“No! No, not at all.” Fig replied quickly.

“No, it’s just a lot to process, y’know?”

“Yeah, I know. The first time I saw you I was  _ so  _ confused.”

“...Wait…” Fig said, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“First time?”

_ Shit. Shit. _ Adaine thought to herself as she felt anxiety rise in her chest.

“Yeah.”

“So, you’ve seen me more than once?”

“Yeah.”

“When?”

“Just now.” Adaine cringed, cursing her verbal slip up.

“Why didn’t you didn’t say anything?” Now Adaine was panicking.

“I’m sorry,” she said quickly, “I was just, it just kinda happened, and then I wasn’t sure what was happening really; and it was a lot, and I didn’t want to say anything about it before I worked out everything and then I really didn’t want to freak you out and-“

“Adaine, Adaine.” Fig cut in firmly before her friend could continue on with her rapid spiralling.

“Ok, Adaine: breathe.” Fig waited a few moments for Adaine to do as she said.

“And again.” After a few moments Fig spoke again.

“I’m not angry, Ok?”

“Really?” Adaine’s voice in that instant sounded so small, scared even that it broke Fig’s heart to hear from someone she knew was so strong and confident. She had never wanted to punch anyone as much as she wanted to punch Adaine’s parents right now for making her so terrified of getting in trouble.

“Really.” Fig confirmed, wanting nothing more than to give Adaine a hug.

“I’m really sorry.” Adaine’s voice was less scared but still small.

“I know, but you have no reason to be, I’m never going to get mad at you for something like that ok?”

“Ok.”

“And, please promise me that you’ll never hold something back because you’re scared of me getting angry at you.”

“I promise.”

“And I completely understand if you don’t want to but would you like to talk about it?” Fig asked after a brief silence.

“Like, the dream?”

“Yeah.”

“I… I don- I’m not sure.” Adaine replied, running her hand through her hair, closing her eyes and trying to recall the vision.

“It’s fine.” Fig said quickly.

“I don’t want to push you or anything.”

“No, no not like that, like, I don’t really know what was happening. I was in the snow… and it kept going on and on and then I collapsed and I… I felt…” Adaine had difficulty saying the next few words, her lips just didn’t seem to want to move in the correct way.

“I felt myself die.”

“What, like properly dead?”

“No…” Adaine hesitated as she tried to verbalise her thoughts.

“No, I was dying, I was on the edge of being dead but I just wouldn’t die.” Licking her dry lips Adaine looked around her dark room and shivered; she suddenly felt very alone.

“Then what happened?” Fig prompted after a moment.

“I errrr… I was dragged out of the snow and I… someone was hugging me? Then the snow melted and everything around me changed into this forest thing and then the snow had melted into water which became this pool and then…” Adaine trailed off awkwardly.

“Yeah?” Fig said gently.

“And then you were there.” Adaine blushed as she remembered how close they’d been standing to each other.

“You were the person who saved me and then we were both there in the pool, and it wasn’t like the last time I saw you; it wasn’t like a memory or something, it was much more… real? And then…” Again Adaine trailed off; she’d been about to say that they’d almost kissed and yeah, she’d  _ just  _ promised to not hold herself back from saying something, but this wasn’t because Adaine thought Fig might be angry; it was more of a not wanting to ruin her only friendship by telling them she’d dreamt about kissing them… kinda thing.

“I saw your scars.”

“Ah.” Fig replied; not really sure how to respond to that, hand sliding up instinctively to rub the skin at the base of her horns.

“And I know how you got them.” Adaine continued, uncomfortably.

“Yeah,” Fig said, forcing a laugh to cover how much it hurt remembering that night, “by being a melodramatic idiot.”

“No.” Replied Adaine, firmly.

“You had to deal with more than anyone should be expected to, I don’t know how I’d react in that situation. But I do know that it doesn’t make you an idiot.”

“I was weak.” Said Fig, softly as she rested her forehead against the cold glass of her window.

“Fig, you are the strongest, most amazing person I’ve ever known and you need to be easier on yourself, sometimes we do things we regret but those moments don’t define us, we define who we are and… you are anything but weak.”

“Thanks.” Fig replied after a while.

“No problem, I- I’m sorry I brought it up, you didn’t need that.”

“It’s fine.” Fig said dismissively, this was followed by quite a long silence which was eventually broken by Adaine.

“So, why were you messaging me?”

“Oh, err right.” Suddenly Fig was reminded of her intricate plans for covering her behaviour, looking towards the sheets strewn on her bed Fig continued.

“I just wanted to let you know how we did on the obstacle course thingy.” Adaine didn’t seem overly bothered about what she’d said and Fig concluded that she hadn’t thought she meant a romantic date.

Which she hadn’t meant. Definitely. Not even slightly. Even though she couldn’t seem to get Adaine’s voice saying that she was ‘the strongest, most amazing person’ she’d ever known.

“Of course, that was today; feels like ages ago we were talking about it, how’d it go?”

“Good, we beat everyone by a lot, nobody else worked out the thing about intentions so we did kinda fantastically, we really owe you one.”

“Oh, definitely; not sure how a bard could help me though.” Adaine teased.

“Oh shut up!” Fig guffawed, all the awkwardness she’d been feeling melting away easily.

“I’m sorry,” laughed Adaine, “but you always do that to me.”

“Yeah, that’s cause you’re a wizard.”

“Hey!” 

As it was late they didn’t talk for long before they said their goodbyes. Fig shoved her haphazard notes onto the floor and clambered inelegantly into bed, groaning in exhaustion as she dropped her head into the pillow heavily.

Adaine, however did the opposite; she climbed out of bed and went to her desk: she took out a notebook and began making notes; notes always made her own thoughts have more clarity and Adaine frequently wrote everything in her head down in order to make sense of it. After taking up a few pages with her tight, even handwriting Adaine had, in fact, come to a conclusion.

She had no idea what any of this was, and she needed to discuss her dream with someone else.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I really hope you enjoyed.
> 
> As always, please leave comments if you have the time; they really mean a lot to me.
> 
> Next chapters are gonna have other characters in them so they’re probably gonna take longer, sorry if it ends up taking forever.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so this is first chapter with another character in a while and a fairly plot important one so kinda nervous about this one, although to be fair that's true with all chapters... and pretty much everything I ever do.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter; I haven't written much of Aelwyn and I didn't love the dialogue she had in the first chapter to be honest so I hope this is better.

Adaine steeled herself before she raised her fist to the door in front of her and knocked twice.

“Yes.” Came the bored voice of her sister, it wasn’t a question, more an acknowledgement that whoever knocked could enter.

With a deep breath Adaine turned the ornate handle; swinging the door open apprehensively.

“Hi, Aelwyn.” The girl in question looked up from her work spread neatly on her desk, eyeing her younger sister in the mirror hung on the wall in front of her.

“Little sister.” She said, her haughty tone not betraying anything.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of your esteemed company.”

“I err… I need your… help.” Even after weeks of siking herself up for this the words still stuck in her throat. She’d never asked anyone for help apart from Fig, never let anyone have that power over her. Especially not her sister.

“Oh?” Aelwyn scoffed.

“You’re finally prepared to admit your shortcomings as a spellcaster and have come to me begging for my assistance in matters of the arcane?”

“No.” Something in the way Adaine had uttered the syllable struck something in Aelwyn who, hesitating for a moment, swung around on her seat and narrowed her eyes at the younger girl, noting how uncomfortable her sister was, clearly deducing that she didn’t want to be here and that whatever she was going to say it’d be interesting at least.

“Well come in then.” Aelwyn still spoke in her disinterested tone as she turned back to her papers, shrugging as if she didn’t care whether or not her sister stayed or left.

Adaine walked gingerly into the room; closing the door softly behind; even though the house was empty she wanted to be certain no one would walk in. She sat at the foot of Aelwyn’s bed, unsure of how to begin.

After a few moments of silence punctuated only by Aelwyn’s fountain pen scratching quietly on paper, Adaine finally spoke, her words prompting her sister to place the pen down and turn to fix her with a dangerous gaze.

“That girl… the one who kissed you. Who was she?” Adaine was genuinely slightly terrified, Aelwyn’s anger that day still haunted her and when she saw her sister about to explode again she hurried to elaborate.

“Please… I… Please?”

Aelwyn looked at her sister, her face was terrified; either of her or about what she was planning on asking for help with. Either way she clearly had a reason for doing this despite it scaring her; and it wasn’t like she’d been waiting all these years to ask her just to run off and tell their parents.

“Alys Amiikir.” Aelwyn’s tone was suspicious but her expression softened in the same way it always did whenever she thought about her girlfriend, seeing her sister’s expression of almost desperation she continued.

“My…” She had to force the word she’d never said to anyone else out, but it was doubtful that Adaine hadn’t worked it out by now. As much as she tormented her sister she knew that Adaine was extremely clever.

“Girlfriend.” While externally she maintained her neutral facade, internally Aelwyn was freaking out: both from terror and excitement at actually saying it.

“How did you know?” Adaine asked, leaning forward.

“Know what?” Aelwyn responded, still paranoid that this was some elaborate trap.

“That you… liked her?” Adaine’s eyes darted away awkwardly when she asked, unable to meet her sister’s eyes.

“Why?” Adaine looked back up at Aelwyn’s eyes, and they were so… pleading, so 

childlike even; that Aelwyn relented.

“I suppose I just… knew.” Aelwyn said awkwardly, she’d never had a conversation with her sister last this long without insulting her and it felt weird talking about something which she’d struggled to conceal from almost everyone in her life, something which she’d gone to great lengths in order to protect.

“Why do you want to know?” She asked when she saw Adaine deflate slightly at her answer.

“I… I sort of think I might kinda… like, someone.” Adaine diverted her eyes again, looking down at her hands as she dug her nails into her palms.

Aelwyn hesitated for a second before speaking.

“Who is she?” Adaine looked up in shock.

“How-?”

“Please,” Aelwyn snorted in dry amusement, “even you aren’t enough of an idiot to fall for the kind of boys at school and you don’t do anything else.” 

“I-“ Adaine began to object only to be cut off by her sister.

“You don’t. Besides, you wouldn’t have come to me if your little crush wasn’t abnormal.”

“It’s not abnormal!” Protested Adaine fiercely.

“Careful, little sister,” smirked Aelwyn, “that could almost be interrupted as disagreeing with the council.”

“The council isn’t always right.” Adaine mumbled, making Aelwyn smile slightly.

“Well, well. Who knew my little sister was such a traitor.”

“Can you please just help me?” Adaine asked, irritably.

“Very well. Who is she?”

“She’s… a friend.”

“Since when do you have friends?” Aelwyn asked; raising an eyebrow, struggling to not laugh at Adaine’s dark glare.

“Do you think she’s hot?” Adaine blushed deeply, amusing her older sister greatly.

“No, well, yes, kind of? I don’t know, she’s, she’s really, really beautiful and pretty but I… I don’t think that I like people… like that? She’s really nice to look at, and she just looks amazing. But I don’t feel, y’know, when I look at her… or anyone.”

“You don’t want to fuck her?” This time Aelwyn did laugh at her sister’s blush spreading across her whole face.

“No.” Adaine replied, very uncomfortably.

“So why do you think you might like her?”

“I’m not sure…” Adaine wasn’t particularly thrilled at the idea of telling her sister she had prophetic dreams.

“I just kinda feel… something?” Aelwyn was quiet for a moment.

“Close your eyes.”

“Why?”

“Do you want my help or not?” With a second of hesitation Adaine closed her eyes, cautiously.

“Ok, now: picture her face.” Aelwyn commanded.

Adaine did as she was bid, easily conjuring up the image of Fig’s face. Since her dream Adaine had been able to bring such an image to mind with very little difficulty and did so often. Mostly when she was talking to her friend but also sometimes when she was alone.

“Ok,” Aelwyn said after a few moments of silence, “how do you feel? How do you feel when you’re around her?

“Warm.” The word came to Adaine’s lips simply and easily; whenever she spoke to Fig or picture her face she felt like she was being embraced in a warm hug.

“And?” Aelwyn prompted.

“Safe.” When she spoke to Fig Adaine felt the stress and anxiety which plagued her in the rest of her life dissipate slightly, like her friend was a rock in a stormy sea.

“Anything else?”

“Loved.” Since first talking to the Solacian girl Adaine, for the first time really, knew what it was like to have someone genuinely care for her unconditionally.

“Not alone.” Adaine didn’t even wait for her sister to prompt her this time, the words just came to her.

“Real.” She wasn’t even entirely sure what she meant by that, just that it fit.

“What are her eyes like?” Something about Aelwyn’s voice sounded a bit off but Adaine ignored it.

“Like…”

“Don’t think about it, just say.”

“Like the stars. I could stare at them a lifetime and not see everything.” Adaine opened her eyes, laughing slightly at her own flowery language.

“I’m sorry, that probably sounded stupid.”

“I’m used to it.” Aelwyn said, dryly; her tone returned to usual but just for a moment, a tiny second there was just a flicker of something, almost like guilt? But then it was gone and Aelwyn was back to her normal self.

“I think you can work it out for yourself now little sister.” She said, turning back to her desk, signalling that the conversation was over.

“Yes,” Adaine responded, deep in thought, “I think I can. Thank you, Aelwyn. Can I ask you something?”

“I have a feeling that you’re going to.”

“How did you meet Alys.” Aelwyn was quiet for a few minutes.

“You remember that party when that ambassador to Highcourt returned?”

“Yes,” Adaine said bitterly, “You poured wine over my dress and told mother I spilled it.”

“That one,” Aelwyn agreed, not apologising, “after you left mother pulled me aside and told me I had to dance with the ambassador’s son; that petulant brat with two left feet. When I refused she was… angry; said I was ‘not to disgrace the Abernant name by being stubborn’ so she dragged me over to the ambassador and asked if ‘my daughter may have the pleasure of sharing a dance with his child’ he agreed and I was preparing to stop myself vomiting when I touched his clammy hands. And then Alys stood up; she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I felt like I couldn’t breathe,” Aelwyn laughed, a genuine, honest laugh remembering that night all those years ago.

“She said she’d be honoured to dance with me and took my hand before anyone said anything and dragged me out onto the dance floor. Turns out she was the daughter of the ambassador and mother had said ‘child’ so.” She shrugged.

“Later on she pulled me out onto a balcony away from everyone else and we looked at the stars together for hours, then she kissed me.” Aelwyn touched her cheek and grinned.

“We’ve been together ever since.”

“You're still together?” Adaine asked, seemingly snapping Aelwyn out of her reverie, her face returning to its stoic expression.

“Yes. Obviously we aren’t together as often as we’d like but… yes, we’re together.” Aelwyn’s tone indicated that she wanted her sister to leave.

Adaine stood up and walked to the door of her sister’s room. Just as she was about to leave, however, she turned back to her sister.

“Why were you so horrible to me when I saw her kiss you?” Adaine had expected a derisive snort in response, or silence, or a defensive and snide retort about her being too sensitive.

What she hadn’t expected was for Aelwyn to sag in her chair, place her face in her hands and say, in a very vulnerable, open voice,

“I was scared.”

“Of me knowing?”

“Of you telling Mother and Father. I couldn’t let that happen. I didn’t leave you alone with them for months after that. I… I couldn’t lose her.”

“I wouldn’t have told them anything.” Adaine said, honestly, Aelwyn let out a hollow laugh in response.

“I’m serious,” she protested, “why would I?”

“Please. Even then I was horrible to you, I was better than you at everything, Mother and Father loved me more, I was the favourite and you were always second. By telling them you would’ve suddenly been the favourite, your life would’ve become so much easier, and mine would’ve become so much harder. Why wouldn’t you tell them?” Ranted Aelwyn bitterly, sitting back up and glaring at her sister in the mirror. 

When Aelwyn finished speaking, Adaine was silent for a few moments, before shrugging slightly and replying simply.

“Because you’re my sister. And… I love you. 

Thanks for helping me Aelwyn.” With that Adaine left Aelwyn staring after her in silence and confusion. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> Any feedback is really appreciated and honestly I love getting absolutely any comments.
> 
> Also, I'm thinking that I'm going to increase my estimated amount of chapters again but cause I'm not sure I haven't changed it yet.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when this was gonna be six chapters? Well now there’s a very good chance that it’s gonna get up to sixty. So that’s fun.
> 
> Seriously, again, thank you all so much for the Kudos’ and comments, I cannot express how much all the support on this work means to me.
> 
> Even the fact that anyone is actually reading this and continuing to read it is just incredible to me, so thank you so much.

“So,” Adaine said sympathetically, “it’s tomorrow huh?” She had been trying to avoid bringing up the ordeal which her friend must face the following day but had decided she might want to talk about it and try to get some of the fear and stress to abate.

“Yeah.” Fig agreed moodily, chucking a pebble irritably out into an oncoming wave; she’d been trying her best to prepare for tomorrow for the past month or so but it still presented a terrifying obstacle.

“I don’t suppose you have some kind of super secret way of getting around this which no one else knows about because you’re so fucking smart?” She asked hopefully.

“I really wish I did.” Replied Adaine, sadly. Fig groaned in response.

“Sorry.”

“No, it’s not your fault.” Sighed Fig.

“I’m just… scared.” She shivered slightly in the cool night air as she admitted that. The days were getting colder and it probably wouldn’t be long before the first snow fell.

“It’s fine to be scared, it’s a perfectly natural thing.”

“Yeah… I know.” Fig replied softly, falling silent for a moment before laughing loudly.

“What?”

“It’s just… I would be more than fine murdering a bunch of vampiric-zombie-werebat fish people but this,  _ this  _ is what’s scaring me.”

“Vampiric-zombie-werebat fish people?” Adaine repeated slowly.

“Yeah, y’know: fish people who were bitten by werebats then bitten by zombies then bitten by vampires.”

“Well, if they’re vampiric they’re just parasitical so that doesn’t automatically make them vampires.”

“Well these ones are.”

“These undead, werebat, fish people?”

“Exactly.” They both laughed.

“Just because this isn’t as… lethal… doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to be scared of it.”

“Yeah… it’s just everyone else is happy about it; that we just have a normal test instead of some huge quest thing, but, like… I like being able to do stuff y’know? And I just hate the idea of being stuck there and having to focus on just one thing for hours.”

“That makes sense, it can be difficult to keep your mind on something for that long.”

“No, it’s not that,” Fig said in frustration as she struggled to verbalise how she felt, “well, yeah that, but also… I don’t know if I can do it.”

“The Exam?”

“Yeah, like, I can do quests and mazes and shit, I can do things physically and I’m good at stuff like fighting enemies or working out puzzles but…”

“But?”

“I’ve always been really bad at y’know, the other type of stuff; like sitting for ages writing one thing, and getting my thoughts onto the page. Like I know the answers and stuff, it’s just when I try to get them into  _ words  _ it feels like… like I’m trying to force much stuff into a really small hole… that sounds really stupid doesn’t it?”

“No, actually it makes a lot of sense, and it’s not the end of the world that you can’t do things like that, it just means-“

“That I’m an idiot?” Fig laughed humourlessly.

“No, that your brain works differently and that’s fine.”

“Basically the same thing.”

“No.” Adaine said firmly.

“You’re not an idiot Fig, you are  _ so  _ clever; just because you have a harder time doing exams doesn’t make you any less intelligent than someone who can do them easily.”

“Hmmm.” Fig’s tone was unconvinced.

“Ok, am I clever?”

“Well, Yeah, obviously.”

“Well then I’m telling you that you’re clever and because I’m clever I must be right.” Adaine’s determined tone made Fig smile slightly.

“Y’know,” she replied, “clever people can still be wrong sometimes.”

“Yeah, of course they can. Not me though, I’m right about everything, all of the time.” Fig chuckled a bit.

“Most of the time.”

“ _ All  _ of the time.” Insisted Adaine.

“I’m sure that’s not true.”

“Well, I am and I’m always right so…”

“Mostly right.”

“Tell me  _ one  _ time I’ve been wrong about anything.”

“I probably could if I could be bothered.” Fig laughed.

“Thanks.”

“For what?” Adaine asked, confused at the sudden sincerity in her friend’s voice.

“I don’t know… just being there for me I guess? I… I really don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have you to talk to. So… thanks.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Adaine replied, dismissively.

“I just wish I could do more. Are you sure you don’t want me to message you during the Exam? I kind of feel bad after you did it for me.”

“No, I really appreciate it but, if you’re talking or anything I’m gonna focus on you and not the paper. Thank you though.”

“No problem.”

“But could- never mind.” Fig said awkwardly.

“What?”

“Could… could you possibly just keep a hold of your stone if I… y’know, need you or whatever?” Asked Fig, nervously.

“Of course.” responded Adaine; slightly bewildered by Fig’s hesitant voice.

“Really? That’s not too much bother or anything is it?”

“Yeah, Fig; I’d do anything to help you, especially with something which is stressing you. If all I can do is just wait to see if you need me then that’s fine.”

“Thanks.” Fig said simply, gazing out unseeingly as she let her mind wander.

“Can… can you tell me more about stars please?”

“Like, astrology-wise?”

“Yeah, it’s just… nice I guess, I… I like hearing you talk.” Adaine smiled, feeling her insides warm at Fig’s words.

“Of course.” She responded, laying down on the soft sand and gazing up at the night sky.

“You see the Mother?” She said after a while, the constellation glistening bright against the dark nothingness.

“Yeah.” Fig replied, taking a moment to locate the cluster of pinpricks.

“Before history the first peoples awoke in the Forest of the Dawn. There each tree was gold or silver, the only light were the glistening stars and the trees themselves which gave off their own glow.

Every tree was always ladened with enough fruit to feed all of the first people, and for a long time the first people lived peacefully, thriving in harmony with the land and the animals. They survived off of fruits, berries and nuts the like of which haven’t existed for endless millennia; for years uncounted they lived there, no war, no disease, no famine. Everything was in perfect balance.

No one left the Forest, beyond its borders was a desolate wasteland where there was nothing but never ending sand in every direction and no light but the young stars, they had no reason to leave; everything was perfect.

Then Bana came.”

“Who?” Asked Fig in confusion, of course she’d heard myths about creation but had never really been interested in the ones concerning stars.

“The one who destroys. Something which wasn’t a God or a devil, it was… apart from this world, apart from the world of the Gods, it was some primordial being. Some people say it was the last surviving thing from a previous world which came before our own.

Where Bana went, death followed; it was different from Gutho, they were… angry, they wanted to fight against something. Bana just wanted chaos, pain and anguish. It wanted everyone to descend into mindless war, and it got its wish.

Bana passed through the first peoples turning them against each other, turning them against the animals, against the trees, even making them resent the stars themselves. The people became greedy, a tree which would’ve fed everyone was claimed by a single person, lands were split between different groups and the trees of Dawn and Dusk were felled to make walls, animals were stripped of their voices and forced into labouring for the peoples.

All the time Bana moved amongst them, taking on various forms and spreading webs of lies to envelop the whole Forest; making paranoia turn to hatred; greed to insatiable lust of power.

The few people who did not give in to his manipulation were persecuted and forced to the edges of the forest, clinging to the edge of light and darkness, forced to skulk around the lands which had once known peace. Those people still protected some of the only remaining animals.

One of those people was a woman named Byrthra. She was in love with a woman called Hleahtor who had rescued her from one of the emerging factions and since then they had become inseparable, even though the world they’d known was ending they still found some joy in their own company as the dark consumed the ligh, even though they knew there live was doomed.

Eventually the tension exploded into war. Bana killed one in ten of each faction; the first people to have ever been murdered. It wasn’t long before war burst forth like a flame, destroying anything; as the fighting raged on, growing bigger and more fierce the people on the edges of the Forest found themselves attacked; forced into slavery. And for the first time people left the Forest.

Hleahtor was one who left, however Byrthra was captured by one of the groups of warring peoples, she was tortured and made to torture others for her captors.

The war grew and grew, beyond what even Bana had envisioned. Eventually every single one of the people remaining in the Forest Came together in the centre and fought the last battle. Their hatred, the deaths, and pain and violence were beyond anything you can imagine, it destroyed them all, and so the Forest withered and died, the dry wood burning leaving nothing alive. Even Bana was overwhelmed and was almost entirely destroyed, the only thing remaining of him is the Dark.”

“The Dark?”

“Yeah, do you see that little patch of sky near the Raven? If you look closely it’s slightly darker than the rest of the sky?” 

It took Fig a moment but then she saw it, it was difficult to describe, it was like… nothingness surrounded by blackness? It was barely visible but once she saw it it looked like a tear in the fabric of space.

“Wow.” She said in awe.

“And the name they came up with was ‘The Dark’?”

“No one ever said astrologers were imaginative.” Adaine responded wryly.

“So, everything was destroyed?”

“Essentially, nothing survived. Nothing except Byrthra. Her love for Hleahtor burned so hot that not even the fire of creation could burn her, she ran through the burning Forest, she ran and ran until she burst through the last row of flaming trees, with no clue what to do she ran in the direction she had seen Hleahtor flee.

She kept running, across the barren desert of the world; the impossibly huge fire still burning bright behind her. It followed Hleahtor’s footprints or hundreds of thousands of miles, never giving up hope, her love keeping her alive against all the odds. 

Until she came to the shore of the sea and the trail went cold; the remaining animals and people had fled from the war to the edge of the water and found they could go no further; the water, taking pity on them split apart and allowed them to pass, closing behind them to protect them from pursuit.

So Byrthra laid down to die on a beach, but looking behind she saw that the endless desert had been replaced by grass, rivers, trees and mountains, all of creation sprouting from her tracks, the ash which had coated her from the fire gave birth to all life, in an imitation of the Forest of the Dawn.

As she died the fire at last died, the flames carrying the woman up and placing her among the stars as they themselves became the sun and the moon.”

“She never found Hleahtor?”

“No.” Adaine responded sadly,

“That’s so fucking depressing! Why would you choose that one to tell me!?”

“I’m sorry!” Laughed Adaine.

“Most of the stories about the stars are tragedies.”

“Why did people have to live such tragic lives? I’d never make such a depressing story.”

“I don’t think they chose to.”

“Well, I’m making a sweeping declaration that my life shall never be told as a tragedy.”

“I really hope that works out.” Adaine grinned 

“I can try and do a less upsetting one?”

“Honestly, I’d love to hear one but I should probably be going to bed, tomorrow’s gonna be hard enough without me falling asleep every ten minutes.”

“Yeah, that’s a good point, I’ll be here if you need to message me at any point don’t hesitate, ok?”

“Ok. Do you mind if I message you after I’m done, I’ll probably need to hear someone talk for a bit after all that silence.”

“Of course not.” Adaine smiled at her friend’s genuine and honest concern for her boundaries; feeling a familiar warmth in her stomach she felt whenever she thought about how caring Fig was. A warmth which scared and exhilarated her at the same time.

“Goodnight.” She said with a tired grin.

“Night.” Fig said, preparing to stand up from her sitting position.

“Fig?” Adaine called, surprising herself slightly as the word left her lips, she knew what she wanted to say but the idea of actually  _ saying  _ it made her heart palpitate in fear.

“Yeah?” Fig asked, stopping.

“I…” began Adaine, but she couldn’t say what she wanted to say, just couldn’t make her mouth move in the right way, her brain feeling like it was a vortex of whirling thoughts and worries.

“Yes?” Fig prompted, a touch of worry in her voice.

“I just… wanted to tell you… that I… I really…” Adaine swallowed deeply and struggled to control her heartbeat, willing her hands to stop shaking; fighting the urge to cry as the frustration at her own inability to say what she wanted to grew within her, mixing with her fears, the fear of rejection, the fear of ruining which was so important to her.

“Adaine?” Fig asked with concern.

“Are you Ok?”

“I really… hope you do well… y’know, tomorrow or whatever.” Adaine felt her insides twist angrily at her dramatically sudden turn.

“Thanks.” Fig responded in confusion, “Adaine, are you ok?”

“Yeah.” Replied Adaine, somehow managing to keep her voice level despite her rising panic.

“Just tired, y’know.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yep, night.”

“Goodnigh-“ Adaine dropped the stone from her hand into the sand before Fig could finish the word; allowing the wave of anxiety to wash over her: sobbing uncontrollably as she tried desperately to control her breathing.

When she finally managed to bring her own mind back under her control she took a deep breath before picking the stone back up to make sure Fig hadn’t been messaging her in concern, she hadn’t. 

Adaine groaned and lay back heavily onto the sand, covering her face with her hands and cursing herself for being unable to say what she’d been desperate to say.

What she hadn’t been fully sure she wanted to say or even sure she thought until she’d been on the verge of saying it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok. Guys. I know. I know I have a problem with writing hundreds of words of random lore and shit, and I’m sorry.
> 
> I’d say I’m not gonna do it again. But that’d 100% be a lie.
> 
> Thanks for reading this chapter, I really hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Feedback and comments are always really appreciated, now that I’m getting into actual romantic attraction kinda stuff, I’m not particularly confident with how I’m writing it, so feedback on that especially would be great


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really, really enjoyed writing all the unplanned fluff but the feeling of the plot starting to come together is awesome.
> 
> Next few chapters are gonna be super plot important so it might be a while before I get them finished, like a week or so for each; Sorry if it ends up taking a while.
> 
> Again, thank you so much for reading, and thanks to everyone who has left comments or kudos.

“Hey, Fig?” Kristen’s voice made the bard jump slightly as she hadn’t noticed her friend walk up to her.

“Yeah?” She said after recovering slightly.

“Can I… Can I talk to you?” Kristen asked nervously.

“Of course.” Fig responded, a touch of concern in her voice; she’d become close with the cleric over the past couple of months and she had never seen Kristen this anxious about talking to someone.

“Can we go somewhere more… private?” The red headed girl asked, peering over her shoulder as if someone was spying on her. Fig looked around as well, while there were still a large number of people filing out of Aguefort after the long exam not many were standing near them; whatever Kristen wanted to talk about must be serious.

Fig hesitated for a moment, she’d just been about to head to the beach to message Adaine, the Exam had been exhausting, trying to coherently explain how to avoid certain traps or different magical effects had gotten her very frustrated and she really needed to rant, or to hear Adaine explain something about the stars or magic or something. But Kristen did seem quite nervous in her body language, eyes flitting from side to side, hands twiddling uncontrollably.

“Yeah, sure.” She answered after a second, knowing that she should make sure her friend was ok.

“I was gonna head down to the beach, is that cool?”

“Yeah, Yeah; sounds good.”

The two of them walked down to the beach; there were very few people around and they easily found an empty part, yet Kristen was still very tense; on the whole walk down to the sea she had barely said anything, which was unusual. The cleric was usually the member of the group most likely to strike up conversation and so her silence was troubling.

“So,” Fig asked, hoping that the concern wasn’t  _ too  _ evident in her tone, as they sat on the sand, both facing the sea, “what’s up?”

Looking around furtively Kristen took a deep breath.

“You’re… y’know… like, you, y’know, you like… like, you don’t like, or don’t just like- you’re not, you’re aren’t… like, I don’t think I, I’m not sure… I just, I really… like, I don’t want to assume anything but you’re like…” again she looked around, before whispering.

“You’re… gay... right?”

Fig sat, staring at Kristen for a few moments, blinking as she tried to translate that rambling into a coherent understanding, then tried to formulate a response.

“I’m…? Oh. Right, yeah; well not  _ gay  _ necarssarily; I’d say I’m queer.” Fig knew she was attracted to people who weren’t men, but she still wasn’t comfortable with using a more narrow label.

“Queer?”

“Yeah, it’s… kinda like an umbrella term I guess? I’ve tried using other labels, but right now none of them really… fit? So right now I’m using queer, I might find something I like better at some point or maybe I’ll stick to queer.”

“Well… it’s just… I think that I… I might be… as well?”

“Queer?”

“Yeah, well… gay.”

“Oh, um; Ok, that’s great!” Fig was slightly unsure about how to react, obviously she'd kind of guessed that Kristen wasn’t straight basically from when they’d first met but her friend was clearly nervous about this and Fig didn’t want to say the wrong thing.

“And, like, there’s nothing wrong with that. You know that right?”

“I think?” Kristen seemed really unsure, her brow furrowed. Although she seemed to have relaxed slightly after she’d actually said the words.

“Like, since coming to Aguefort; I’ve realised that so much I got told growing up is wrong: like just… seeing people who aren’t Helioic and don’t do what Helio commands but are still good people. According to everything I learned, they wouldn’t go to heaven, they are bad people.

And that’s just not fair, if the church is right, then so many caring, kind, amazing… beautiful…” Kristen trailed off and then blushed as she snapped back to reality.

“People will get punished. And if Helio punishes people like that then surely that’d make him… evil?” She whispered the word, like she’d be struck down by divine judgement if she said it any louder.

“Oh, well I guess? I mean, I don’t know too much about the history of the church but, like, could it be possible that it’s… changed whatever Helio said?”

“Yeah, maybe. But even though I’m starting to doubt all that stuff… I still feel wrong when… when I think about women… romantically. Like I’m doing something wrong.” Kristen’s voice wavered slightly as she talked and Fig put her arm around her, pulling her head onto her shoulder, resting her own head on Kristen’s.

“You’re not.” She said firmly.

“If it was wrong to think about women like that why would whoever made everything, make them so amazing?”

“They are pretty amazing.” Kristen’s chuckled sadly.

“How did you know you were… queer?” She asked after a brief silence, saying the word like she was feeling how it felt on her lips.

“I errr…” Fig thought for a moment, realising she wasn’t really sure, she couldn’t pinpoint a moment when she’d, at least internally, started using queer to describe herself, she’d known she’d been attracted to women for a long time, but on the first night she talked to Adaine she’d just said it was a ‘whole thing’ so it must’ve been at some point in the past few months that something made her comfortable using the word.

“I’m not really. It just kinda… happened?” Fig chuckled slightly, making a mental note to try and work that out later.

“How about you?” Kristen didn’t say anything for a while, but Fig could tell she was preparing to speak.

“You know that girl we ran into at the Black Pit when you dragged us there and I ended up spending the whole night talking to her?”

“Oh yeah.” laughed Fig, recalling the night a few days after the Maze when she’d managed to convince the rest of the Bad Kids to go to the club with her as thanks for saving them from failing.

“That was fun.”

“It ended in a huge brawl between overly sexual vampires and Werewolves and we barely got out of it alive, Fabian got bitten by a vampire and Gorgug got scratched by a Werewolf.” Kristen reminded her.

“They were fine,” Fig protested, “besides, all the best nights end with a huge fight between the undead and Lycanthropes. Anyway, Yeah I think I know who you mean, had a wolf top on? Tracker or something right?”

“Yeah… Tracker.” Fig could hear her friend’s smile as she said the girl's name.

“We spent the whole night talking about Helio and all the bad things his followers had done, and all the contradictions in the corn bible and then…” Kristen trailed off dreamily.

“And then?” Prompted Fig.

“And then, she kissed me.” Again Kristen’s grin seemed to resonate in her tone; when she pulled away to look at her Fig saw she was also blushing deeply.

“Kristen. Applebees.” Fig’s voice was half accusatory and half celebratory.

“You had your first kiss and you didn’t tell me? I’m hurt.” She clapped a hand dramatically over her heart, Kristen just beaming stupidly.

“Then what happened?”

“Well the massive fight kinda ruined everything but… she gave me her number, and we’ve been talking quite a bit, and met up a few times… and I think that we’re girlfriends now.” Fig let out a squeal of excitement.

“Oh my Gods! Congrats!” She said punching Kristen’s arm playfully.

“Have you kissed again yet?” The Bard asked excitedly.

“No, I’m still kinda nervous about everything and I don’t want to rush anything and ruin it y’know?”

“Yeah, That makes sense; but Kristen! I’m so happy for you!” Fig wrapped her arm around her again and hugged her.

“Have you told anyone else yet?”

“No, my family is… very… traditional. I’m honestly kind of worried about what they’d do if they found out or anything.”

“Gods, Kristen… I’m so sorry that sucks.”

“Yeah.” Kristen shrugged sadly.

“But it is what it is. I will tell them, just… when it’s the right time, and when I have somewhere to stay if I need to.”

“Well, you’re always welcome to crash at my place if you want. Personally I’d find somewhere else if it’s more than a night or two… can’t imagine me and my mom screaming at each other would make for good company.” Fig laughed slightly, trying to lighten up the mood while simultaneously assuring her friend she’d be there for her if anything bad were to happen.

Kristen was silent for a second before replying.

“Thanks, can I ask, why don’t you and your Mom get along? Like it’s fine if you don’t want to answer, but I’ve not really heard you talk about your parents.”

“It’s fine: Mom fucked a demon, Dad didn’t find out ‘till these came in a few months ago.” Fig said, flicking one of her horns.

“Then my Dad left and my Mom blames me.”

“Wow.” Said Kristen, shocked.

“That’s fucked up.” She added in a sympathetic voice.

“Yeah, but it is what it is.” Fig replied, quoting Kristen’s words.

  
  
  
  


“Well,” Fig said after a while, breaking the awkward silence, “who’d’ve thought it? Kristen Applebees, the first Bad Kid to get a girlfriend.”

“Huh? But what about…? I mean, I know you said you weren’t but, I kinda thought… like it just seemed kinda obvious that you… y’know? Liked her?”

“Liked who?” Asked Fig in confusion, pulling away from the hug and turning to face Kristen.

“Adaine?” Kristen said simply.

“What? No, no she’s just a friend, we’re not a couple or anything, I don’t like her like that, no. Just friends.” Fig said, her brain short circuiting slightly.

“Oh, sorry I just… forget it I’m sorry.”

“Wait, why did you think we were… together?”

“Well, I mean: y’know?” Kristen replied awkwardly.

“Not really?”

“Well, you talk to her for hours-“ 

“Ok, that doesn’t mean anything.” Fig cut in.

“And how do you know that?”

“Riz was wondering why you kept going to the beach at night so followed you and saw you talking on your stone for basically the whole night.”

“Firstly, that’s creepy, and secondly that’s just a friend thing.” Fig said, waving her hand dismissively.

“We’ve never talked all night.” Kristen pointed out.

“Well no but-“

“And then, the way you were talking about her in detention on the first day… you looked like how I feel when I’m thinking about Tracker.” Kristen stopped speaking to allow Fig to argue but since the Tiefling remained quiet she pressed on.

“And then, whenever you're stressed by something you touch that locket on your neck.”

“How do you know that has anything to do with Adaine?” Protested Fig, Yeah maybe it did but Kristen didn’t know that.

“Does it?”

“...”

“And then in the Exam today you kept reaching into the pocket where you have the stone.” Again Fig was silent.

“And what’s her surname?”

“...Abernant.”

“And what surname did you use in detention?”

“...Abernant.”

“Exactly.”

Fig was silent, she could’ve very easily made arguments against all of Kristen’s points, could’ve pointed out that none of them necessarily pointed to a romantic attraction, or even anything more than friendship. But as the cleric had talked it had felt like a fog clearing inside her mind, and she started to realise that the feelings she felt for Adaine weren’t strictly platonic. She remembered how Adaine’s stories about the stars made her feel; so at peace. She remembered how she felt whenever Adaine complimented her. She remembered how it felt like her heart was going to burst when she’d heard Adaine say she was beautiful.

“Well,” She said, staring off into the distance as her brain quietly imploded, “shit.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not entirely sure I’m happy with this chapter (surprise surprise) and I might rewrite it a bit at some point, but hopefully not too much.
> 
> I’m really sorry if the dialogue reads weirdly, I don’t really talk to people that often so it might not be amazing.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed, Feedback is always appreciated!


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so kinda a short chapter; basically there's stuff coming together and I'm just getting things into the right place, I'm super excited about the future chapters, I've actually written bits of them already. It's going to be good.

Neither Fig nor Adaine had said much: they were sitting in a silence which was much more awkward than the usual, comfortable lulls in their conversations. Eventually Adaine broke the tense quiet.

“Errrm, so how- How did your exam go?” Adaine’s chest was tight, she’d been freaked out about… about what she’d almost said yesterday, all day; and judging by Fig’s silence she knew something was going on.

“Good, Yeah; like, it was difficult and I’m really glad it’s over but… I don’t think I did too badly.” For the first time since meeting Adaine Fig was struggling to think of something to say, it felt like her brain was actively working against her conscious thought to always thrust the same fact to the forefront of her mind, which was something she really didn’t want to blurt out right now.

Clearly Adaine had picked up on her being weird as she wasn’t saying much either so Fig redoubled her efforts to fill the silence. Fucking hells she wished she’d taken a moment to calm down before messaging Adaine; but as soon as Kristen had left to, as she put it, give Fig some time to think Fig had been suddenly possessed of the need to message her newly realised crush. As soon as she’d heard Adaine’s voice Fig had realised that she had absolutely no clue of what she wanted to say.

“But errr…” she eventually broke the silence, “at least it's the last, like, major thing until after break so that’s good y’know?”

“Break?” Adaine immediately latched onto the tenuous conversational avenue, desperate to fill the silence and make it less obvious that she was so freaked out.

“Yeah, we get two weeks off for Solstice, that’s three weeks from now… ummm… do you have Solstice in Fallinel?” Fig was doing her best to keep the conversation going.

“Yes, well, as a country we have celebrations for Solstice and also it’s a day of powerful prophetic powers so that’s always important for us, but it’s kind of a… common holiday?” Ok, this was good; Adaine could complain about her family and the rigid social structure of Fallinel with Fig for hours.

“Common?” Fig prompted.

“Yeah, So, basically, we have some holidays which the more lower class people celebrate and then the upper classes kinda view them as ‘unrefined’ and they… or I guess we… celebrate more, solemn occasions?”

“Like what?” Ok, this is fine; Fig could listen to Adaine complain about Fallinel for hours, and it gave her time to try and calm her mind which was still freaking out about her  _ very  _ newly realised feelings.

“Well, we have the days of the stars, basically on specific days certain stars have more… astrological power, so for example the Raven is most reliable this year on the day of Solstice so all the upper class people will be celebrating that instead of Solstice.”

“Wait, Wait, Wait.” Fig said, something Adaine had said triggered a memory in the back of her mind, her brain immediately becoming much more focused on the conversation.

“I thought the Raven was a bad sign? Didn’t you say that it warned of doom and shit? Why would someone celebrate it?”

“Wait,” Adaine replied, her mind calming, “ you remember that? That was months ago I told you that one.”

“Well… Yeah?” Fig said, slightly awkwardly.

“I mean, you’re really interested in the stars and shit, and it’s nice to hear you talk about stuff you're interested in, so I errr… remember?” She finished with a laugh.

Adaine was silent for a moment, a contented smile on her face. Without her really realising her chest and breathing had relaxed. When she answered she didn’t feel the same urgency to fill the silence as she had before.

“Yeah, well; the Raven isn’t an omen of doom, like The Stranger, it warns of approaching doom, so it  _ is  _ benevolent but you also don’t really wanna see it in your cards. And ‘celebrate ‘ was probably the wrong way to describe it, more like acknowledging it I guess.”

“Right, well then when are some fun signs? Like the lovers?” Fig asked, no longer trying to push the conversation but because she was genuinely interested.

“Ok, so,” Adaine thought to herself, “in three years it’ll be June 23rd, so... June the twentieth this year.”

“Why do you know when it’ll be in three years?”

“Oh, I had a vision that that day will be important a while ago, and I was looking up some stuff about it.”

“Ah, What does that being the day of The Lovers suggest?”

“To be honest it could be a lot of things.” Adaine grimaced.

“Because The Lovers aren’t very popular there’s not a huge amount written about them so what they predict could be anything from Lovers reuniting, to enemies forming a truce, or love saving the world, lots of stuff.”

“Could be an interesting day,” Fig mused, “I’ll have to keep an eye out for it. So you think that Solstice is going to be bad?”

“Not necessarily,” Adaine pondered, “it could be the downfall of something which is bad y’know? Like some evil person dying, usually it’s pretty vague to be honest so that the astrologists can argue they predicted whatever happens.”

“Do you think that you can see the future in the stars?”

“Kind of? I don’t think stargazing can make particularly useful predictions by itself but it’s useful when it’s used in combination with other ways of discerning the future, so when I have dreams I check the stars to try and help me work out what the dreams meant.”

“Hmm… I had a dream where I was attacked by these super cute corn gremlin things. What do you think that means?”

“I’m… honestly not sure, I have never really looked into the prophetic symbolism of corn. I guess you were scared of something which seemed ridiculous but your subconscious knew it was a legitimate danger and so it manifested something dangerous which was also cute?”

“Sounds about right.” Considered Fig.

“I asked Kristen, ‘cause, y’know, corn, and she just said ‘God is evil’.”

“Oh,” Adaine replied awkwardly, “umm, is she… doing ok?”

“Yeah, well I think so. She’s just dealing with some religious stuff right now, crisis of faith or whatever.”

“Sounds fun.” After a moment of silence they both laughed slightly.

“Sometimes I wish I had that y’know?” Adaine said after a bit.

“What?”

“Faith, religion or whatever. I see some people who actually follow Galicaea and it actually seems to give them a lot of comfort, but just so many of the people I grew up with basically just act like they follow her then completely ignore everything she says and I guess I don’t want to be like them, but at the same time the thought of Galicaea or really any God doesn’t really give me comfort.”

“Yeah,” Agreed Fig, “That makes sense.”

“Are you religious?”

“Not really, I was kinda; but I guess finding out that you’re half demon puts a strain on your relationship to the divine.” Fig joked, before falling silent.

“What’s wrong?” Adaine asked, immediately picking up on her friend’s sadness.

“It’s nothing.”

“Fig?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m not gonna try and make you talk about it but… if you want to, I’d be more than happy to listen.”

“Thanks.” Fig smiled slightly.

“It’s just… this is going to be the first Solstice since… since my horns came in. And, it’s just gonna be weird, Gilear not there anymore and I really don’t plan to have a super awkward dinner with my Mom so I’ll figure I’m just gonna be wandering around or hiding in my room all day.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Adaine responded sympathetically.

“Can you not do something with your friends?”

“Nah, they’ve all got decent parents… well except Kristen but her parents are super religious so they’ll want her in church all day. But everyone else will be spending it with their families and I don’t really want to force my way into their family.”

“Well…” Adaine started before stopping.

“Yeah?” Prompted Fig.

“I mean, if you wanted to I could probably get away from my family by saying I wanted to study the clouds or something… so I… we could spend the day together... If you wanted to.”

“Wait, really? You wouldn’t mind doing that?” Fig asked, taken aback slightly.

“No, I’d much rather spend the day with my family discussing what doom may befall various people I don’t care about and have probably only met once when I was a child.” They both laughed.

“Yeah,” Fig said after a moment, “Yeah, I’d like that.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I really hope you enjoyed!
> 
> As always I'd love to hear any feedback you have!


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m just gonna write all night instead of sleeping to distract myself from how much I hate my existence right now, that’s healthy right?

“Ok,” Riz said, exasperatedly pinching the bridge of his nose as he looked up from his book, ‘on the subject of poisons and venoms by arch witch Comley’ and turning to the rest of the Bad Kids, “I feel like if we just don’t do anything stupid then we should be fine. We’ve done well enough in the other tests and things so even if we do absolutely crap it shouldn’t be too bad.”

“Yeah, I guess it’s not like last time where everyone else had an advantage over us; we’re all going into it with not much clue what we’re facing.” Kristen agreed, dog-earring a page in her book of ‘The infernal living and the Divine undead’.

“Hmmm, I suppose so,” Fabian drawled, “I still think it’s bullshit just springing this in the last week of term.”

“We still agree with you.” Gorgug replied.

“Yeah, no one’s disagreeing with you.” Kristen added.

“So I’m not allowed to complain?”

“Not fifty times in a couple of hours.” Riz responded as he stifled a yawn.

“It was  _ not  _ fifty.” Fabian protested.

“It was fifty, back me up here guys?” Riz turned to the other three.

“It was fifty.” Kristen agreed immediately.

“Gorgug?”

“I’m… not sure, I don’t think it was fifty though.”

“Ok, Fig we need a tie break.” Fabian said, turning to face Fig who hadn’t said anything in this conversation and seemed to be staring off into the middle distance, she didn’t respond to Fabian or even give an indication that she’d heard him.

“Fig?” Riz asked, putting his hand on her shoulder.

“Hmm, Sorry? What?” The Bard jumped slightly as she was pulled out of her reverie.

“Was it fifty or not?” Fabian asked.

“Yeah, sure exactly.” Fig responded, the others exchanged glances.

“Hey Fig?” Gorgug said.

“Yeah?”

“You ok?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well it’s just that you’ve kept… phasing out, and it’s not like you to miss an opportunity to mess with Fabian.”

“Yeah, I’m just… tired.” Fig replied, dismissively.

“It’s not just today,” Riz pointed out, “you’ve seemed really distracted for the past couple of weeks-“

“Hmmm, very distracted.” Kristen cut in under her breath, smirking until Fig glared at her and she schooled her face into a neutral expression.

“And we’re just a bit concerned that there’s something going on.” Riz continued, ignoring the interruption.

“Yeah,” Kristen added, struggling to control her grin, “you seem  _ really  _ preoccupied.”

After shooting another glare at Kristen who giggled slightly Fig sighed.

“Honestly, I’m fine… I’m just dealing with some… stuff.” She wished she could’ve come up with a better deflection but it was all she could come up with on the spot.

“What kind of stuff?” Gorgug asked in concern.

“It really isn’t that important.”

“If it’s been going on for the past few weeks it seems kind of serious.” Riz said.

“Fig, we’re just worried about you; you can talk to us ok?” Fabian added. Fig was about to reassure them again that she was fine but seeing her friends’ determined expressions and Kristen’s amused one she admitted defeat, groaning and then burying her face into her hands in embarrassment.

“I… have a crush.” She didn’t need to be able to see her friend’s faces to know that they’d all be wearing exceptionally annoying expressions.

“Is it on your friend?” Riz asked.

“The wizard?”

“Yep.” Fig responded uncomfortably, not moving her face from her hands.

“Is she cute?” Fabian asked.

“Well, that’s kinda the problem… I have no idea what she looks like… cause we’ve never actually… y’know… met?”

“Wait, what?” Kristen asked in surprise, a sentiment which Fig saw was echoed by the other Bad Kids’ faces when she brought her head back up to face them.

“How can you just have  _ not  _ met?” Gorgug asked.

“Ok, so, let me explain,” Fig hesitated, “no there’s too much, let me sum up.” 

Fig took a deep breath before launching into explanation.

“Basically, months ago I passed out on the beach after melting down and trying to rip my horns out of my head, when I woke up I found this bottle…”

“And then Kristen kinda made me realise that I may or may not have a giant crush on her and that’s super stressful cause she’s my best friend and for a while she was my only friend and I’m just really worried that if I say anything it’ll ruin everything and I  _ really  _ don’t want to lose her, I… I don’t know what I’d do if I did, and even if she did, y’know, reciprocate my feelings or whatever, then I have no idea what that’d be like? Like, I’m just not sure how a… how a relationship would work if I don’t actually know what she looks like, and it’s unlikely we’d ever be able to meet, and, like, maybe it’d be better to not say anything y’know? ‘Cause then I wouldn’t lose her and we could keep doing what we’re doing which is great, even if it’s not perfect, but then also… I want more… but then is that just selfish of me? Like, I know our friendship is super important to her and I’d hate to do anything to mess that up if she doesn’t want anything more; and like, that’d be fine, i'd be fine still being friends if that’s what she wanted but maybe she’d get freaked out that I thought of her as something more and she’d not want to keep being my friend. And that’d suck  _ so  _ much ‘cause… ‘cause she’s amazing…” Fig trailed off.

“And I really don’t know what to do, so help?” She finished, after her rant the library was deafening in its silence, the other Bad Kids just staring at her, still trying to process everything she’d said.

“Ok.” Fabian said.

“What?”

“Yeah,” Kristen agreed, “What?”

“Listen,” Fig replied, groaning, “if you want me to repeat  _ all  _ of that-“

“No,” Riz stopped her, “it’s just that, that was… a lot?”

“It wasn’t that much.” Protested Fig.

“It was a lot.” Replied Gorgug.

“Ok,” Fig conceded, “maybe the details get a bit convoluted, but it boils down to the fact that I have a crush on my best friend who I’ve never actually met, will probably never meet who lives in a county an ocean away which is frequently at war with the country I live in, an I don’t know whether to risk our friendship by telling her or to basically lie to her by  _ not  _ her.”

“Ok,” Kristen replied after a moment, “but, you see how that’s still a lot right?”

“Listen can you help me or are you just gonna keep complaining?” Fig asked irritably.

“Well, it’s difficult.” Kristen said.

“I mean I’m the only one of us with a girlfriend.”

“You don’t have to keep bragging about that.” Fabian sighed.

“Yeah, but I can,” Kristen responded smugly, “watch this: I have a girlfriend and you don’t.” Fabián just rolled his eyes over dramatically.

“Guys? Help?”

“Oh, right,” Kristen said, turning her attention back to Fig, “well, is this just like a crush, or is it more than that? Like, could this just be a short term thing you might get over or do you actually love her?”

“Woah, woah, woah,” Fig said, flustered, “no one’s talking about love here, Alright?”

“I mean… aren’t we?” Riz asked

“Well, like, I think I  _ like  _ her, like romantically, and I love her but not, like, love love.”

“Don’t you?” Probed Gorgug.

“No! I mean, I don’t  _ think  _ so?” Fig pinched her nose as her thoughts began to swirl.

“Ok, what do you like about her?” Kristen asked.

“I mean… she’s just… great y’know?” Fig shrugged.

“She’s just so smart, and funny and she just knows so much stuff about everything and it’s just amazing, and she’s  _ so  _ kind, she listens to me talk about my Mom, and Gilear, my horns, school, music and everything, no matter how much I rant about stuff she doesn’t mind. She makes me feel… calm? Like, when I’m talking to her it…” she laughed as the words sounded ridiculous.

“It feels like a hug… and she’s so strong, she puts up with so much shit from her parents and her sister and her school but she keeps going. She’s the strongest person I’ve ever known… she’s just amazing, and… perfect… and… and I’m in love with her.” Fig gave a disbelieving laugh.

“I’m in Love with her.” She said it again, the words warming her insides and if felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders as she accepted what now seemed an inarguable truth, that she was in love with Adaine Abernant.

“I think you should tell her.” Kristen said, smiling as her friend had her epiphany. Fig found herself nodding before the logical part of her brain caught up.

“Why?”

“Because even just saying that there you look happier than I think I’ve ever seen you and saying it to her…” Kristen shrugged.

“I just think you should go for it.” The other Bad Kids murmured in agreement.

“But… but what if she doesn’t… What if she doesn’t want me?”

“What if she does?” Riz asked.

“Wouldst thou live a coward in thine own esteem letting ‘I dare not’ wait upon ‘I would’?” Fabian said, raising his hand dramatically, when he was met by blank stares he sighed.

“You can’t not do something just because you’re worried about the consequences.” Fig nodded but didn’t say anything.

“You don’t have to tell her today or even soon, you can just wait for the right time… but you should never be scared of telling someone how you feel, and for what it’s worth, I don’t think she’ll reject you and even if she does… you’ve got us.” Kristen reassured her, placing her hand lightly on Fig’s arm.

“Thanks.” Fig said awkwardly.

“Now, What was Fabian wrong about?”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed.
> 
> Feedback is always appreciated.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Just FYI there is a giant spider in this chapter<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
> 
> Dream sequence! There'll probably be more Dream Sequence chapters in the future but this is the last one I had planned and honestly it's been really fun writing them, even if this one was super stressful.
> 
> Ok, so I wrote this chapter immediately after the last one while my head was being kinda shit so it might not be great, but I find it super difficult to reread my work so we're just gonna go for it.
> 
> Also tbh I sort of didn't want to post this chapter after everyone being happy about Fig's realisation last chapter, but if I have to suffer then so do you guys

_ She had to save Fig. _

_ That was the only thought in Adaine’s head as she sprinted through the endless dark cavern, she clambered up a slippery, cold, stone wall; cutting her hands on the jagged rocks as she pulled herself up, higher and higher, her muscles straining, her lungs bursting as she desperately thrust one hand above the other; ignoring the pain, ignoring the height, ignoring everything except gone crucial thought, the only thought of importance. _

_ She had to save Fig. _

_ After what could’ve been minute or could’ve been days of brutal, draining climbing; Adaine’s hands found an edge and she instinctively pulled herself up, not even taking a moment to stop and rest before she gritted her teeth and got to her feet, ignoring the searing pain in her muscles; again running, unable to see anything in the lightless cave she slipped many times and landed heavily, cutting her knees and elbows, blotting out the sound of her bones connecting with the rocky ground accompanied by ugly cracks. She kept going, picking herself up time and time again, over and over: only one thing keeping her going, one inescapable fact. _

_ She had to save Fig. _

_ Adaine had no sense of time in the darkness, she just kept running through the cold and dark, ignoring everything; ignoring her objecting body, ignoring her pain, ignoring her fear. She narrowly avoided falling off of a sudden drop, skidding to a stop just in time, even compared to the frigid temperature she’d been running through, the air below was colder, even standing this close to the drop Adaine could feel herself shiver as the heat was sucked down into endless oblivion. The abyss infront of her barely phased Adaine, she felt around for another way to continue. Her near brush with death was nothing of note when compared to the much more pressing issue. _

_ She had to save Fig. _

_ As Adaine felt around the cold rock a very dull, silvery light began to grow and grow, rather than coming from a singular source it almost emanated from the walls of the cave itself, it kept getting brighter and brighter until Adaine could look down into the abyss and found herself faced with a gigantic cavern which was filled with a lake of black, perfectly still water; but that wasn’t what caught Adaine’s attention, what did was a figure laying still, just beneath the surface. As the light increased and increased Adaine made out the face and, without hesitation, dived. She jumped off the ledge and sped towards the eerie water for one simple reason. _

_ She had to save Fig. _

_ Approaching the water faster and faster Adaine could just make out Fig’s face, but even though she got closer and closer her features did not become any clearer; it was like it was blurred, or more like they had been drawn by someone only given a brief description, everything was there: the mouth, nose and eyes. But they were all too normal, too generic. But still, none of that mattered to Adaine. _

_ She had to save Fig. _

_ As Adaine hit the mirror it shattered, sending shards of glass flying off into oblivion, Fig’s figure cracking and breaking apart even as Adaine had reached for her. Hitting the bottom of what had been the lake Adaine looked up and saw that the shards of glass, made grey by the light illuminating the cave, were spinning themselves into ropes of grey and white, no, not ropes. Webs. Adaine watched in horror as the glass coalesced into an immense spiders web, in the very centre, located directly above her, was Fig, her face clearer but unconscious, her limp body suspended by webs which stretched out into the darkness. Adaine clambered to her feet, wincing in pain but pushing through it. Looking around she found a strand of web which trailed on the ground but reached up into the canopy above her. Biting back her fear Adaine began to climb. _

_ She had to save Fig. _

_ Hand over hand Adaine dragged her aching body up the sticky web, inch by inch; her arms burning with each motion. But she kept going and eventually found herself in the web proper. With as much energy as she could muster Adaine moved as fast as the web would allow, clambering, jumping and running over to Fig’s bound body. Just as she was about to place a hand on the Bard’s chest Adaine felt herself launched by a huge blow to her side which sent her flying metres away into a knot of web, shaking her head to clear it Adaine looked up and saw what had struck her: a spider, a titanic spider, a titanic spider which was advancing on its tree trunk like legs towards her, a titanic spider which was advancing on its tree trunk like legs towards her while snapping its hideous mandibles, each as big as her, at her. But Adaine barely felt any fear. _

_ She had to save Fig. _

_ Rising up into the air Adaine felt a wind blow around her, her jacket and hair billowing out as her eyes turned silver and Lightning began to dance around her right hand, coalescing into a pulsing ball of electricity as a blizzard began to swirl in her left hand. Without so much as a thought Adaine unleashed a freezing blast of snow, sleet, ice and hail against the spider; ignoring its sickening scream of agony she sent forking branches of white, cracking, energy which bounced across the beast’s body, stabbing in and out as it was simultaneously frozen and electrocuted. When the blast of lightning and cold subsided the creature was dead, it was frozen and burnt, half its head cut cleanly off. After a moment it’s mammoth body swayed then slowly tilted sideways until it fell off the web, crashing down onto the ground below, curling into a fist. Without stopping Adaine moved forward, still only one thing on her mind. _

_ She had to save Fig. _

_ Reaching the girl Adaine cupped her face and suddenly they were no longer suspended over a dry lake, they were in a brightly lit room with loud, musical noises and flashing lights, surrounded by carnage of a battle. Fig’s lifeless face was coated in tears which weren’t her own. Adaine could hear herself scream desperately as she cradled Fig’s head, rocking the girls limp body back and forth. She buried her face in Fig’s shoulder and then suddenly the scene changed again, the sharp sounds replaced by massive crashes of thunder, huge flashes of forked lightning illuminated the night sky and the scene which now faced Adaine, a roiling sea she was observing from a small boat, still there’s was only one thought in her mind. _

_ She had to save Fig. _

_ She could see her, desperately struggling in the furious water, only a half metre or so from the boat, Adaine shot her hand out and grabbed one of Fig’s flailing limbs, as she began to pull the girl in the water looked around and saw her, relief filling her face as she pulled as well, struggling up to the boat. She was halfway into the boat when suddenly she was wrenched from Adaine’s grasp by something incredibly strong and pulled, screaming, below the surface. Adaine followed her, jumping from the boat into the freezing water. _

_ She had to save Fig. _

_ As she dove into the impossibly cold sea Adaine found herself buried up to her waist in snow, the wild, stormy sea replaced by an endless stretching tundra of snow, looking ahead of her Adaine found the signs of someone else half walking, half swimming through the deep snow. Knowing who made them Adaine followed, determinedly pushing through the bitterly cold substance, looking out infront of her she had no clue for how far this trail extended but that didn’t matter. _

_ She had to save Fig. _

_ Once more Adaine kept moving forwards, except this time with numbing cold and forced to go much slower. Still she kept forcing her way through the deep snow, following the distinct trench in the otherwise pristine carpet, yet again she had no idea for how long she walked, it could’ve been minutes but felt like a lifetime. After an unknownable amount of time she caught sight of her quarry, still a speck in the distance she nevertheless knew the figure in front of her was Fig. Calling out Adaine saw the girl turn, and saw her expression of fear, betrayal and anger as clearly and cutting as if she were right in front of her. Burying the hurt and confusion deep inside of her, Adaine continued following. Because even if Fig didn’t want her to; _

_ She had to save Fig. _

_ After another incredibly long amount of time in which Adaine slowly grew closer and closer to Fig she eventually caught up with the Tiefling passed out, face first in the snow. Grabbing her arm Adaine pulled Fig over her shoulder and continued wading through the snow. On the edge of the range of her vision Adaine could make out a small, raised patch of land which was somehow devoid of snow, with grass clearly visible. Gritting her teeth in determination Adaine walked towards it, with each step she felt her muscles grow eater and weaker. But she had to get there. _

_ She had to save Fig. _

_ As she pulled her friend across the threshold of the grassy oasis Adaine collapsed, feeling her vision turn black but, in the centre of the clearing was a pile of green branches, she crawled towards it, dragging Fig with her,and summoned a flame between her fingers, igniting the wood. Then she slumped onto her stomach, completely spent. Even when Adaine felt the earth beneath her beginning to bend and twist she couldn’t find the strength to lift her head. She barely noticed as she began sliding forward, into a deep hole.  _

_ It was until she found herself crashing through the branches of a tree that she snapped back to reality, just in time to groan out as she landed heavily on the forest floor. She staggered to her feet, some of her strength returning. Looking around Adaine couldn’t see Fig. Looking where she’d last been Adaine found a blue tit sitting, staring at her intently. She was about to bend down and inspect it more closely when, with a blur of motion an owl swooped down and speared the small blood on it’s vicious talons, flying off between the dense trees. Adaine gave chase, she wasn’t sure why, but she knew she had to follow the owl. _

_ As Adaine passed through the forest, which seemed to be made up almost exclusively of Elm trees, the trees became progressively more and more unnatural, bent into angular, manufactured shapes, becoming more and more like buildings until eventually Adaine found herself stood in front of a stone arch beyond which was nothing but blackness. Just as she was about to pass through the arch a large Raven alighted the top of the arch. Something about the bird stopped Adaine dead, somehow it expressed its desire to speak and Adaine waited with baited breath. Just as the bird opened its beak a bolt of light struck it, and it fell, lifeless to the ground. _

_ Whirling around Adaine found herself face to face with her father and mother who were glaring at her with a mixture of disgust and disappointment, ignoring them Adaine turned back around and walked under the arch. _

_ She had to save Fig. _

_ Adaine was met with an ancient, tumbledown stone structure, possibly a chapel or a farmhouse. The stones were covered in fungus and ivy, plants sprouted up through cracked and smashed slabs on the ground, rotting beams trailed Hughes bushes of vines and thorns, twining amongst each other and gracefully hanging down to the ground, moving up to the opposite end of the room Adaine was transfixed by a figure in a huge oak chair. A skeleton. Sinking to her knees besides the bones Adaine couldn’t tear her eyes away from it, the bones were half consumed by moss and mushrooms but the skull was adorned by a crown of small flowers. The thing which drew Adaine’s attention, however, was a small stone clutched in the bones which had once been part of a right hand. She was too late. _

_ She couldn’t save Fig. _

_ Reaching out a hand to take the stone Adaine jumped as the skeleton moved, grabbing her hand, opening it’s ivy wrapped jaw and letting out a bloodcurdling scream of rage. _

Adaine shot up in bed, leaning out she threw up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed!!!
> 
> Do I have really bad Arachnophobia? Yes.
> 
> Did that make it hard to write this chapter? Absolutely.
> 
> Did I have a really good reason for including the spider? Yes.
> 
> Do I remember that reason? Nope.
> 
> Feedback is always appreciated, I love hearing any thoughts you guys have.


	26. Solstice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long to do; ended up being super long.
> 
> Remember when I was gonna write a fairly short friends-to-lovers thing that was gonna be around six thousand words and then I’ve written more than that for one chapter?
> 
> Honestly super excited about this chapter; stuff happens...

“So,” Fig ventured, “your parents are predicting doom?” She was sat on her usual spot at the beach, gazing out lazily towards the rising sun, feet resting gently in the frigid water; the cold had been bothering her less and less since her horns came in. She’d left her house early, clambering out of her attic window when it was still dark and arriving by the sea just as the first rays of golden light were illuminating the sky.

Adaine had messaged her only a few moments later with a sleepy greeting, even after exchanging only a few words Fig could tell something was up with her friend, something was on her mind and she was doing a really bad job of hiding her distraction.

“Yeah.” Adaine replied with a sigh, shivering slightly and wrapping the blanket she’d brought to the beach tighter around her shoulders. While it was very rarely that cold in Fallinel the days had been becoming more bracing as it neared Solstice and with the sun still not very high in the sky Adaine found herself huddled into a tight ball against the biting air.

“To be honest they’re pretty useless at any type of predictions so it’s mostly just wishing ill on everyone who they dislike… which is basically everyone.” Despite becoming more and more convinced that her parents were not good people Adaine rarely criticised them in terms of academic skill but after her dream she was in a particularly resentful mood; while the details were a bit scrambled and the actual meaning was, as usual, mostly a mystery, Adaine was sure that by killing the Raven her parents had stopped her from saving Fig, she had no idea why but it seemed to make sense. Thankfully they had bought her excuse of cloud-gazing as an escape with only a snide remark from her father about ‘missing family tradition for personal projects.’ To which she'd had to bite back a response about Aelwyn also going out to ‘study’ with praise from their parents on her ‘studious nature.’

“To be fair,” Fig mused, still not distracted from her concern but trying to make conversation before asking what was up, “that does sound like a pretty metal holiday.”

Affecting a haughty, dramatic voice which she hoped would make Adaine laugh Fig proclaimed loudly:

“I doth declare that Gilear Faeth shall go bald and lose his sense of fashion.”

Chuckling slightly Adaine felt her mind begin to wander away from pondering the various abstract visuals of her dream and onto the conversation.

“Can elves go bald? I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bald elf.”

“Neither have I, but I declared it so it’s gonna happen.” Fig responded confidently, pleased that her friend seemed to be relaxing slightly.

“What’s your mother doing today then?” Asked Adaine after a moment.

“She’s off visiting friends.” Replied Fig shortly before sighing and elaborating slightly.

“I told her a week or so ago that I wasn’t going to be at home today and… and she really didn’t seem bothered.” 

“I’m really sorry Fig.” Adaine said sympathetically.

“It’s fine, it’s not like I wanted her to be upset or anything I just… y’know last year- last Solstice it… it wouldn’t have even been a possibility that I wouldn’t be at home all day and now… now I honestly don’t feel at home, at home y’know? Like, I don’t get that feeling of... shelter I used to.”

“Yeah… I get that.” Adaine responded, sadly; she wasn’t sure she’d ever had that feeling… she’d never had a sense that her house was a home, she didn’t feel less tense there, never felt less on edge; often the reverse was true. In fact, she realised, the only time she’d ever felt something akin to how other people thought of their home was when she was talking to Fig.

“I’m… I’m really sorry… I wish there was something I could do.” If there had been anything which would’ve made Fig happy, Adaine thought, she would’ve done it without hesitation; no matter the consequences.

“You’re here for me.” Fig shrugged with a small smile.

“That means… everything to me. I couldn’t ask you to do anything more.” For the briefest moment Fig considered where she’d be if it weren’t for Adaine. Today at least she’d be in the same place; she’d still be sitting here on the beach but more alone than she could imagine. She pulled her mind back to the conversation when she realised that the silence had extended for several moments.

“So, is your sister with your parents as well?”

“No, she’s off ‘studying’.” It took Adaine’s sleep deprived mind a few seconds to remember that Fig couldn’t see her making air quotation marks.

“I’m almost entirely sure she’s off with her girlfriend but she said she was going to the library to study.” She explained after cringing at her own blunder.

“Oh,” Fig replied, “the girlfriend thing sounds a lot more fun than studying… or predicting doom with your parents” she mused, thinking about how she’d much rather spend time with Adaine than study.

“Yeah, but to be fair: anything would be a lot more fun than spending any amount of time with them.” Adaine giggled a bit but she quickly fell silent again.

“Adaine, are you… Ok?” Fig asked, she’d wanted to avoid asking the question directly but she couldn’t help her concern, she’d only rarely heard her friend be so direct and unreserved in expressing her low opinion of her parents and was worried that something might have happened, that they might have done something.

“What?” Adaine asked, snapped out of her own reverie; her mind filled with the cruel smirks that her parents had been wearing after killing the Raven in her dream.

“Oh, umm, yeah; I just… I had a dream.”

“Like, a prophetic type dream or like, a nightmare type dream?” Queried Fig, she knew Adaine’s dreams left her mentally drained and didn’t want to push her to talk about it but at the same time wanted to make it clear that she  _ could  _ talk to her about it if she needed to.

“I… I really hope it was a nightmare…” Adaine replied; although it was clear from her tone that she didn’t hold out much hope.

“That bad huh?” Asked Fig consolingly.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“Nah, it wasn’t that bad.” Adaine lied.

“Just a lot of bad omens and stuff like that, giant spiders and the like.” It wasn’t like Adaine enjoyed lying to Fig but what was she supposed to say?  _ ‘I had a prophetic dream where you kept dying and I couldn’t save you then I got attacked by your vengeful skeleton.’  _

“That’s it?” Fig’s voice was dripping with scepticism. Adaine sighed in defeat and elaborated.

“It wasn’t just Omens of doom. It was omens of impending and personal doom, a long period of bad luck, lots of pain and loss. Just generally not a good time.” When Fig didn’t respond Adaine continued.

“I err… I lost something very important to me. Well, I was losing it, and… I had to keep trying to save it but… I failed. I don’t really get how but I think my parents had something to do with stopping me from saving it.”

“Were they in your dream?”

“Yeah.”

“What did they do?”

“They killed a Raven.”

“Ok, but, like, wouldn’t that be, I don’t know, a good thing?” Fig responded quizzically.

“I know you said Ravens aren’t bad but they’re still a bad omen right so, killing one would be good?”

“I… I’m not sure…” Adaine sighed deeply, “Can I… can I think out loud for a bit?”

“Of course.”

“Ok, so millennia ago in the far north there were two kingdoms, the king of the northernmost kingdom was Fríthar and Ællun was king of the southern kingdom. As a way of cementing peace Fríthar was betrothed to Ællun’s daughter Acha. However at the wedding ceremony Fríthar and his men massacred Ællun and his entire house apart from his infant son Nawden who was rescued by the assassins whom Fríthar had sent to kill him and smuggled out of the Kingdom

For years Fríthar ruled both kingdoms and dedicated his life to finding and killing Nawden, he was a brutal man who killed thousands of innocent people and forced his son by Acha, Asgrai, to kill a prisoner when he was only seven years old. He became known as ‘The Twister’ because he’d have one of his guards take a prisoner by their legs and he would twist them until their spine snapped.

Ten years after the massacre at the wedding Fríthar held dominion over most of the Kingdoms of that region, uniting half the continent in fear of him. Then he heard reports that a southern Kingdom was harbouring Nawden, so he gathered his armies and marched south, demanding that the southern king hand over Nawden or be destroyed.

The southern King was a follower of Sol, one of the first in that region and he gave Nawden a choice; either he could convert to worshipping Sol and promise that he would convert his people if he reclaimed the throne or he would hand him over to Fríthar. Not seeing another option Nawden agreed to convert and the armies of the southern king assembled in a hopeless act of defiance against Fríthar. The battle was a forgone affair, Fríthar had never lost a battle, he fought with the strength and ferocity of twenty men, there was no way the southern armies could triumph. 

Except, knowing that her husband would kill her last living family member Acha poisoned him the night before the battle. Almost as soon as the fighting began Fríthar collapsed dead and the northern armies were routed.

Acha and her children fled to a distant kingdom, she couldn’t be sure her brother wouldn’t execute Fríthar’s heirs in vengeance for his family’s murder. With them absent Nawden became ruler of the two kingdoms. While comparatively a good King he was still only a child and was easily controlled; he had still given his word that he would make his people worship Sol, and to ensure he kept his word the Southern King sent a bishop named Quintus to destroy the worship of the old Gods. For almost a decade he burned shrines and relics, destroyed sacred groves and collapsed hills on springs which were held to be sacrosanct. The population was forcibly baptised, those who refused or who were found to still follow the old practices were killed. Eventually there was less and less of the Old Faiths present in the land yet still Quintus persisted, even the slightest hint of anything but Helioic worship. 

Then, around seven years after Nawden became King he and his retainers were entering a chapel with Quintus when a raven alighted on the doorway, it looked as if it was about to speak, despite their pretensions of following Helio Nawden and his companions could not help but take this ancient symbol of warning seriously; however Quintus, seeing their reaction, took a stone and slew the bird, declaring anything other than Helio to be unable to give warnings.

Two months later Nawden and most of his men were butchered by Lawquen, an invader from the south who then preceded to burn the kingdoms, looting and pillaging until he himself was killed by Asgrai, son of Fríthar, who would then go on to restore the Old Faith.”

“Ok,” Fig said after a moment, “so what does that mean in terms of your dream?”

“I think it means that… that I’m going to try and do the right thing but my parents will stop me… or my trying to please them will stop me or something… and I think they’re going to play a big part in losing what’s most important to me.”

“Well then,” Fig replied in a faux-confident voice, “all you have to do is the opposite of whatever your parents tell you to, simple.”

“Yeah.” Adaine laughed slightly but Fig could tell she was worried.

“Listen, Adaine,” she said in a sympathetic tone, “I can imagine how scary this must be but… you don’t  _ know  _ what that raven thing means exactly right? It warns of bad stuff right? So couldn’t it just be something like… you’re going to stub your toe or something? And… even if you do lose what’s most important to you then… it’s going to be difficult but you’ll get through it. It won’t be the end of the world and… whatever happens I’ll be here for you, so if you  _ do  _ lose something, I’ll do everything I can to help you with it.”

“Thanks.” Adaine replied softly, her tone was still unconvinced but she sounded slightly more calm.

  
  
  
  


By midday the conversation had become much more relaxed, the two girls no longer talking about prophetic dreams which foretold doom but comparatively light subjects such as what they were doing in school and their plans for after they left their respective education tracks.

“Well obviously I’m gonna be a rockstar.” Fig declared confidently.

“Why?” Asked Adaine, she’d loosened her cocoon of blanket slightly as the sun had risen into the sky but she still felt chilled to the bone, not for the first time wishing she had the nerve to message Fig from inside her house.

“What do you mean?” Fig’s voice was confused, she’d been slightly taken aback by the question. Usually people replied differently when she told them she wanted to be a rockstar, mostly with some combination of derision and condescension.

“Just, Why do you want to play music more than… I don’t know, owning a small bookshop?”

“Is that just your go to dream job?” Smirked Fig.

“Pretty much.” Adaine chuckled in response.

“Well, I guess… it’s not just the music if that makes sense? It’s the whole thing, it’s all based around rebellion and not needing to be what everyone wants me to be, and it’s about people seeing my music, seeing who I am not just my horns, it’s about people staring at me because I’m a famous musician not because I’m… weird, it’s about how I can turn all my frustration and anger into something which people love, it’s about being someone who people lo-” Fig hadn’t realised how angry she’d been getting until she cut herself off, “someone who people admire.”

“I guess… I just want some way to make people see how I feel y’know?”

“Yeah, I get that. I’m sorry I brought that up.” Adaine apologised, concerned about how emotional Fig’s tone had become.

“No, no, it’s fine.” Replied Fig, laughing slightly.

“Usually people just think I’m a dumb kid who doesn’t know how the world works when I tell them that I’m gonna be a rockstar, always ask me what’s my actual dream job, or say something like ‘you’d better have a backup plan’ and shit like that… no one ever believes I can do it.” While her tone was humorous Fig had to admit, it did hurt a bit that everyone thought she was doomed to fail.

“I believe in you.” Adaine’s tone was so honest that Fig couldn’t help but take comfort in it.

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Adaine responded sincerely before following up a moment later, in a more jovial voice,

“You’re the best ass player I’ve ever heard.”

“Oh, ha ha ha.” Fig said in mock offence before laughing.

“Did you ever have any other dream job?” Adaine asked after she too had contained her giggles.

“Yeah I err… I wanted to be a ranger, like my Mom… but that errr… that doesn’t seem quite as appealing anymore.” The silence which followed was slightly awkward.

“And I also… wanted to own a tea shop.” Fig admitted sheepishly a moment later.

“A tea shop?” Adaine sounded incredulous.

“Shut up, I was a kid!” Protested Fig, again breaking into a laugh.

“No, no; that sounds really nice actually.” Adaine reassured her.

“I… I really wish I could just… get away from everything y’know? Not have to deal it’s it all anymore, just run away to a small town somewhere, open something like a tea shop or a bookshop… or both.”

“Yeah… that does sound nice…” Fig agreed.

“I don’t think I ever asked you what your Dad, or err Gilear, does?”

“Oh he works as a translator in the diplomatic stuff, y’know in meetings with foreign officials and things like that.”

“Sounds fun.” Adaine said sarcastically.

“Yeah, you can see why I wanted to follow my mom.” Laughed Fig.

“So what’s your dream job?” She asked, “aside from owning a bookshop?”

“I errr… I don’t really have one… we don’t exactly get a choice of what we do, it’s more like we do what our skills determine would be our greatest contribution to Fallinel. So… I probably won’t get a bookshop, to be honest I’d be lucky if I get a job I don’t absolutely hate.”

“There’s still the option of floating here, it’d only take three years.” 

“It’s so cold today I think I’d freeze solid after three seconds… although compared to three thousand years of seeing a month into the future to ensure the best placement of crops based on the weather that wouldn’t be so bad.” Adaine said bitterly before sighing.

“Sorry, I guess I’m not being very Solstice-y.” She apologised.

“You’re infinitely better company than my other options.” Fig laughed.

“I’d probably be out here anyway… really not keen on the idea of sitting in silence with my Mom eating burned food.”

“What did you used to do? Like tradition-wise?”

“Just normal stuff I guess.” Fig said dismissively.

“Y’know, Tree, decorating and stuff like that.”

“Do you miss it?”

“Not really? I guess I miss the whole having a family for Solstice and shit, but not, like, the traditions or whatever… I guess I just… I’ve had such a bad few months with my parents and it’s not like they’re gone or whatever so I guess it wasn’t like a sudden thing, it kinda replaced all my good memories with bad ones. But I guess with my friends it's different, I don’t think I’ve even spoken to any of them since they saw my horns so it’s kinda like; they were there and then they just… disappeared. So I suppose I kinda miss the stuff I’d do with them around Solstice.”

“Like what?”

“Past few years, we all got together at one of our houses a week or so before Solstice and we made mulled wine.” Fig smiled sadly as the scent of fruit and spices pricked her nostrils.

“And then after we’d done that, we’d have a movie marathon; just staying up all night with popcorn and hot chocolate and mulled wine, and way too many sweets… and it’s just so hard to… forget those memories y’know? Even though it ended badly it was just all so sudden so I can’t blot out all the good times we had together.”

“I don’t think you should try to get rid of them.” Adaine said, gently.

“Yeah, it’s painful now and I’m not sure it’ll ever not be painful but it’s… it’s still a part of you, you can’t just completely sever everything from before your horns came in because you’re made up of everything that’s ever happened to you.”

“I guess.” Replied Fig, sounding unconvinced. 

“I just… sometimes I really don’t like myself, or being myself?” Fig grimaced as she tried to find the right words to describe her feelings

“Sometimes… I wish I was a different person… or even just the person I’d be if my horns didn’t come in.”

“Well… I’m really glad that you’re not a different person because… I really like who you are right now… they’re pretty amazing.” Fig couldn’t help a small smile tugging on the corners of her mouth.

“Thanks, Adaine.” She took a deep breath before speaking again.

“Y’know, it’s weird; I’ve had my horns for months now and I still sometimes… forget about them. I still get a bit of a shock sometimes when I see them in a mirror or when people stare at me, it sometimes takes me a minute to realise what they’re being weird about and then I remember.”

“I know it probably doesn't matter,” Said Adaine after a moment of silence, faltering slightly as she spoke, “but… I think you’re really pretty and even though I never saw you without them I definitely don’t think your horns make you any less so.”

“Thanks.” repeated Fig, blushing slightly at the word ‘pretty’.

“I just… I was, y’know, the perfect girl right? I was pretty, I was a cheerleader, I was popular; and it’s not like I really worry about that kinda stuff anymore, and I don't think I’d choose it over my life now but… I still kinda, I don’t know... resent my horns? Like, when they came in that was when everything changed, when I stopped being the ‘perfect little girl’,” as much as she didn’t want to admit how much it affected her, Fig couldn’t help a touch of bitterness entering her voice, “They’re just a big, glaring imperfection.”

“We’re all made up of our imperfections, they are what define us. Imperfection is beautiful and… being imperfect… makes you perfect.” Adaine shrugged awkwardly, hoping that her slightly fumbled words helped Fig even a little.

Fig was silent as she tried to find a way of expressing how much Adaine’s meant to her, failing she just said:

“Thanks.” Then laughed as she repeated the word a third time in only a couple of minutes, before falling silent again and asking, in a barely audible tone:

”Do you really think I’m pretty?” Fig really didn’t care about how other people saw her, she’d grown almost accustomed to stares and sidelong glances at her horns so she wasn’t exactly bothered by people’s thoughts about her appearance. But nevertheless when Adaine called her pretty, or beautiful, or  _ perfect…  _ Fig felt her insides warm and couldn’t stop herself from beaming.

“I, errr… I, Well, yeah, I do; you’re really pretty… I think you’re the… you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.” Adaine was blushing so madly she was sure she looked like a tomato and it felt like she had to swallow a few times to get the words, which came from somewhere deep in her subconscious, out.

“Thanks… I’d say something to you but I’ve got no idea what you look like.” Fig replied after a few moments of trying to stop her heart pounding in her ears.

“I’m not really that pretty.” Laughed Adaine.

“I’m sure that’s not true.”

“Are you calling me a liar?” Adaine asked, aghast.

“Yeah, a Godsdammed liar.” Replied Fig before both girls laughed and fell into a contented silence.

  
  
  


“You’re  _ kidding _ me.” Fig was horrified.

“You’ve got to be joking? This is all some cruel, twisted prank designed to break me isn’t it? How could you say something so… evil? Why would you say such a horrible thing Adaine? The audacity to say something of such moral depravity?”

“All I said was I’ve never had proper snow.” Adaine said with amusement.

“Arggghhh!” Fig exclaimed as she dramatically clapped a hand to her chest, clutching her heart in feigned agony.

“Why do you say such things?” She hissed.

“Hey,” Adaine Protested, “I live in Fallinel it’s almost always hot, we get snow once every five year or something like that, and even when it does snow it never lasts long so I’ve never had knee deep snow or anything.” Adaine was becoming progressively colder as the sun moved further into the east, evening drawing in fast, shed again bundled herself up tightly in her blanket and talking about snow wasn’t helping the situation.

“We get snow, every year!” Fig was genuinely dismayed about this revelation she’d had after mentioning the first few flakes of snow beginning to swirl out of the darkening sky.

“Usually ages before Solstice, it’s really weird it hasn’t been very snowy this year, but we’ve still had a few days of deep snow.”

“I think the deepest I can remember was only a couple of centimetres.”

“Gods, stop! That’s so sad!” Fig cried melodramatically.

“So you’ve never made a snowman? Or had a snowball fight?”

“Well… kinda?”

“What do you mean kinda?”

“Well I’ve used magic to make an ice construct so that’s… kinda a snowman.”

“No, it is, in fact, a magically animated mound of ice. And what about snowball fights?”

“Well, loads of people have used spells to throw ice or snow at me, so I’m a way…”

“No. Just no.” Asserted Fig, firmly.

“I… like, logically I  _ know  _ that some places don’t really get snow but it’s just such a weird idea, that it just  _ never  _ snows-“

“It snows sometimes.” Adaine objected.

“Still, I can’t wrap my head around the idea of just  _ never  _ seeing proper, real snow, it’s just something I take for granted.”

“Hey, I saw proper snow at my wedding, or will see it at my wedding… or will have seen it at my wedding? I will see it, but I have seen it but only because, at some point I will have seen it already… I think…” Adaine made a face, “stuff happening in the future is weird, although it only  _ might  _ happen so I guess it’d be: I might see it, and I will have maybe seen it at my possible wedding? But then I  _ have  _ seen it, but I only might see it and-“

“Wait-“ Fig interjected, “What?”

“Well, cause I see stuff which might happen I have seen it, but then I might-“

“No, not that, the thing about your wedding?”

“Oh, Yeah; that was one of my first dreams; I saw me getting married.”

“Wow, ok; that’s a lot more specific than the other ones.”

“Yeah, I much preferred ‘you’ll get married’ to having to work out a bunch of nonsense.”

“Yeah, I’d definitely prefer clear prophetic dreams.” Mused Fig.

“Honestly, looking back on it it’s one of the few that I actually like thinking about; even if it was super scary at the time for obvious reasons.”

“What obvious reasons?” Fig asked.

“Oh, right; yeah, I forget you can’t see things in my head sometimes; Well I errr… I was marrying a… woman. And at the time I got really scared because Fallinel society isn’t exactly welcoming to… that kind of marriage.” Explained Adaine hesitantly.

“Yeah, I get why you were scared.” Replied sympathetically before asking: “do you think that dream was your mind or magic telling you that you’re…”

“I don’t think I’m gay-“ Fig’s heart shattered, “I… I definitely like girls but when I see a girl it’s not… I don’t… I’m not  _ attracted  _ to her if that makes sense? Like girls are pretty, so,  _ so  _ pretty and amazing and beautiful but I don’t think that I’m attracted to them… physically.” Fig’s heart repaired itself. After dealing with her emotional whiplash she replied.

“Yeah, That actually makes a lot of sense; do you think that you might be asexual?”

“Asexual?” Adaine asked, sounding the word out like she was getting a feel for it.

“Yeah, it means that you don’t experience sexual attraction to any gender; you can still be romantically attracted to someone, or, I guess think they look nice, but only, like, aesthetically. And you can have a romantic orientation as well, so you might be an asexual lesbian?”

“Yeah, That... that actually sounds pretty good.” Adaine pondered her friend’s words, mouthing the word ‘asexual’ under her breath a few times, smiling broadly when she found it fit.

“Asexual.” She said out loud this time, repeating it a few times.

“I’m... an asexual lesbian… I… I like that… Thank you, Fig. We don’t exactly learn about sexuality here… it’s just kinda, if you’re a girl you’ll end up with a man…” Adaine trailed off, deep in thought.

“But your dream means at least there’s a chance you won’t have to right?” Fig responded, comfortingly.

“Yeah, I guess.” Adaine didn’t sound very convinced.

“You said there was proper snow?” Asked Fig, hoping to distract Adaine slightly.

“Yeah, it was weird, I… I didn’t actually remember that until we started talking about snow, it was in this huge field of wildflowers and after we… kissed, I looked around and suddenly everything was covered with this really deep snow.”

“So you weren’t in Fallinel?”

“No, I don’t think so.” Considered Adaine, thoughtfully.

“I’m not sure where I was, it could’ve been anywhere really I guess.”

“Do you remember what the person looked like?”

“No, she didn’t have a face. Not like skin where her features should’ve been, it’s just I couldn’t see her face if that makes sense?”

“Yeah, I guess.” 

“I… I do remember something… it seemed important at the time…” Adaine scrunched up her face as she struggled to recover the memory.

“She… she had a locket.” Fig choked in shock.

“A locket?” She managed to sputter.

“Yeah, it was this simple silver locket thing… I don’t know why I remember that,” Adaine laughed, “it just seemed important.”

Fig was silent, staring down at her simple silver locket.

After a few seconds of silence Adaine spoke again.

“Fig, I… I just wanted to say thank you.”

“What for?” Responded Fig, slightly distracted by her brain exploding.

“Just… being I guess?” Adaine chuckled and hesitated before elaborating.

“It’s just… I’ve never had a… friend before… and I’ve never had someone I could admit stuff to… and you’re just really awesome. 

And I… I love being friends with you. So, thanks for everything.”

“Adaine,” Fig began, feeling like she was teetering above a cliff, “I really, really… listen, being your friend is great, like, really, really great, amazing even. It’s… it’s been the best part of my life for the past few months. But,” Closing her eyes Fig braced herself to take the plunge, “but I want… more, as much as I love being your friend it’s… it’s not all I want…” What followed was several moments of extraordinarily tense silence.

“Are… are you trying to say that you don’t want to be my friend anymore?” Adaine’s voice was filled with confusion and hurt, making Fig immediately flounder and panic slightly.

“No! No, no.” She breathed and tried to calm herself down slightly.

“I mean, yes, but like, not like that, not in, like a bad way.” Hesitating, Fig again struggled to clear her mind.

“Listen, what I’m about to say is  _ really  _ important, I’m not entirely clear on the specifics of what I’m about to say, but the general message is super important. It’s probably gonna be really rambling and probably won’t make any sense, but… I have to say this. So just let me find my own way there?” Fig gushed in a single breath, sounding incredibly nervous.

“Yeah, of course,” Adaine replied in what she hoped was a reassuring tone, trying to contain her own worry, “take your time, don’t rush anything.”

“Thanks.” Said Fig, softly, before taking a deep breath and beginning.

“You are  _ so  _ incredible, and amazing, and talented, and smart, and strong-“ Fig stopped herself before restarting.

“When I first messaged you, months ago I was… in a very bad place… my friends had abandoned me, my Dad had left, my Mom hated me, everyone looked at me like I was a monster, a freak. And… I just felt  _ so  _ alone. I think I’ve finally realised why I spent so much time on the beach even before I met you. I was always so alone that… it kinda seemed to make sense to be  _ actually  _ alone, staring out to a sea which was deserted for miles. I… felt less lonely when I was alone like that than I did when I was surrounded by people who hated me.

”I really felt like I’d never have a family again, never have friends again, never have someone I could trust again, I… I had just kinda accepted the fact that… I was just never going to be… happy again, not like cheerful, I guess I just figured I’d always feel… empty.

I was so scared that I was never gonna have anyone,” Fig was cut off in her rising anger by a sob which made her realise she was crying, “never have anyone be… kind to me again.” She finished slightly calmer.

“And then… then I found you.” The bard said with a small laugh.

“And you were… you were so much kinder than I deserved… you… I could trust you to be there for me when I needed you. You were- are the best friend I’ve ever had. If I didn’t have you…” Fig trailed off leaving a pregnant pause before continuing.

“I… I don’t know where I’d be right now if… if it wasn’t for you. Even though you’re miles away: you’re the person I’m closest to. You make me feel safe, in a way I don’t really feel at all anymore. Even with my other friends I… I sometimes feel like I have to put up a display with them if that makes sense? Like, it’s not really a bad thing, it’s just that even with other people I care about and like it’s still… difficult? … tiring? Yeah, that’s better. Like, I love them and shit but I can’t spend forever talking to them and… and I could with you.” Blushing slightly, Fig hesitated before she went on.

“I could spend forever talking to you Adaine… I could spend hours just listening to you talk about stars.” Fig laughed again.

“Even the super depressing ones. I could spend hours listening to you complain about Fallinel or your parents and you’re the person I want to complain to about my shit… ok that bit didn’t sound as good as it did in my head… but the point is… I would never get tired of talking to you Adaine.”

“And… sometimes all I want in the world is to see you, I just want to be with you, I… I want to hug you, just be near you. And whenever I think of stuff like that it makes me feel warm inside, and then sad cause I know I can’t do stuff like that… maybe ever.” Fig fell silent for a moment.

“I… I don’t even know what you look like and… you’re the most… you’re beautiful. I know that really doesn't make sense.” Fig pinched her nose, the thoughts in her mind not forming into words as well as she’d like.

“But, like, not hot? Like, not in an appearance way… When I’m talking to you I feel like I feel when I see something beautiful like a sunset or something like that. I’m sorry I’m really not doing this well am I?” 

“No, it’s fine… keep going.” Adaine replied softly, something in her tone making Fig’s heart swell slightly.

“So… I guess… you’re right. I don’t want to be your friend anymore… Because… I don’t feel about you like I do about my other friends… it’s so much… deeper… I… I couldn’t even begin to describe how much you mean to me Adaine.

“When I hear your voice it’s… it’s like a light in a dark cave, no matter how fucked up my head is you bring me back down. When I say your name I can’t help smiling and I feel like I’m sitting in sunlight. You…” Hesitating slightly Fig cursed her inability to fit her thoughts into words.

“You’re… you‘re home, my home, you’re my shelter. No matter how shit everything else is I know you’ll be there for me… and I know that you’ll keep me safe.” Fig stopped, knowing what she wanted to say next and trying to build up the courage to say it.

“Fig,” Adaine said after a beat, her tone overwhelmed with emotion, “Are- Are you saying that you-“

“I love you.” Fig cut in, then immediately laughing as she felt a rush of excitement and relief in her chest.

“I’m in love with you Adaine, I love you  _ so  _ much, I love you more than anything else and I love you as so much more than a friend, I… I  _ need  _ you, I honestly couldn’t live without you and I would spend my entire life loving you.” Fig, still beaming, took a breath, none of her words seemed to accurately describe her feelings and so sighed and said: softly and simply:

“You’re perfect, and... I love you.” The words were expressed so matter-of-factly, so openly and unguardedly that they sounded like the most obvious truth in the universe; a fact so basic and undeniable that it would be accepted by even the most sceptical people.

“Fig, I-“ Adaine began, her voice choked with emotion and for the first time Fig realised the elf was crying as well. Suddenly, without warning Adaine’s voice fell silent, when she spoke again it was filled with fear.

“Fig, I need to go. Bye.” Fig’s mouth fell open in shock as her heart clenched and her insides twisted in fear and confusion. 

“Adaine?” She asked in concern, when she heard no answer she grew more and more panicked, standing up and calling her name again and again until she was screaming into the stone, throat burning painfully.

“Adaine!?” When still no response came, Fig collapsed heavily onto her knees, staring out across the calm waves, the setting sun behind her slowly descending until she was left in darkness.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> It might be a while before I update again; my heads been bad recently and past few days it felt like it was on fire, so that’s fun.
> 
> So, sorry if it ends up being a while, also sorry that I always seem to end up talking about how shit my brain is in notes.
> 
> Feedback is always appreciated


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really sorry that this chapter ended up taking so long.
> 
> This chapter is super angsty
> 
> Without giving away too much the angst is gonna continue for basically the rest of this work

For the first time in months Fig felt cold, not the icy chill of the winter air which had forced most other people into huge coats and scarves, no a much deeper, much more harrowing cold which made the inside of her mind feel like an immense cavern; such an inconceivable emptiness only comparable to an unimaginably huge space consumed in echoing darkness.

Kneeling in almost the exact same position as she had fallen almost half an hour ago, Fig’s hands swayed lifelessly at her sides; as if she did not have the strength to lift them: in one was the sending stone, clenched so tightly her knuckles had become white, in the other was her crystal which had been buzzing repeatedly since she’d sent a text to Kristen:

**Can u meet at beach now? Need help.**

While Kristen was the Bad Kid least lightly to be able to escape her family today, she was also the one Fig knew wouldn’t be distraught over missing out on spending time with her parents; not that the bard was in a moment emotionally stable enough to recognise that had been her thought process, barely being aware of her own actions as she’d texted her friend.

The crystal buzzed again but still Fig couldn’t find the will to lift the screen to her face, she’d lost count of how many times she’d received a message; she just couldn’t  _ think,  _ her brain felt almost foggy, for each thought she had to force her sluggish way through a dense, all-encompassing cloud. The harder she tried to think, it seemed, the more her own mind worked against her, slowing her conscious train of thought and shutting down any logic or rationale she attempted to apply to the situation.

At the same time, however, her subconscious seemed to be working  _ too _ quickly, a surging torrent of unbidden fears and anxieties washing their way through Fig’s head; only allowing her the briefest moment in which to grab onto and attempt to comprehend each one.

Adaine hated her.

Adaine didn’t feel the same way and Fig had freaked her out.

Adaine was scared.

Adaine hated her.

Adaine was as overwhelmed as she was.

Adaine hated her.

Adaine hated her. Adaine  _ hated  _ her. Adaine hated her. Adaine hated her! Hated her! Hated her!

It didn’t take long for that one, single thought to take control of her mind, gripping her tightly; not releasing her from its painful grasp as it dragged her down a spiral of panicked feelings.

Adaine hated her.

How could she not? 

She was a monster and Adaine… Adaine was the furthest thing from a monster imaginable.

Fig should be grateful it took her confessing to make Adaine realise her hatred, it meant she’d had several months of so much more happiness than she deserved.

Adaine hated her. And she was completely right to. Adaine was so much better than her, she was perfection and Fig was a freak.

How had it taken her so long to realise? Why hadn’t Adaine seen how little Fig deserved her months ago?

Or maybe she had.

Maybe Adaine  _ had  _ known, known right from the beginning, that she was too good for Fig… maybe this had just been a cruel joke to play on her?

No, the last part of her brain clinging desperately to logic argued, almost begged.

No, Adaine wouldn’t do that. She wouldn’t. She wouldn’t. She was good and she was kind, she was so much kinder than Fig was worthy of. So much more  _ good  _ than… than a  _ demon  _ like her deserved. But she wouldn’t trick her.

Not like Fig had tricked her, tricked her into thinking she was deserving of her kindness, into thinking she was good enough for her, had tried to trick her into thinking she was worthy of  _ loving  _ her.

Of course she wasn’t; she wasn’t worthy of loving anyone, of loving anything, let alone Adaine. Yet, of course, she had become infatuated with her; falling so deeply and easily in love with her she hadn’t even realised it. She had let herself believe, selfishly, that something could come from her crush, let herself believe that she  _ deserved _ Adaine reciprocating her feelings, let herself become so deluded that she thought, for the briefest moment, that, maybe, Adaine could possibly love her back.

It was brutally obvious now that her hope had been pathetically misplaced; Adaine didn’t love her, would never love her,  _ could  _ never love her. Of course she couldn’t, who could? Who could possibly love an abomination like her?

She’d been here before, learned this lesson when her life was torn apart months ago by two sharp protrusions on her skull. She’d gone through this before, she’d learned that no one could love her, not even her own family, not even the woman who was responsible for her. So why had she let herself fall so easily for someone who she’d already known would never love her. 

And why did it hurt. So. Much?

When her horns came in and her friends had abandoned her, her family turned their backs on her, when she’d lost everyone in her life it had felt like a horrible wound; she had been filled with rage and frustration, with shame and loss. But this? This was worse. Far, far worse. 

Instead of anger and impotent anguish she felt… nothing.

It was if she’d been hollowed out, emptied, and left with nothing but an unending sea of pain. That was the only way this feeling could be described; it was like she was adrift on a boundless, agonising ocean, no matter which way she looked she could only see endless toil and suffering, any attempt to move dragged her deeper down into the glassy, unfeeling water. 

Somehow, in this moment, Fig like she’d lost everything; even more so than when she  _ actually  _ had lost nearly everything and she knew, it was just going to get worse and worse. Just a half hour or so ago Fig hadn’t been able to properly verbalise how much Adaine meant to her but now, now she knew.

Adaine was her oxygen. She couldn’t live without her. The longer she went without her the harder it would become. And Fig was nowhere near strong enough to keep going.

  
  
  


Fig was so unaware of her surroundings, the turmoil in her mind making reality seem almost distant, that she had no knowledge that she was no longer alone until Kristen wrapped her arms around her. Suddenly and without warning the damn burst and Fig’s sensation of emptiness was overwhelmed with an all-consuming wave of agonising, stabbing, inescapable pain and grief.

Not even being fully aware of who had hugged her, Fig turned her head into Kristen’s shoulder and began to cry uncontrollably; her body went from being almost perfectly still in one moment to shaking with, heaving, gasping sobs.

As the tears rolled down her face, Fig felt Kristen’s hands stroking her hair in a comforting motivation; but still the tears came; uncontrollably. She had never felt this kind of pain before; never experienced such a cutting agony as she did in that moment. Even though Adaine hadn’t actually said anything Fig knew, from somewhere deep in her soul, that she’d lost her and it hurt like nothing else had hurt.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading.
> 
> This chapter was supposed to be a lot longer and have some Fig and Kristen interaction but I’m not doing great mentally and couldn’t do anymore right now, I might have a second chapter of this but we’ll see.
> 
> It’s probably gonna be a while before I write again, sorry.
> 
> Comments give me serotonin


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ————————————TW: mentions of suicide———————————-
> 
> Hey, sorry that this chapter took so long, and that it’s so short; I hope that you enjoy it all the same!
> 
> Spent three weeks trying to write this then ended up deleting what I had and then doing it again in a couple of hours after not sleeping for about three days, then completely forgot I did it and lost it cause I was looking for the version I deleted.

Fig sipped her coffee, ignoring the worried glances of her friend’s and staring, resolutely, into her steaming cup, focusing on the smell, the acrid scent grounding her slightly; the slight calm shattered when she made the mistake of looking up and catching Gorgug’s concerned eyes. Sighing, she placed her mug down.

“I’m fine, seriously,” She insisted in answer to their unasked question.

“Fig,” Kristen began in the same tone of voice that she’d been using since she found her on the beach two months ago, the same tenderness she’d comforted her with as she sobbed for hours, “You know you can talk to us right?”

“Yeah, but there’s nothing to talk about,” Responded Fig, not meeting her friend’s eyes.

“We know that’s not true Fig,” Fabian replied, his customary, haughty tone replaced by one of deep, sympathetic concern.

“Guys, I’m fine; just drop it ok?” Fig was overly defensive, she knew her friends were being nice and she shouldn’t be such an asshole but she had felt weirdly… exposed ever since Kristen had found her on the beach.

She’d never been so vulnerable with anyone, well anyone apart from the person who she definitely wasn’t thinking about, and who she hadn’t been obsessing over for the past few weeks.

Gorgug sighed sadly before speaking up.

“Listen Fig,it’s ok to feel down, and to talk about it. But, the stuff with Adaine, that could be anything, you don’t  _ know-“  _ He was cut off by an almost manic cackle.

Fig wasn’t sure why, but hearing Adaine’s name in that moment hit her somewhere deep inside and she felt the same, all consuming, wave of emotions as she had when Adaine went silent, but this time it came out as bitterness.

“Yeah,” She said when she managed to control her involuntary laughter, voice dripping with sarcasm, “she just disappeared when I told her I loved her, hasn’t messaged me back since then, and for the first time in months she’s not been replying to my messages; what could that possibly mean?” 

Fig’s anger and hurt shook through her voice, her teeth clenched to keep from screaming in frustration in the middle of the diner, she didn’t notice that her hand was shaking until some of her coffee spilt onto her hand, she ignored it; sinking back into guarded silence.

“Fig,” Kristen said, gently lowering Fig’s hand to place the cup back on the table then ebbing the spilt coffee away from her skin, “we’re… we’re worried about you, we haven’t seen you in days; please don’t shut us out.”

“Look, I’m sorry I’ve been taking some time to deal with this alright? I wasn’t gonna get over it in a day was I? Like I said, I’m fine.”

“Fig,” Kristen’s tone was almost pleading, “we know that you haven’t been sleeping.”

“How would you know that?” Responded Fig, defensively.

“Well you look like shit,” Fabian replied, “and we’ve sat here and watched you drink about five cups of coffee but you’re still yawning. We can put two and two together.”

“Ok, so maybe I’ve not slept as much as usual, can you blame me?”

“Fig, you haven’t been sleeping at all,” Gorgug countered.

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes we do,” Responded Kristen.

“How?” Fig narrowed her eyes.

“We ahh…” Kristen began before sighing and nodding to Riz.

“We’ve been keeping an eye on you on the beach at night.”

“You’ve been spying on me!?”

“We were worried about you!” Gorgug protested.

“Why?” Fig asked, turning to him angrily.

“Because, you’re going through a tough time and…”

“And what?”

“And we thought you might…” Kristen cut in before cutting herself off.

“Thought I might What? Kill myself?” The table fell into a dead silence, none of the other Bad Kids meeting Fig’s eyes.

“I’ve lost people before, I’ve lost my parents and my friends, I lost my whole fucking life and I dealt with it, because I don’t need  _ anyone!”  _ Fig’s voice, along with her whole body was shaking with anger and frustration, “I’m not going to off myself because of her! I don’t need her, I don’t need anybody!”

“We know how you felt about her Fig,” Fabian answered, softly. 

“Yeah, I loved her, Ok? I loved her and now I know she doesn’t even care about me so I’ve moved on. But I’m glad you all think so highly of me.”

“Fig, this isn’t about what we think about you,” Protested Riz.

“Yeah, this is just a really shitty situation to be in, and we want to help you.” Kristen added.

“Well, I don’t need help, if you want to help; leave me alone,” Fig half-yelled, ignoring the stares of the other diners, standing up from their table and swinging her jacket off the back of her chair, shrugging it on as she strode towards the door.

“Don’t follow me,” she called over her shoulder before storming out of the door.

Despite her protestations Fig had been unable to take her mind off of Adaine, her mind oscillating between convinced her crush hated her and being terrified that something had happened to her. 

Fig found her feet walking, with a mind of their own, to the beach; sitting heavily down and pulling out her sending stone, holding it tightly and, as tears began rolling down her cheeks again, whispered into it.

“Adaine. Please. Please, I… I need you… please, just say you don’t hate me and that you’re ok, please. Say anything. Just… just be here… please?” As Fig felt the now familiar emptiness begin to engulf her, she collapsed slightly, sagging into herself and closing her eyes.

“Fig?” The voice in her mind shocked her, making her jump in surprise, she wasn’t able to properly formulate her emotions before Adaine spoke, in a dark tone which shook Fig to her core.

“We need to talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I really hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Again, really sorry how long this chapter took; my brain was not really working, somehow I convinced myself that each chapter needed to be over two thousand words? No idea how I did that tbh.
> 
> Sorry that notes end up like this, it’s the only way my brain lets me post lol
> 
> I’m not sure when the next chapter will be posted, hopefully less time than this one took but we’ll see.
> 
> Comments give me serotonin, please leave one if you have time :)


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so this is a super short chapter; really sorry about that but it was extremely difficult to write and I keep writing stuff which won't come up for like ten chapters.
> 
> I'm sorry that this part of the fic isn't being uploaded as quickly as the previous one and sorry that it's quite short in comparison, hopefully in a few chapters I'll get to a part which I can write and post more quickly.

Whatever response Fig could’ve formulated died on her lips at the tone of Adaine’s voice. It was somehow… cold, hard, decidedly not Adaine; it made Fig’s mouth dry, accompanied by a shiver down her spine which made her hair stand on edge.

Instead of the hundreds of things which Fig’s mind had been mulling over to say to her friend if she ever heard her voice again, all that came out was a croaked, fearful word.

“Adaine…?”

Apparently ignoring her Adaine continued in the same determined, yet somehow removed and disinterested voice which made Fig’s skin crawl.

“You love me? What is wrong with you?”

“I..I…” Fig stuttered, completely unprepared for such a brutal strike which felt akin to being punched in the stomach.

“You know that no one could ever love a hideous freak like you, you know that even your own parents don’t love you anymore, and then you go and fall in love with the first person who is even slightly nice to you? That is so pathetically desperate.”

Over the past two months Fig hadn’t allowed her mind to fall so deep into dark that she thought she’d hear something like this, it felt like she’d been slapped, her brain didn't seem to be responding to her, like it was frozen. As much as she desperately wanted to drop the stone into the stone she found her fist had tightened around it, nails digging painfully into her skin.

“Did you think that I would actually love you back? That I could love something as ugly as you?”

The cruel sneer which Fig could hear through Adaine’s voice made her shake in anger and confusion, each syllable ringing around in her head like the deafening ringing of bells.

“You are nothing.”

“You are worthless.” 

Adaine’s last words echoed so loudly it took a while for Fig to notice that she had gone silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Also, I've changed my plan (again lol) so that instead of following both characters, for a while we're going to be following Fig exclusively, so sorry if you were looking forward to more Adaine stuff, it might be a while.
> 
> And, would this be a good time to mention that I've got three options of how to end this fic and not all of them are good?
> 
> Comments mean the world to me


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so this was like the easiest chapter in ages, so I’m hoping that means updates will be more frequent but we’ll see.
> 
> I’m actually kinda happy with this chapter! I know! Very out of character for me
> 
> I’ll probably hate it in an hour or so but oh well lol.
> 
> Yous can have a bit of reconciliation, as a treat.
> 
> (Also no, I didn’t add more chapters, it’s always been 52, what are you talking about?)

Fig wrapped the blanket around her shoulders tighter, despite the cold air of the winter morning she didn’t really need it for warmth, but it was nice, the feeling of being held, even by something inanimate, was oddly comforting on this lonely perch on the roof of her house, staring out towards the rising sun.

Without speaking Sandra Lynn sat down beside her, swinging her legs out over the edge of the roof, silently she passed her daughter a mug of hot chocolate, Fig took it appreciatively. For possibly the first time since her horns came in her mother’s presence didn’t make her feel angry or upset; it wasn’t the same warm, safe comfort she remembered from her childhood but it was something, maybe yesterday had changed something. 

“You’re friends were here before,” Sandra Lynn broke the silence after a few moments, “I think you were still asleep; I said you were ok but needed some time.”

“Thanks,” It was all Fig could think to say, her mind slightly unresponsive. Another few moments of uncomfortable but not tense silence Sandra Lynn spoke up again.

“Do you want to talk about… what happened?” Fig hadn’t exactly been very generous with details when she’d got home.

“It’s stupid…” Fig shook her head slightly, staring down into her hot chocolate; rolling it in her hands slightly and watching the patterns created by the morning sunlight on the surface of the liquid. Despite her words, after a few moments of silence she let out a sound which she wasn’t entirely sure was a sob or a laugh.

“I’ve been hurt before. Hurt far worse than this… I’ve lost people who I knew for longer than her… I’ve… I have had people hate me more than I thought they could hate anyone…” By this point her voice was shaking in defeat, “So why does this  _ hurt  _ so much?” As Fig’s anger and frustration grew she was barely aware of her mother’s arm wrapping, uncertainly, around her shoulder.

“I fucking  _ know  _ I’m a monster,” continued Fig, finding it difficult to force her mouth into the right shapes to make the words come, “I  _ know _ that, I know that I’m a… a freak… I know that everyone who even sees me hates me, that no one could ever… So why did it hurt so much when she said it?” Surprisingly, as Fig’s voice rose in anger no tears came, thinking back on it later she would think that, perhaps, she was out of tears, only anger remaining.

After Fig’s anger the still of the morning was disconcertingly empty and Sandra Lynn’s soft voice sounded oddly juxtaposed to her daughter’s outburst.

“What’s her name?”

“Adaine.” Fig’s response came around a lump in her throat, suddenly the desperate sadness welled up again, threatening to overtake her once more, bringing her to the verge of tears at just speaking the name.

“Did… did you love her?” Sandra Lynn sounded awkward, but not in the tense way of the past few months, more in kind to a mother helpless to help her child.

Fig nodded mutedly before vigorously shaking her head.

“No… No… I, I  _ love  _ her… I still do…” In between the seemingly endless vortex of pain in Fig’s mind at the moment was the echoing sound of:  _ “I thought you were beautiful.” _

FIg laughed, the admission making her stomach clench uncomfortably, “I know that’s really pathetic… but I… I love her.”

“That’s not pathetic Fig I… I know where you’re coming from I guess.”

“...really?”

“Yeah, I fucked a demon who disappeared after telling me he loved me and getting me pregnant.” Sandra Lynn replied with a chuckle. Fig tensed, at another point she would’ve used that moment to attack her mother or become defensive or try to find out something about her father. But she was tired.

“I’m sorry.” She said simply, and a part of her meant it.

“No,” Her mother pulled away slightly and turned Fig to face her as much as was possible on the roof ledge, “Don’t be. I’m not, I never regretted that for a moment. And I know I’ve really fucked up by not saying this enough since… well, lately, but Fig: you are the greatest thing that ever happened to me, I love you more than anything else in this world and… I’m so, so sorry that I hurt you as much as I have.”

“Why did you hate me?” Suddenly Fig felt very small and avoided meeting her mother’s gaze, awkwardly gripping her mug of hot chocolate.

“I never hated you,” Sandra Lynn’s voice wavered slightly, “I… I was scared that you’d hate me for… well everything, so I guess I acted assuming you hated me.”

“I didn’t hate you! I was scared and needed my Mom, but you shut me out because you were embarrassed of me!” 

“Fig… I can’t defend what I did, how I’ve behaved… I’d like to be able to blame your father… but something that happened a decade and a half ago really isn’t a good excuse. I was stupid, really stupid; and it took me seeing you come home like you did last night to realise how stupid I’ve been; I’m… I’m not asking you to forgive me… I don’t expect you to, but… all the same… I’m sorry, and I’ll try to… be better.”

“Who’s my Dad?” Fig said softly after a pregnant pause.

“Gorthalax, I… I met him when I was on a ranger mission.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“Because I was worried that you would try looking for him… and I wasted too long on that when he disappeared, I didn’t want you to be disappointed if you couldn’t find him… but,” she continued with a sigh, “that’s your decision to make, not mine… and if you want to try and find him, then I’ll help as much as I can.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Sandra Lynn nodded solemnly.

“Do you think you’d want to? Find him?”

“Yes… not now and maybe not for awhile but at some point, yes; I’d like to meet him.”

“Whenever you’re ready.”

“Thank you.” Fig responded softly before lapsing back into silence and turning back to watch the rising sun.

“I’m bi.” Fig wasn’t really sure she was going to say it before she said it.

“I know you knew I wasn’t straight but… I just… wanted to say that.”

Sandra Lynn laughed, the first genuine laugh Fig had heard from her mother in months, “Yes, I had picked up on that… I’m really glad you could tell me though... I’m pan… by the way.”

“I might be non-binary as well… I’m not sure…”

“Do you want to try out using different pronouns?”

“I, errm, yeah… that might be good… thanks Mom.” They fell into the first truly comfortable silence they’d shared in months, staring at the sunrise. Maybe they weren’t where they had been or where either of them wanted to be but it was a start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I really hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Again thanks to everyone who’s left a kudos or comments on this work, even the fact that yous keep coming back is incredible, and I really appreciate it!
> 
> Comments are, as always, appreciated, love getting feedback.
> 
> Fig is She/They don’t @ me


	31. Because of you I'm drowning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dream sequence!! I love how the first one was just a random thing to write when I couldn't be bothered to write anything with plot stuff and now they're honestly my favourite chapters to write lol

Struggling to breathe Adaine kept moving forwards as yet another mouthful of freezing salt water, she had absolutely no concept of where she was going or what was so urgent about it, all she did was keep striding forwards as the water rose up rapidly to meet her, waves crashing around her hips then, all too quickly, her shoulders until she found her feet leaving the ground and she was swimming through the turbulent water, still she did not slow or hesitate, she just kept going, leaving the shore behind her to travel further and further into the inky dark of the night.

Even if she felt the urge to turn back or look behind her Adaine would no longer be able to see the shore as it was swallowed up by the darkness which stretched eternally around her, the moon and stars blotted out by thick clouds, creating a dark so total that Adaine was barely able to tell if she had eyes open or not. But still she kept swimming forwards, barely registering what she was doing.

_ Blinking against the sudden light Adaine tried to refocus her eyesight on her new surroundings as the dark water faded away to be replaced with a bright, room filled with whirring and brightly coloured machinery. _

_ This dream was clear, more coherent and more decipherable than many of her previous ones. One moment she was surrounded by icy, endless water which was trying to drag her under to the crushing depths; then the next… well the next was somehow worse... _

_ Adaine clutched the lifeless corpse to her chest, face wet with silent tears as she brushed the hair out of Fig’s face, willing the eyelids to flutter open and a cocky smirk to appear on the limp mouth. _

_ “I’m sorry.” She whispered, pressing their foreheads together. _

_ “I’m sorry.” Adaine’s voice wavered and threatened to crack as she repeated herself, a desperate panic enveloping her as she hugged the unresponsive body tightly, hugging Fig like she’d always wanted to do. _

_ “I’m so sorry, I’m sorry. I’m sorry!” On her knees, Adaine rocked back and forth slightly, cradling Fig’s sickeningly limp and pale head; her words becoming pleading wails as she felt herself becoming engulfed in the brutal, empty feeling of loss. _

_ “Please…” Her voice was soft once more, jarringly so after her heart wrenching cries, “Please… I’m sorry.” Whether she was begging Fig for forgiveness or just letting out a general sense of anger and frustration at the world, even Adaine wasn’t sure. _

_ Looking down at the almost peaceful face in her arms made Adaine’s stomach churn and clench; yet it felt almost impossible for her to wrench her gaze away, finally she was able to and she stared around distractedly at the carnage around her. Instinctively she knew she’d caused it but it would’ve still shocked her had she not been holding Fig’s dead body. The whole room was blackened and burned; charred corpses littered the room yet somehow there were also streaks of frost gripping other bodies. Despite the horrifying destruction around her, Adaine’s attention was almost entirely on Fig. Ignoring the streams of sparks which various machines spurted out Adaine turned back to look at the person she held. _

_ Shakily, she leaned down and pressed a kiss to Fig’s forehead. _

_ “I love you. I love you more than you’ll ever know. I know I don’t deserve it but please… please forgive me… _ ”

Fig sat up in a cold sweat, the image of their own dead face burned into their mind. Shakily they pulled the covers off and swung their legs out onto the floor, sitting up and resting their head in their hands as they tried to calm their racing brain.

Even after the emotionally brutal past couple of weeks this was more chaotic, it felt like they had two people’s feelings swirling around their skull: Adaine’s sense of loss, a desperate and pleading need for forgiveness as well as an incredible amount of adoration was met by Fig’s own feelings of betrayal and rejection accompanied by not an insignificant amount of anger, and, in a deep part of their head they was trying to ignore, a small yet persistent desire to forgive, a wish to hold Adaine and tell her everything was ok, that she had nothing to apologise for.

Fig just wanted to be angry at Adaine, to forget her and move on with their life… but it was no good, Adaine’s fear and loss, her desperate, all consuming sense of regret and self loathing… they had all felt so real… even though it had just been a dream Fig couldn’t rid themself of its effects.

As much as they wished it otherwise, they knew that if Adaine begged for forgiveness like she had in her dream that they wouldn’t hesitate before giving it to her. With a groan of annoyance Fig collapsed back onto their bed, her mind still taken up by Adaine’s words of:  _ ‘I love you.’ _

_ I wish I could hate you, _ Fig thought to themself,  _ it would make this so much easier… if I hated you it wouldn’t hurt this much… _

_ If I could hate you I could let you go. _

_ But I can’t. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> I pulled a sneaky on ya! Or maybe I didn't, maybe you saw the twist thingy coming, I don't know
> 
> I hope that yous are OK with these shorter updates, later chapters might be longer again but my attention span is being a dick rn 
> 
> As always thankyou so much for all the kudos and comments this work has gotten, seriously means the world that you guys keep coming back


	32. Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, so this wasn't a chapter I planned to do, I just wrote it because I'm hoping it'll make the next few chapters flow a bit better, However the problem is that after writing this chapter I think it would work far better as being before the previous chapter, but I really cant be bother to switch them lol

It had been Riz’s idea to hold a funeral of sorts, of course none of them called it that, but it was oddly comforting for Fig as she shoved the spade into the upturned dirt once more and with a heave deepened the small hole on the low cliff which overlooked the beach. The physical activity felt good, each time she dug the spade into the earth she could almost feel the anger and frustrations of the recent events slide off of them, they hoped to bury them with her stone.

It didn’t need to be this deep, hells it could’ve been only a few centimetres down and it would’ve served the same purpose but something about the simple actions of digging felt… oddly comforting. So Fig continued digging down, ignoring the dirt and grass clinging to her clothes as she deepened the hole to about waist height, with a sigh she planted the spade into the ground and leant on its handle, looking around at the result of her labour, properly seeing her work for the first time, being too wrapped up in the exercise to be well aware of her surroundings.

“I think it’s probably deep enough now,” she remarked with a laugh to her friends who were sitting around the rim of the hole; she had insisted on digging herself and they hadn’t objected.

“You think?” smirked Fabian in response, Fig stuck her tongue out at him and began to clamber out of the pit, gratefully accepting Gorgug’s proffered hand and allowing him to haul her out, up to the surface.

With an air of carelessness which she hoped was convincing, Fig bent down to pick up the small stone from her discarded leather jacket, intending to casually toss it into the hole but something stopped her, it just fit so comfortingly in her hand, its weight familiar and welcome. It seemed… wrong somehow to just throw it away.

Not really focusing on her own actions Fig approached the edge of the pit, peering down but not able to open her hand and turn it.

“Do you… wanna say something?” Kristen ventured.

“What?” responded Fig, still wrapped up in her own head.

“Like, I know she won’t hear you or whatever… but it might help if you… I don’t know… say goodbye?”

“Yeah…” 

“We can go if you want? Give you some space?” Riz spoke up after a few moments of heavy silence.

“No, no,” Fig replied, shaking her head, “I just… don’t really know what to say, y’know? Dear Adaine I am hopelessly, all consumingly in love with you even though you hate me and I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving you even though you hurt me more than I’ve ever been hurt?”

“Just… say what you think you need to say, don’t overthink it,” Gorgug encouraged, placing a large, comforting hand on their shoulder.

Even with her friends’ support Fig didn’t find it easy to begin. She tried to speak a few times before she managed to begin, her throat feeling tight and chest constricted making her stop before she could make a word form on her lips, however, eventually she managed to.

“Adaine… I… I don’t really know what I  _ wanted  _ to happen between us, certainly not this,” Fig chuckled but quickly her face returned to the same worn, almost defeated expression which was present on her face far more than she was happy with, “but I knew that no matter what we would probably never have a… real relationship I guess. I knew that even if you… had feelings for me as well that we would never meet or anything. But for a while that was… everything I wanted. To be with you, and I think I still want that, at least a bit; there's still a piece of me which is a lot bigger than it should be that still wants to… I don’t know… open a bookshop together,” Fig laughed again and found tears rolling down her cheeks but she continued regardless, “and I know that’s stupid… this whole thing is stupid, I’m stupid… You, you  _ made _ me stupid. You are so brilliant and funny and smart and amazing you made me… made me fall in love with you and… I was an idiot. I am still an idiot… because I know if I heard your voice again I would still love you and if you told me you loved me I would waste my life loving you… Loving a girl I’ve never even met.

“You made me  _ feel _ like… like a person for the first time in ages… you made me feel like I had… value? And when you saw me… you made me feel beautiful. Before you I felt.. Like I was nothing… like I could… like I could die and no one would care. And then you made me feel worse than that. And I want to hate you for that. I want to despise you, I want to hate you and not feel anything else for you, because if I could hate you then… I could let you go but... I am  _ hopelessly... all-consumingly  _ in love with you. Even though you hate me. I don’t think I could ever stop loving you. You hurt me so much more than anyone else. And I still love you.”

“You were the most important thing in my life Adaine, and as much as I want to I don’t think I’ll ever forget you.” With a sudden motion the stone fell from her hand and Fig forced herself to breathe deeply as her hands shook uncontrollably and the sob she’d been holding back finally broke though.

“Goodbye.” 

Kristen took one of Fig’s hands in hers as Gorgug and Fabian shoved the upturned earth back into the hole.

Fig watched the stone as it was quickly covered, then she turned slightly to look up across the sea.

“Are you ok?” Kristen asked.

  
  


“I mean… I’m not good, obviously,” Fig responded with a sad smile, “but… I think I’m going to be ok… at some point. I thought I needed her, I guess I still do a bit… but… apparently she never needed me. Maybe I needed her to, maybe I just needed anyone to need me, someone to care about me,” she wiped a tear away from her eye, “but I’ve got you guys now, and you care about me… even though she never did.”

With that a silence descended on the small group and, after a few moments, they turned, walking away from the sea, from a buried stone, and, across the ocean, away from a girl who was sitting in silence as she clutched a small stone in her hand, staring across the endless expanse of water to the person she cared about more than anything else in the world, their final words still ringing in her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, I really hope you enjoyed!
> 
> So, I haven't written a character who uses multiple pronouns before so at the moment I'm just kinda alternating on a chapter by chapter basis for how Fig is referred to by the narrator, might change later but that's what we're going with for now.
> 
> Again, thank you all so much for reading, leaving comments and giving kudos to this work; it honestly means the world to me, so thanks :)
> 
> Comments are always appreciated.


	33. In my dreams I can't let you go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me to myself back in September: Hey, how about we write a stupid fluffy fic about Adaine and Fig falling in Love over sending stones?
> 
> Me in response: That's a great idea, but let's keep it fairly short, like six thousand words or so?
> 
> Me: Yeah, of course; I don't see it being that long at all.
> 
> So we're at sixty thousand words now.
> 
> Honestly though, I'm super happy with how this work is going; I just find it funny how was gonna be like six chapters or so and now its the longest thing I've ever written.
> 
> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>TW: Emotional and Physical abuse, Adaine really not having a good time tbh<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
> 
> Dream sequence!!! I know I literally just did one but this was the best way I could think of to do the time skip so here we are, also I really liked the idea so I just went with it

_ “Fig!” _

_ The echoing voice was all-encompassing, not that there was much to encompass; as Fig opened their eyes, blinking to make sure that they had actually opened them when they were met with total darkness, they saw nothing, whirling around as quickly as the uncertainty which the blackness had brought over them Fig searched for the source of the word, despite it only been one syllable it had cut Fig to the bone. _

_ It hadn’t been the tone of abject terror which had shook them; nor had it been the mystery of its origins. What had been the cause of their shock was the fact that they recognised the voice. It was one which had haunted their dreams unrelentingly but one they had long ago given up hope of hearing again outside of fantasy. While a part of them knew that this was a dream the voice had been so clear, so close that it made their spine tingle in a mixture of fear, hope and confusion. _

_ After a few heart-pounding moments Fig staggered back and nearly tripped when a small, flickering blue flame sprung to life, floating in front of their face, it took them a few seconds to get over the initial fright before they were able to properly study the fire: it wasn’t bright enough to even see the walls or floor of wherever they were but it’s slightly pulsating light was oddly soothing, it’s strength grew and faded like a heartbeat and something in the back of Fig’s head told them it was alive in some way. _

_ Reaching out tentatively Fig opened their palm, flinching slightly in the anticipation of pain as the flame alighted upon their hand; still pulsing, spreading a warmth across their arm and spreading across their whole body, calming their racing heart. Fig felt the flame leave their hand yet the warmth remained and they knew with a certainty that they were meant to follow the light as it floated away from them; without thinking they walked onwards into the dark, following the mysterious guide. _

_ What might’ve been a day or could’ve been a minute Fig came to a stop, the flame alighting on their shoulder; Fig knew they were meant to be watching however all that they could see was more, endless darkness. They turned to the flame, hoping it would give some form of direction or explanation, however a flutter of movement drew their attention to the darkness directly in front of them once more. _

_ Despite the total blackness Fig could make out a figure moving around in the same erratic movement as they had been when they found themselves in the darkness. Something clenched at Fig’s heart with an overwhelming mixture of emotions which they really weren’t ready to process right now and they knew with an almost sickening surety who the figure was. _

_ “Adaine?” _

_ Through the darkness Fig saw the movement stop and knew that they had been heard and that Adaine was looking for the source of the voice, Fig was torn: on the one hand they wanted to sprint away from the girl whom had been haunting them for years and the other wanted to run forward to either hit her or kiss her. _

_ “Adaine…” Fig repeated; taking a step forward, still unsure of what they wanted to do when they reached the high elf but as they shifted their weight forwards they felt the ground disappear and suddenly they were falling, the wind rushing past their ears furiously until they hit the surface of icy water, crashing down and being dragged under rapidly; like by a crowd of grasping hands. _

_ They let out an instinctive scream and felt the water rush in; stabbing their insides with blades of cold. As they began to feel the desperate panic set in Fig was once more illuminated by the blue light and they felt their descent slow, then stop. The flame rose up to above Fig’s head; craning their neck they looked up and could make out a figure thrashing around at the surface of the water; Adaine was clearer now, Fig could make out her rough outline this time rather than just seeing her movement. _

_ “Adaine.” They said, not thinking about the water which didn’t seem to either impede their voice or force it’s way into their lungs. _

_ Above them Adaine’s figure stilled and then dived down, the ripples from her breaking the surface spread out and down, filling all of what Fig could see and transforming the scene around them. _

_ Fig found themselves sitting in a small boat, so shocked were they that they barely registered the storm-tossed sea until a crack of thunder sent vibrations through their skull; looking around frantically Fig saw the blue flame hovering over the water next to the boat, the next instant a head broke through the surface directly beneath it; the head was clearer again yet still Fig couldn’t make out many details however they instantly knew who it was and let out a scream of horror. _

_ “Adaine!” _

_ The figure turned and a hand shot out, desperately, clutching the side of the small boat; struggling to pull herself out of the furious water; without thinking Fig moved; grabbing a hold of Adaine and ,with a strength they didn’t know they possessed, they pulled the sopping wet elf up into the boat and a hug. _

_ Again the scene changed and Fig found themself back in the endless darkness, alone but for the blue flame which was leading them once more. _

_ “Adaine?” Fig said in confusion at the girl’s disappearance before following the flame, for what felt like only seconds they moved forwards and Fig found themself standing in front of a large, ornate door. _

_ “Adiane?” The called as they knocked heavily on the oak which suddenly swung open; a bright light shone forth from behind the open door and the darkness was banished; when Fig’s eyes eventually adjusted to the painful brightness they looked up into a face above theirs; the light beaming from behind it so they couldn’t make out any features but the person was sobbing, the sound tearing agonisingly at Fig’s soul. _

_ “I’m so, so sorry…” The figure said, Fig tried to move their arm up to comfort the crying girl but found that their body wouldn’t respond to their brain’s commands and the light began to fade, the darkness again closing in around them. _

_ “I love you Fig.” Were the last words which they heard before being returned to the darkness. _

_ Opening their eyes once more Fig was sat upon a throne in what might be a church or similarly designed building; trying to move they found that they could turn their head, move their arms and do everything except leave the chair that they were sitting on; however this didn’t freak the out; of course it didn’t, Adaine was coming for them. She had promised, all they had to do was wait and Adaine would appear. _

_ Fig believed this with an unshakable faith; they believed it and kept believing for years; they believed it as their flesh began to decay and rot, as the building around them crumble and fell to the ravages of time; they believed it as they lost their sight and hearing, their smell and touch; they believed it as their tongue turned to dust in their mouth until they could no longer taste. _

_ They believed it for years uncounted as they sat there; as their skeleton was enveloped by fungus and flowers, but, as time waned for centuries, they began to doubt, and then resent; and then to hate. _

_ As ages of the world unknowably long continued to wither and destroy the church and it’s occupant Fig continued to exist, their anger allowing their continued, endless survival. _

_ When finally a girl filled with fear and desperation burst into the church past a dead raven and collapsed to her knees in front of Fig’s body the Tiefling was awoken from a centuries long slumber. _

_ “Why?” They wanted to ask, “Why did you leave me? Why did you never come back for me? How could you do that to me?”  _

_ But all that came out was an inhuman, bone chilling shriek of anger and frustration. _

_ Fig’s skeleton lurched forward from it’s seat and made to grab the girl it had grown to hate over millennia. As soon as it left the throne it turned to dust and crumpled to the ground while Fig found themself awoken in… something. _

_ It was some kind of orb; the material of its construction was translucent and through it they could make out odd, moving shapes which would often come up and look in at them; for weeks they were left there in the slowly rotating crystal; they were not allowed to sleep as whenever they tried they were slid down the side of the orb; when they felt that their limbs would wither from exhaustion the real ordeal began: images were running through their mind; their own face among others; each time they focused on one they felt their body convulse with agonising bolts or lightning shooting through their body; making them feel like their skeleton was on fire within them. _

_ After uncountable hours of the orb Fig found himself in a dark, dank room at odds with the sterile room they had sometimes been able to glance through their cage; from the shadows came a mocking, cruel laugh. _

_ “Who… who’s there?” Fig heard the words leave their mouth but they were not in their voice but a defiant, hoarse one which she recognised all too well. From the shadows came Fig. But the Fig from three years ago, her young face twisted into a vindictive sneer. _

_ “You know who I am Adaine.” Fig’s voice came to their own ears, sounding so harsh that it made them feel sick to the stomach. _

_ “No… no, you’re not… you’re not her!” Adaine’s voice protested; it was determined but weak and croaking painfully. _

_ “Oh but I am… I am the person you thought would ever love you… the person you were dumb enough, weak enough, pathetic enough to fall in love with.” Adaine didn’t respond. _

_ “But if you just apologise for your indiscretion and beg for forgiveness then you shall be forgiven. Give me up Adaine; you know I’m not really yours, I never was.” _

_ “Fuck you.” Adaine’s voice was breaking as she struggled to keep herself standing. _

_ “Fine,” Fig replied in a disinterested voice, “You’re choice.” _

_ With that Fig watched themself raise a hand and shoot out a forking blast of lightning and felt it hit their chest; hurling them painfully across the room to hit the wall which melted behind them, to reform into a similarly barren room except there were multiple figures surrounding them; without warning they raised their hands and unleashed blasts of magic which Fig threw their hands up to deflect, catching all the coloured beams and the torrents of fire and ice; but the onslaught wasn’t over and in the next instant a figure leaped from the shadows and planted a kick in their ribs which made them stagger back; only barely blocking a savage punch before being floored by a bolt of lightning to their back; desperately Fig clambered to their feet and responded to another kick with a blast of ice which threw the attacker away; but the next instant they were back on the ground from a blow to their face; touching a hand to their nose they saw blood coating their fingers; looking up they saw a hooded figure looming over them. _

_ “Pathetic.” _

_ And darkness consumed their vision again before they found themself strapped painfully to a chair; white hot pain stabbing through their whole body from their left shoulder; they tried to move, to hit away whatever was causing this unthinkably deep pain but they couldn’t move; the restraints keeping them immobile as the pain continued.  _

_ Looking down Fig saw no one at their shoulder, nor any blood or tool; all that they could see was the spreading, branching marking crawling across their skin, looping and dividing, wrapping around their arm and circling their neck; as it continued to wind itself around them Fig could make out that the lines were forming into thorny vines; each one of the thorns intensified the pain until their vision was going white from agony; eventually the vines stopped moving and the pain dulled; it was still almost unbearable but it felt like a knife being pressed into the skin rather than breaking it. _

_ Fig sagged in the chair in exhaustion as the pain slowly died down to a dull ache, breathing heavily. _

_ “Repent and confess; then all this shall be over.” Came a soft, kindly voice from the darkness. _

_ “Fuck… You…” Adaine’s voice was weak; barely audible but the other occupants of the room clearly heard her words as a second later Fig heard their own voice once more. _

_ “Tut Tut, Adaine.” A second later Fig felt the pain again and screamed out, the pain was over after a few moments but this time Fig could feel blood drip down their body and looking down saw beads of blood at the edges of the thorns as well as purple bruising where the vines had tightened and restricted. _

_ “Repent and confess.” Fig felt Adaine just weakly shake her head _

  
  


_ “Hmm, perhaps we need a more… diplomatic approach, fetch her sister.” Fig’s vision blurred and became dark; the last words becoming muffled as the world changed again. _

_ Fig found themself in a field filled with skulls and bones; an endless field of death. Once more the blue flame materialised in front of them and this time Fig didn’t have to think before following it through the field. As they walked the field continued and the amount of bones didn’t decrease but as they went further and further there were more and more flowers wrapping themselves around the white remains; lavender and violets with carnations and forget-me-nots and roses, becoming denser and denser until Fig was surrounded with a carpet of life so thick and lush they could no longer see the bones. _

_ The blue flame disappeared as they reached a nondescript point; looking around Fig saw nothing of interest other than the flowers until the sky darkened and then rain began to fall from the sky heavily. Turning Fig saw a figure standing only a few feet from them gazing up into the sky, as they took a step forward they awoke. _

Fig returned to consciousness slowly; the transition from dream to reality wasn’t jarring, it was more… sad, but not a violent, sadness; rather a sense of defeat.

With a sigh Fig clambered out of bed and walked over to their wardrobe; opening it they shifted through a huge amount of disorganised clothes until they found the box they were looking for. Taking it over to their bed they stared at it for a few moments, idly doodling in the thick dust on the top before clicking it open and taking out the locket which contained the letter they had received more than three years ago now.

They thought about opening the locket, fingers playing with the catch but they decided against it. With a deep breath Fig clambered out of the window of their attic bedroom and swung themself up athletically to the roof where they stared off into the night towards the sea, thumbing the locket they looked up into the sky; looking at the stars; something caught their attention and they gazed towards the Guardian constellation and saw that in the middle of it were two close stars; the lovers, Gutho and Liss. Fig laughed at the coincidence.

What had Adaine told them all those years ago? That meant she’d have to fight someone she loved?

Fig wondered if that ever came to pass before cursing themself for allowing their mind to wander onto Adaine once more. It had been ages since their last Adaine-related dream, and that had felt more like a normal dream, not whatever that one had been.

Groaning, Fig leaned back onto the roof. For Gods’ sake, this was the night before their first day of senior year; couldn’t they have normal stress dreams?

No, they had to dream of a girl they’d known for a few months years ago who they would never meet again.

Across Elmville in a large manor the new Ambassador’s daughter stared blankly at her crystal screen, her thumb hovering over the ‘call’ button, a number she’d found in a book typed in already.

With a sigh of defeat Adaine allowed the screen to fade to blackness before setting it down and pressing her face into her hands before gently rubbing her shoulder as it gave an angry twinge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed!!
> 
> Just so everyone knows exactly how soft I am, the blue flames are based on Bluecaps which are Northumbrian fairies which sometimes lead people to their heart's greatest desire.
> 
> As always thanks for all your comments and kudos; really means a lot, and if you have time I love getting comments!


	34. A second First Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>TW- anxiety attack<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
> 
> I'm actually catching up with the stuff I wrote ages ago when my brain wouldn't focus on the stuff I was meant to be writing; so that's neat.
> 
> The plot is gonna be picking up after this chapter so I think the chapters will be longer and uploader at a slower pace.
> 
> I wrote the last part of this at the end of November so technically I've been working on this chapter for two and a half months

Sandra Lynn watched, bemused, as her child chugged down her second cup of coffee of the morning.

“I told you that you shouldn’t have gone last night,” She smirked with amusement.

“I like the Black Pit,” Fig managed to respond around a huge yawn, “an’ I wasn’t out too late.”

“Sure you weren’t,” Sandra Lynn’s voice was dripping with sarcasm, “besides, just because you like it doesn’t mean you have to go there all the time, you literally played there last week!”

“Yeah well, it helps take my mind off of… things.” Something in Fig’s tone made Sandra Lynn drop the subject.

“‘Sides I would’ve been fine but I couldn’t sleep,” Fig continued; finishing the dregs of coffee with a grimace before placing the mug down heavily, “dreams.”

“Bad ones?” Fig made a face at her mother’s concerned question.

“Weird ones, just woke me up and I couldn’t get back to sleep.” For a moment Fig remembered how Adaine had always found it difficult to talk about her dreams beyond vague generalisations like the one she just made before she mentally scolded herself for allowing her mind to go there again; forcing herself to focus on the conversation at hand Fig heard her mother speaking again.

“Well, try not to fall asleep in the middle of class ok?”

“I’ll try,” Yawned Fig, Sandra Lynn laughed.

“Do you want another cup of coffee before you go?”

“Nah, should be good; if I was fully awake it’d be unfair to everyone else. Speaking of, I should probably be off; if I’m late that’s four years of getting detention on the first day.”

“Yeah, well I’m sure you’ll get yourself in trouble one way or another.”

“I’m offended you have such a low opinion of me mom.” Sandra Lynn smiled then stood up from the table; pressing a kiss to Fig’s forehead before heading to the door.

“I should be going too; good luck.”

“I don’t need luck,” dismissed Fig, airily, “what’s the worst that could happen?”

“Oh, Gilear’s been invited to the ball for the new Ambassador next month; he wanted me to ask if you’d want to go?” 

“No, not really I guess; not cause I don’t want to go; it’s just not my kinda thing and-”

“Fig,” Sandra Lynn cut in, “It’s fine; you don’t need an excuse, you can just say no.”

“Yeah, I know…” Fig replied uncertainly, “it’s just…” she made a vague motion with her hand.

“I know, it’s fine.” Sandra Lynn reassured.

“Thanks.” smiled Fig.

“I’ll see you tonight.”

“Yeah, see you Mom.”

  
  
  
  


\------------------------------------------------------

  
  
  
  
  


Fig cursed herself, leaning over the sink in the bathroom; splashing cold water in her face as she felt her chest tighten and breath shorten. She shouldn’t be feeling like this. It had been months since she’d allowed her mind to wander to Adaine this much, and probably well over a year since she’d had a panic attack over her former friend.

Closing her eyes Fig let out a long, low sigh. She knew it wasn’t her fault that she sometimes dwelt on Adaine, it was understandable: she wa-  _ had been  _ head-over-heels in love with the High Elf, and as she’d explained to Adaine herself: it was difficult to move on from losing someone when it was sudden. One day she’d been confessing to her best friend in the world that she was in love with her, the next she was just… gone.

But it still drove her to frustration whenever she found herself preoccupied like this; it had been two and a half years now, she had friends, she had a better relationship with her parents, she was doing well in school and her band was actually having some success; so why did her mind keep dragging her back to Adaine?

And if,  _ if _ , it absolutely had to bring her back to such a painful subject why couldn’t her brain be angry, or sad? Why couldn’t it remind her of the cruelty which had served as her only goodbye? Or her disappearance? Why couldn’t it be something which would make her want to punch the wall, or cry, or write an awesome song or something fucking useful?

Because it was never that, was it? It was always the best memories; the ones which made her feel warm and fuzzy inside with feelings that she really wasn’t going to deal with right now, the ones which drained out of her after a few seconds, leaving her empty and cold.

It was Adaine calling her beautiful, or Adaine’s small laugh which still sent shivers down Fig’s spine when she remembered it, it was always Adaine’s fascination with anything she didn’t know about, or when they’d had a birthday for her… or when her voice had sounded  _ so  _ hopeful when Fig was about to confess and she’d dared to believe, just for a second that… well that things might work out differently.

That morning it was bad. Really bad. She’d  _ heard _ Adaine, like actually heard her; heard her voice in her head like she had so many times before. Even though it was impossible Fig had felt her pulse race for the briefest moment.

She’d heard Adaine’s words to her from exactly three years ago, from her first day at Aguefort; after school when they’d been talking and Fig let slip that she had avoided messaging Adaine because she didn’t want to distract her from her exam results.

_ “Fig… If there’s anything that you ever want to talk about then I want you to bother me, I want to be able to help you even if all I can do is listen; it doesn’t matter when or what’s happening ok? It’s fine to ask for help from people who care about you.” _

_ “Fig, I- You’re really important to me Fig, and I want to be sure that you’re ok.” _

They were words which had worked their ways far too close to the forefront of her mind over the years but this time felt… different, they didn’t feel like a memory but like she was actually  _ hearing  _ the words for the first time.

Something about the words… hit her harder a lot harder than she thought it would. She’d felt her chest twinge, her lungs clenching angrily as her brain whirled. Three years ago she’d promised Adaine she’d message her if she ever needed to, likewise, Adaine had promised that she would always be there for her and all at once Fig had been hit by a wave of loneliness despite the crowds of milling students, the like of which she hadn’t experienced in years and worse, far worse: she’d felt the urge to message Adaine.

In the months after she’d discarded her sending stone Fig had often had the sickeningly familiar desire to reach for it and talk, each time she did it left her feeling brutally exhausted, like she was experiencing all the pain and loss of those weeks over and over again.

It had taken her awhile but eventually she managed to stop such invasive impulses, mostly it helped to go and talk to her friends or her mom. She wasn’t a huge fan of counseling but sometimes it even helped to talk to the guidance counselor; a kindly man almost always in half-werewolf form called Jawbone who had been hired after it became apparent that no one enjoyed Mr Gibbons’ invasive and overly personal approach to counseling resulting in him being let go, although the school still kept him on to run detention as he seemed to be as good a deterrent as any.

Oddly enough he was Kristen’s girlfriend’s uncle and guardian, so it was a bit weird talking to him about personal stuff. Still better than Mr Gibbons though.

Unfortunately the desire to message Adaine had hit her abnormally hard that morning and, accompanied as it was with a lot of other confusing emotions, it had left Fig bordering on a panic attack before she could reach out to anyone.

So, she had pushed her way through the throng of students and faculty until she eventually made it to the bathroom she was currently in.

Opening her eyes, Fig stared at her face in the mirror; willing herself to breathe, to calm down. However, she didn’t seem to be listening to herself, typical; that was just like her.

“Fig?” Kristen’s voice cut through Fig’s anxiety stricken mind as the redheaded girl walked, cautiously into the bathroom.

“You Ok?”

“Yeah,” Fig responded with a forced smile.

“Just a bit stressed; new year and everything.” Kristen looked sceptical but didn’t push the subject and hopped up onto the bench of sinks next to where Fig was leaning.

“You think you’re gonna break your record this year?” It took Fig a moment to realise what her friend was talking about; she laughed a bit when she did.

“Nah, I think I’m actually gonna skip that this year.”

“What?” Kristen gasped in mock horror.

“I cannot be hearing this! Who are you and what have you done to my friend?”

“Listen, I’ve realised it just isn’t worth sitting through an hour of Mr Gibbons.”

“But it’s tradition!” Protested the Cleric, still faking offence.

“I’ve done it three times.”

“Still counts.”

“Well, I’m turning a new leaf; from this moment I shall be the most studious student whomever studied.” The look Kristen gave her made both of them burst into laughter which seemed to dispel Fig’s panic, at least a bit.

“Have you seen the guys, how are they doing?”

“They’re… they’re good.” Fig immediately picked up on Kristen’s hesitation.

“What’s up?”

“Nothing really,” Kristen rushed to reassure her friend, “it’s just that… y’know that girl who went to Aguefort a while back, Penny Luckstone? We hung out with her a few times?”

“Yeah…” Fig replied, remembering the halfling girl.

“She used to be Riz’s babysitter or something?”

“Yeah, well; over summer she went missing and Riz is a bit messed up by it.”

“Oh, God’s… Is he Ok?”

“Yeah, I mean-” Kristen checked her watch.

“We should get going, you can ask him himself.” 

The two of them had just exited the bathroom when Fig saw a commotion around the library, moving over the two managed to shove their ways through to the front of the crowd to see what had caused the gathering.

Standing in front of the library were two figures; one was the instantly recognisable and towering figure of Vice-Principal Goldenhoard, the other; seemingly cowering before the Dragonborn, was a blonde girl; from her features Fig guessed she was a high elf.

Something about the girl, who was wearing what looked like a school uniform except with no markings or badges, made Fig’s heart skip the slightest beat and she felt her mouth dry as the girl brushed an errant lock of hair behind her pointed ear.

So engrossed in the girl was Fig that she missed most of what was going on, only snapping out of her haze when someone bumped into her.

“-and even as I’m saying that, I’m already second guessing myself, but I’ve already said it and people have already heard me say it so… detention.” 

With that Goldenhoard strode through the seething crowd of people, in the same moment the girl seemed to disappear into the throngs of student; Fig couldn’t seem to make her eyes leave the elf: even as she vanished Fig’s gaze lingered on the spot she’d last seen the girl. There was something about her…

As Fig stood, almost entranced Kristen was asking another student to fill them in.

“Goldenhoard caught the new girl mage-handing a book from the restricted section.” They answered excitedly.

“Hmmm, good for her.” Kristen remarked, but she didn’t seem particularly interested.

“That might actually beat Fabian’s and Gorgug’s record.” She added, checking her watch.

“Anyway, we should probably be going.” When Fig didn’t move, Kristen looked to her friend in confusion.

“Fig? Fig? You good?”

“Yeah…”

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing… just thinking about how important tradition is.”

“What?” Kristen asked, nonplussed.

“I’m gonna go get detention.”

“What?” Kristen called after her friend’s retreating back.

  
  
  
  


\-------------------------------------

  
  
  
  
  


Fig sat in Mr Gibbons room, buzzing with anticipation as she waited for the new girl to arrive; she was nervous, she realised, which was weird, it wasn’t like she’d never talked to cute girls before, hells; she’d dated a few. But there was something about the blonde elf girl which had affected her deeply.

It was like she knew her already, like she was a big and important part of her life, seeing her for the first time Fig’s breath had been taken away; and when she saw her tuck her hair behind her ear in the  _ most  _ adorable motion she’d ever seen Fig had had to tear her gaze away to avoid blushing deeply.

The door clicked open and Fig was ripped, rudely, away from the mental images of the girl. Turning in her chair with excitement Fig saw…

Fabian Seacaster wearing an incredibly unconvincing look of fake surprise.

“Oh, Fig,” his tone was extra-posh, like it always was when he was lying about something, “what a coincidence that you  _ also  _ got detention today, such a weird and unplanned occurrence that we  _ all  _ got detention today.”

“Ok, you can drop the whole innocent act.” Fig replied; her face wearing an annoyed expression as she glared at him, before shifting into suspicion.

“What do you mean ‘all’?” Her tone was threatening and Fabian raised his arms in surrender.

“Nothing!” The high pitched pronunciation of the word was another one of Fabian’s tells and after a second of Fig’s glare he dropped his hands and strode into the room, sitting across the room from Fig.

“We were interested, ok?”

“Interested in what?”

“In your crush.” Kristen remarked as she walked into the room.

“Well done by the way.” She said to Fabian sarcastically.

“I knew we shouldn’t have sent him in first.” Riz added as he entered the room, with Gorgug just behind him.

“Ok, it’s hardly a ‘crush’ Alright?” Fig protested.

“I’ve only seen her a couple of times and this was only so I could talk to her, y’know,” she glared at her friends, “alone.”

“Oh don’t worry, we’ll be quiet; you won’t even notice that we’re here.” Gorgug said as he brought out a huge bag of popcorn from his backpack which he opened loudly before offering it to the other Bad Kids who, Fig realised, had all sat on the other side of the classroom from her and turned their chairs to face her as well as spreading their bags and books over as many tables as possible so the new girl would have no choice but to sit fairly close to Fig.

“I hate you guys.” Fig groaned, placing her head on the desk in front of her with a thud.

“Oh come on!” Kristen protested.

“Everyone was at mine and Gorgug’s first dates.”

“Ok, firstly neither sitting in a bar talking to a stranger about God or standing around a locker then throwing a bully down the corridor count as ‘dates’ and secondly this is totally different, she’s gonna feel so ambushed.”

“Don’t worry.” Fabian reassured her.

“Mostly we’re just here in case she’s a monster or something wearing a skin suit who’ll try to kill you if we leave you alone.”

“My worries are completely soothed, thank you.”

Riz looked like he was about to say something when the door clicked open again and everyone turned around to look at the newcomer, making Fig cringe as she imagined walking into a room full of people staring at her. As expected the blonde, elf girl looked genuinely scared, blushing deeply; Fig was about to laugh and say something to hopefully break the tension but then she realised the girl wasn’t looking at the other faces, nor did she drop her gaze awkwardly or anything.

No, her bright blue eyes were staring directly at her, at Fig and they were filled with shock, fear and other emotions Fig couldn’t place. Then something clicked in her brain, she rose from her chair slightly and found that her mouth was dry.

“Adai-?” She started but before she could finish the word Adaine had turned and sprinted down the corridor, sparing a moment to glance at her friend’s shocked faces Fig darted forward, catching the closing door and wrenching it open again, setting off in pursuit of her former friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> I'm actually quite happy with this chapter so that's good; the one thing I'm kinda unsure about is Gilear, like I didn't want to just say they reconciled and I didn't want to write a reconciliation for him and Fig so I've left it just kinda open their.
> 
> Again, Comments always make my day; seriously love hearing your thoughts on my work.


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually updated a week after the last chapter! what is this?
> 
> Also, I seriously need someone to just slap me in the face when I plan on writing a short chapter: this was only supposed to be a few hundred words long.
> 
> And seriously, thank you for all the comments on the last chapter it seriously means the world to me, I love you guys <3<3<3

For almost as long as Adaine could remember this was the only thing she’d wanted; the only thing which had gotten her through the darkest days of her life; the days when she felt so alone it hurt. On those days she thought she’d go mad if it wasn’t for the thought of this. And now it was happening.

Adaine sobbed into Fig’s shoulder as the Tiefling held her tightly.

“I’m sorry- I’m sorry I… I” She half-sobbed, half-whispered, her body shaking as she clutched herself tightly to the bard.

“Shhh, shhhh, shhhh.” Fig soothed her, one hand stroking Adaine’s hand, the other wrapped tight around her waist, the sound of their voice and the smell of their hair began to calm her.

“It’s ok, I promise.”

“I… I didn’t… I didn’t mean…” Despite Fig’s reassurance Adaine was still overwhelmed by a towering wave of emotions which were threatening to tear apart her mind’s carefully crafted walls.

“I know, I know; it’s Ok. It’s over now. You don’t have to be scared anymore Adaine.”

“Really?” She didn’t even try to hide her voice breaking. She didn’t need to hide anything; not with Fig.

Fig pulled away slightly and looked up into Adaine’s eyes with a deep, genuine smile which seemed to make all the pain of the last few years melt away in an instant.

“I promise.”

“Why?” Adaine wasn’t sure if she was laughing or sobbing.

“After everything I’ve done to you? How can you forgive me so easily?” She could feel her disbelief intensify as Fig cupped her cheek tenderly, not breaking eye contact as they leaned in closer.

“Because… I love you.” They answered in a whispered chuckle.

“I…” so many emotions and thoughts and feelings, fears and hopes were turning Adaine’s mind into a war zone that she did the only thing she could do. The thing she’d wanted to do for years, the only thing she’d ever wanted.

“I love you too.” Fig’s smile grew larger and they moved in, closing their eyes as their lips were about to meet, and then…

Adaine woke up.

\----

After a few moments she sat up and hugged her legs tightly to her chest, resting her chin on her knees with a sigh.

This wasn’t an unusual occurrence; Fig featured in her dreams more often than not but usually it was a lot more vague; a lot of wishy-washy imagery which only made sense after the event they were predicting. It was rare to have a dream of such clarity; with virtually no alternate interpretations.

As much as she wanted to believe that her dream had been prophetic, Adaine couldn’t help but doubt it. If she  _ did _ run into Fig, which now seemed to be almost a surety, she could guarantee that the interaction would go in a completely different direction.

Further adding to her doubt was the fact that Adaine had almost never experienced multiple oracular dreams in one night and the one she’d had earlier was most certainly of the prescient variety.

As she did many times after her dreams Adaine felt sick; however this time it was not her unconscious visions which caused the queasiness in her stomach, no, this time it was the quiet dread which had been building and building ever since she’d learned of her father’s new appointment.

She’d tried telling herself that there was nothing to worry about; she was a gifted spellcaster: she could easily avoid one Tiefling in a large school like Aguefort, and even if she found herself in an unavoidable interaction with Fig; they wouldn’t know it was her seeing as they had no idea what she looked like.

However, in the less positive part of her brain, Adaine knew it wouldn’t work out like that. Maybe she could avoid someone for an entire year, she probably could in fact, but fate seemed determined to punish her and she knew without a doubt that she would end up cornered by her crush sooner rather than later.

And while it was true Fig didn’t know what she looked like, it would be hard for them to  _ not  _ put two and two together when the new girl from Fallinel was having a panic attack every time they were in the same room as each other, also unless Adaine just never spoke again then Fig would be easily able to recognise her voice.

But perhaps Fig would not even remember the events of three years ago too well? The only reason that they were so freshly imprinted in Adaine’s mind was the constant dreams, and the fact that while Fig had friends and would’ve been able to continue with her life, Adaine didn’t.

Fig had been her first friend, her first crush and the first person she’d really  _ loved.  _ After she’d selfishly thrown that all away she had virtually no one.

Again, Adaine dismissed this idea. She’d heard Fig’s words before they’d buried the sending stone, buried  _ her.  _ And she knew with certainty that Fig’s feelings towards her would not have dimmed too much over the years. She just wasn’t sure whether those feelings were ones of anger and betrayal or… something else.

She wasn’t even sure which would hurt her more.

With a groan of annoyance Adaine clambered out of bed and walked to her wardrobe, almost tripping on the crystal that she’d thrown across the room earlier. Ignoring the pain in her shoulder which had increased steadily since she’d woken up, she reached into the pocket of one of her blazer and allowed her fingers to brush lightly against the stone inside, wincing slightly as the pain spiked as it had when she’d been about to press the call button on her crystal.

Withdrawing the hand, stubbornly refusing to yank it away like it had been stung.

Standing in silence for a few moments; Adaine stared back at her bed, sheets a mess and, after her dreams, looking daunting, standing in the centre of her room like an open challenge to return and face her fears.

With a moment’s hesitation Adaine walked over to the door of her room; which she oddly felt no less connection to than the one she had spent seventeen years in. Without stopping Adaine slid quietly into the corridor.

Despite her parents’ room being located on the other side of the manor and reliably out of earshot; the size and audacity of the house seemed to demand an unbroken silence so deep that not even the sounds of nature penetrated it’s ancient walls.

The size of the manor, despite being fairly small in comparison to the Abernants’ ancestral seat in Fallinel, was large and it took Adaine a while to reach her destination but after an unnerving trek through looming halls she arrived in front of a door identical to all the others in the sprawling mansion.

With a sigh Adaine tapped lightly on the door, so softly that the occupant had little chance of hearing it, which was kind of the point. 

Just as Adaine was about to make her way back to her room the door opened and Aelwyn stood on the threshold of her room, bleary eyes taking in her sister.

“Adaine?” She managed through a stifled yawn.

“What’s…?” She stopped and her expression softened as her eyes flicked to Adaine’s shoulder.

“A dream?”

“Two,” Adaine responded, awkwardly avoiding eye-contact.

“Two? Both of them Prophetic in nature?” Adaine shook her head.

“It’s… it’s not important… I’m fine… I just…” As she made to leave, Aelwyn pulled her sister into a hug which Adaine returned after a few moments.

“I’m sorry if I woke you up.”

“You didn’t.” Aelwyn assured her.

“I was talking to Alys until about ten minutes ago… she told me to say hi.” Adaine smiled slightly into her sister’s shoulder.

“Are you ok?” Aelwyn pulled out of the hug a bit to look down at Adaine.

“Yeah… yeah… I think so. I just…” Adaine trailed off awkwardly.

“You can stay if you want.” Adaine forced herself to nod.

“I just… it…”

“I know, it’s fine.”

“Thank you.”

Aelwyn opened the door further and stepped aside to allow Adaine to enter.

“How is Alys?”

“She’s good… well good is a bit far maybe… she’s ok. If everything goes well then I should be back by the end of the year but it’s still hard.”

“I know.”

“I suppose you do.” Aelwyn smiled sadly. As they’d been talking the two had clambered into Alwyn’s large bed and soon Adaine found herself in a hug and they fell into a silence. A while later Aelwyn whispered,

“Adaine?”

“Hmm?”

“I… I just wanted to say… thank you. Again, for the sending stone. I… I don’t know what it’d be like if I couldn’t at least talk to her.”

“‘S’kay” Adaine mumbled sleepily.

“It’s not fun.”

“...I know…” Aelwyn’s voice was sad.

  
  


\----------------------------------------

  
  
  


As was customary the Abernant breakfast table was in a silence to ‘match the decorum expected of the family of an Ambassador’ or whatever that meant.

The silence which made Adaine’s skin crawl more than the deep silences of the night. The sounds of eating and moving accompanied by the occasional rustle of her father’s newspaper unnerved her more than the heavy, lonely silence of the night. The uncomfortable lack of speech continued as it always did for an hour or so; almost like it was challenging someone to break it.

Eventually Aelwyn spoke up, clearing her throat as if she was seeking permission to continue, the only indication given that anyone was listening was Angwyn’s eyes flitting to his eldest daughter for a moment before returning to the newspaper.

“The Bastion replied to my request of admission this morning,” Adaine rolled her eyes, despite her relationship with her sister becoming far less adversarial over the past few years; sometimes her smug tone still irritated her. The way she spoke about the prestigious school of The Bastion, around which Bastion City had grown, was still filled with pride, even if it was a fairly mediocre University in the eyes of Fallinel.

“They said that they would be honoured to accept someone of my skill and would be more than happy to accommodate the transfer.”

Angwyn and Arianwyn both seemed to ignore their daughter’s news however both Adaine and Aelwyn knew that was a sign of pride; had it been Adaine who delivered an announcement of acceptance to The Bastion, the silence would be replaced by snide remarks at best.

A few moments later Angwyn read something from the paper he was still absorbed with a loud.

“The Elven Oracle’s ship,  _ the Cerulian _ has gone down on the crossing from Fallinel.” With a wry smile he closed and folded the paper, placing it down deliberately besides his finished breakfast before lifting his teacup towards Aelwyn, an action mirrored by Arianwyn.

“Good work, Aelwyn. We knew you would do us proud.”

“Quite, Well done.” Arianwyn echoed her husband.

Adaine felt her stomach twist and her breakfast threatened to come up again, looking over the table to Aelwyn she saw her sister smiling but could tell from her eyes that she was also fighting the urge to vomit.

“Thank you for this opportunity to serve our family.” The Abernant parents nodded in acknowledgement before turning their attention to Adaine.

“We trust that you know what is expected of you Adaine?”

“Yes mother,” responded Adaine, not making eye contact with anyone at the table.

“I will do what is expected of me.”

“We shall see.” Her father’s voice somehow seemed to contain all his disbelief that Adaine was capable of anything and also various threats of retribution if she were to fail.

“Speaking of, you should probably be heading off now, I believe that there is a bus… somewhere which takes you somewhere in the vicinity of Aguefort.”

Adaine bit back a response about how better parents than her own may have looked that up for her, or at least offered assistance on her first day; all she wanted to do right now was to leave the house as quickly as possible and find somewhere quiet to freak out.

After years of practice Adaine was extraordinarily good at making quick exits and it took her very little time to arrive on the street outside of the ambassador’s manor, as she was about to head off towards the bus stop she was stopped by a hand on her right shoulder.

“You don’t have to do this Adaine; they wouldn’t even find out for months.” Aelwyn’s voice was reassuring but Adaine knew that her sister didn't share her reservations about what they were doing.

“I do though… if I don’t…”

“I know,” responded Aelwyn sadly, squeezing Adaine’s shoulder.

“But this… you shouldn’t be doing this because you don’t have a choice, can’t you see what we’re doing here Adaine? This is a good thing, not something to fear or resist.” Adaine just looked away.

“Good luck.” Aelwyn sighed.

“Thanks,” said Adaine quietly before turning away and heading down the road.

  
  


———————————

  
  
  


It was the work of only a few seconds to mage hand the book  _ Watches and Wards  _ from the restricted section; the magic preventing anyone being ordered by Kalvaxus, either directly or otherwise, from picking it up was almost laughably easy to get around: it was an archaic form of magic which relied on intention rather than the strict rules used today. 

Admittedly it was more difficult than the maze enchantments she’d helped Fig with years ago; merely thinking about  _ not  _ being ordered to steal it would have little effect. Still, it wasn’t too difficult. 

Taking a deep breath Adaine closed her eyes and focused her divinatory powers on a few seconds in the future; and watched herself raise her hand and beckon the book towards her. As soon as she saw the book reach her hand Adaine raised her hand as she’d seen herself do a moment ago, and cast the spell.

For a moment the carefully crafted wards and Adaine’s powerful divination battled but eventually the latter won out; the wards deciding that because she already had the book she must have already gotten it through the wards, meaning she couldn’t have been ordered to take it by Kalvaxus so, logically, they would have to let the book float through them unopposed.

Adaine felt the heavy tome gently float into her outstretched hand; releasing her magic Adaine opened her eyes and looked down, head swimming from the exertion of partially altering reality.

Barely paying attention to the Dragonborn vice-principal who was berating her, Adaine didn’t object to someone taking the book from her hands. As soon as she felt a lull in the attention being directed at her Adaine fled through the crowd of people, trying her best to find a deserted spot in which to collapse for a few moments.

It didn’t take her long to find a corridor which was empty, feeling her breath quicken and chest clench as a familiar feeling of panic grasped her, Adaine wrapped her arms around her head and slid down the wall so she was crouched in the corner of the hall; desperately trying to regulate her breathing.

She wasn’t entirely sure what she’d just done. Her parents had, predictably, been very sparing with the details. All she knew was that someone named Kalvaxus wanted the book taken from the library and had wanted the Oracle killed. Even the little she knew made Adaine’s skin crawl but she didn’t have a choice. If she hadn’t helped… she didn’t even think about the consequences, on the verge of a meltdown already.

Adaine heard voices approaching her and instinctively cast invisibility on herself. She wasn’t doing anything wrong but if she had to bend reality, start a new school, get detention, worry about running into Fig  _ and  _ have people see her having a panic attack… well that would be just a bit much.

Looking up to see who was drawing up to her, Adaine froze and the breath left her body entirely.

She watched silently from her crouched position as two figures walked down the hall, one was a human girl in a purple tie-dye shirt and jeans with wild orange hair which was somehow pulled back into a ponytail exposing the back of her scalp which was shaved.

But it wasn't the redheaded girl who drew Adaine’s attention, it was the other person who drew the breath from her body; who made her heart almost stop. No the soul-wrenching, world-stopping, chest-clenching sight was the Tiefling clad in a leather jacket, band shirt, pleated skirt, fishnets and combat boots.

Adaine knew that there was a good chance of seeing Fig today but even so, nothing could prepare her for seeing the person who had haunted her dreams for the past three years, the person who she still loved, despite the time elapsed, and the person who had once loved her.

Feeling her mouth dry as she mindlessly followed Fig and their companion as they passed with her eyes, Adaine gulped and had the overwhelming impulse to do… something… 

She had no idea what, she was torn between running away and chasing after them, between screaming and crying, between having a heart attack and being sick.

Thankfully, all these competing impulses fought each other to a standstill and all Adaine did was let out a sigh. 

Fig turned when they heard a sound, just at the edge of their hearing; as their face turned, Adaine saw it as if it were in slow motion; every freckle on their face, every strand of hair seeming at once, so familiar and terrifying. Scanning the corridor for a moment Fig turned back around and kept walking.

When the two were gone Adaine sagged even further down the wall and began to sob silently; seeing Fig like that, so close yet feeling miles away, so real but untouchable… that was one too many things to be dealing with right now.

Had Adaine not been hit so hard by Fig’s appearance like a punch to the face; she would’ve heard Fig and Kristen talking as they walked down the corridor.

“You can’t just fall in love with a girl after seeing her  _ once.”  _ Kristen was protesting in bemusement.

“Firstly, never said ‘love’, I just wanted to talk to her cause I thought it was metal that she stole something on the first day-”

“Yes, those heart-eyes really said, ‘I admire your criminal work.’” cut in Kristen sardonically.

“Secondly,” Fig pointedly ignored their friend, “How long have you been dating the girl you talked to in a bar in Freshman year?”

“Touchè. So what are you gonna do to get detention?”

“Not sure yet might-” Fig stopped talking to look over their shoulder at a noise before shrugging it off when they saw nothing, “just steal Aguefort’s tea or something; the best crime is improvisational Applebees.”

“Would you like some company in the Slammer?”

“No.” Fig’s answer was emphatic.

“Don’t, I know you’re thinking about doing it anyway, and don’t Ok? Just don’t.”

“I won’t!”

“Don’t.”

“I wasn’t going to!”

“Yeah you were.”

“Ok, maybe; but I won’t, promise.”

“Thank you.”

  
  


\-----------------------------------------------

  
  
  


Apart from having a panic attack, stealing a book for reasons she didn’t understand, dealing with a huge amount of people and seeing the person she was in love with Adaine’s day had gone…

Fairly shit. It would’ve been bad anyway, as much as she despised her school in Fallinel, going from there to the loud, bustling and almost completely insane Aguefort was genuinely terrifying, even ignoring everything else which had happened.

Including everything else Adaine had been completely exhausted, both mentally and physically, the whole day; barely able to keep focus on her lessons which were simultaneously less stressful than her old classes as the teachers weren’t anywhere near as intense as her previous instructors, but also much worse as at every moment there seemed to be an insane amount of attention on her from every other student. And the noise was unbearable; the rumble of talking clouded her mind and made it increasingly difficult to think.

But still, it was the end of the day and all she had to do now was detention. From what she’d gathered it was very rare to get detention on the first day of the school year and so she hoped it’d be just her; hopefully doing something quiet, like writing lines.

She was trying to focus on getting through the next hour, so much so that she didn’t notice that the classroom was already occupied until she turned the handle on the door and walked in; immediately all eyes turned to her, any other time she would’ve immediately felt sick; but the feeling she got from seeing Fig sat there, looking at her with a smile was so intense that she barely paid any heed to the other students in the room.

For a moment time froze and the tiny hope that she’d had that Fig wouldn’t recognise her if they met was extinguished immediately, Adaine was filled with a dawning sense of dread as Fig’s smile died and they rose from their chair.

“Adai-”

Adaine didn’t stay to hear what they were about to say, instead sprinting from the room as quickly as possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed!!
> 
> Sorry about this chapter not being them meeting; I know people were excited about that and I did mean to say in the notes of last chapter that I wouldn't have that in this chapter but then I forgot.
> 
> Also, sorry about the dream sequence, I just wanted to write a nice meeting and then not post it, then I was gonna post it in a separate work... but then I decided to be mean and put it here as a dream.
> 
> Comments always give me serotonin.


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